School reported daughter's dream to social services, should I complain?

[Maya2233]

Hi, I need some advice. My daughter, she just turned four, is in reception.We have a very loving and beautiful relationship i never even shouted at her. I love her so much. Never had any complaint in nursery or never anything of any sort. So what happened is I went to pick her up today and the head teacher, she called me on the side and it was during the carpet time that she mentioned that mummy hit me on the head. the teacher who was there, was not the class teacher. class teacher was absent. She was another teacher. So she took her to the office and there my daughter, she said the same thing and then she said that it was a dream. So what they did is they reported this to the social services. I am so cross at this as she did mention that it was a dream. And when I went to pick her up and I asked her, the first thing she said was that mummy, I saw a dream last night that you hit me on the head. So I am so unhappy about this, and I don't know how to take this forward, because how can you complain this thing to the social services? The social services didn't even contact me.I don't know why would they bother about a dream. But I am so upset about this. Do I have any rights to complain about the teacher? The class teacher came today she was also surprized and said i know you guys and i am so sorry about this and i will handle everything.

There’s no way this supposed incident reached the reportable threshold. This didn’t happen.

Outing but this happened to us when Ds was in reception. He kept it up all the way through to be questioned by the head. School called me and in I went in a complete state. Finally he said to the head who was trying to work out when I had hit him “she did hit me. In my dream last night! Can I have another sweet?”

honestly it was terrifying and now years later I look back and laugh. They did some social stories on dreams and reality. We laughed about it years later when I was on the governors and had the role of overseeing safeguarding.

While it was happening and up to being in the governors I believed and said that school absolutely had a duty to report. I thanked them for taking it seriously. As how do you know the next child has just had a dream? We all have a responsibility and THIS is how children don’t fall through the cracks.

Oh and it was reported to social services who were happy that school had handled it and I never even got a call. Again I was perfectly happy for it to be logged. It builds a history IF THERE WAS abuse.

If it did - then it’s because there is a huge history of concerns. And I suspect there is.

I attended a school that did nothing because of parents like OP it meant kids like me coming to school with a broken rib got no help because they were too scared to say anything ☹️

Have you never had a bad dream? Really? it happens to most people and doesn't mean anything sinister. I am a retired teacher and recently had a dream that all my class escaped and ran down the road it never actually happened.

This is because children have human rights too they are not merely their parents' possessions. You are also being completely OTT which makes me suspicious of your own conduct towards your children.

Your child said you hit her. Blame your child not the teacher she’s the one telling dreams as though real. Time to teach her why dreams aren’t real and why what we say matters.

Sorry they should have spoken to the parent accused of beating their child about said beating before reporting the beating to the services that prevent children being beaten?

Discuss it with the schools safeguarding lead and check they followed the correct procedure. Personally I think it was over the top. In the extent that she said it was a dream before you picked her up. Also I assume there were no other physical/emotional problems being displayed.
I would go back to the school teacher and to the Head. The fact it wasn’t the normal class teacher stands out to me.

I am talking about striking the balance.
What we are seeing now is the total state surveillance of everybody and parents fearing of their own children as a result. And 'do whatever you want' culture stemming out of fear of being reported.

The school would just lie for it to reach the threshold.
I've seen it happen first hand.

No, I simply come form a country where there is a balance (think Europe?)
What I'm saying here is that the pivot has shifted radically here to the other side and there are unintended negative consequences in the society here stemming from this radical policy that has totally reshaped how the youth behave at schools or towards authorities.

The school did the right thing as she didn't initially say it was a dream. Stressful for you, but it'll come to nothing unless she keeps reporting similar.
I'm glad safeguarding is better than it was when you'd need to be black and blue before action was taken.

I agree. The parents would just lie if they were really doing it

You might be right

Why do people never want to say what European country they are from?

I don't think the balance is better in Europe. I follow the French news and there is currently a scandal about abuse going on in after school clubs. There are also cases like this

www.france24.com/en/live-news/20250124-french-mother-sentenced-to-life-for-daughter-s-starvation-death

The child wasn't beaten, it was a dream FFS!!! Do you have any idea how overburdened social services is? Reporting this in the absence of any other concerns is ridiculous which is why SS never called. The reason actually abused children get missed is because they have to shift through crap like this, thousands and thousands of these superficial notifications every year which means resources for really serious abuse are less and at risk children get lost in the system.

The child did not say it was a dream until later. The teacher was right to raise it. Blaming her for other cases being missed is ridiculous

I don't agree with you.

You know that @CaptainMyCaptain
but this school doesn’t know whether or not a dream that a child recounts has seeds of reality to it

I was replying to @Waytoohothot who seemed to think having a bad dream (we don't even know how scary it was) was a sign of something terrible. I think everyone has dreams and sometimes they are bad dreams.

yes my point is that you KNOW your bad dream was nothing to be concerned about.

This school doesn’t know that at all. They have a young child telling them something disturbing and they well know that children often have round about ways to telling you what is actually happening in their lives

Yes complain .. be THAT parent … FFS

The school did its job checking. Why are you angry with them for following the law?