What did his ex mean by this?

[merrysunflower]

Last week I attended a sporting event for my partners son.
during the match my partner and her partner were cheering on the team. I think it turned into a little bit of who could shout the loudest. She pulled her partner back and was speaking to him and I heard her say ‘we don’t have to love them the loudest’ the partner instantly reined it in.

it’s really played on my mind all week. What do you think was behind that comment?

I am not a step-parent and if I am totally honest I would hate for my kids to have one.... HOWEVER Mumsnet responses to step-parents is ridiculous!! 🤯
A kid having more adults support them is never a negative...(Until douchebagsnmake it a pissing contest as in the OP.) Mum was right to shut it down, stepmum has every right to be there (I know some circumstances a step parent can overstep and contribute to dramas, but that's not the situation as described here) as I said, I would never want another mother figure in my child's life, but if it happened, they would never know that!! That would be my shit to deal with. I had a wonderful step-dad. Never made me love or need my dad one bit less.

The stepmother haters are out in force, I see.

Ir was a stupid immature pissing contest. It wasn’t a dig at anyone, stop looking for aggro, she shut it down and in a classy way too. Good for her.

‘Stop waving your dick around you utter arsehole’ Just hazarding a guess.

She is quite right, and I think made a valuable point that it isn't a competition and that it turning into "who could shout the loudest" was very childish and potentially makes the child involved feel ridiculous and embarrassed. Ultimately, it's just about supporting your partners son, and not about comparing with the other parenting couple. Your partner/her partner were being ott not to show their love or support, but to out-shout each other - she was quire right pulling her own partner back and reminding him that it isn't how love and support works.
I don't think it was a mean dig, but more a reminder to both men that trying to be the loudest isn't actually the best way to love/support their son/stepson and instead just focusing on being there and supporting him the way he wishes is enough.
In your shoes I'd have said the same message to my partner, getting into a competition with an ex/her new partner is embarrassing and doesn't show a united front to his son. You should all try and be one parenting team, not trying to out do one another (or looking to find offense which it sounds a bit like you might be doing here tbh) - Try and see the best in each other, I think. It's lovely you were all there though, he's clearly a loved little boy which is great.

WTAF? Of course step parents go to their SC's activities. Just like the Mother's partner was there.

It's very, very strange and weird to think they should not be there. 🙄🤔🙄

Because, unlike some posters here who think that step parents should not show up for their SC, the OP and many other step parents care about their SC and aren't twat waffles.

It was a reminder to her DP AND her ex that love is not a competition and louder is not more love. As for you hearing it, so what? Stop looking for digs that haven't happened.

Stop looking for reasons to be offended and act like a mature adult.

It meant he was being an embarrassing twat trying to face off with your DP to impress his partner and the ex was mortified.

She was telling her partner that he doesn't have to compete with her ex in the performative parenting competition. There are better ways to show love and support than shouting.

She was probably just worried they were embarrassing the poor kid!
Unless there's some sort of drip feed coming, you're totally over thinking.

People are really saying ‘why were you there?’ Wow. Maybe because she has a relationship with the child? Maybe because the child loves her? Maybe because it is really nice for a child to see his parents and step parents all supporting them?… i’m baffled that this would be anyone’s first question.

Because some people are grown ups and put the child’s best interests first! She might have the child half the week with his father therefore being part of his life but stay bitter!

Probably invited

I don’t think it was a ‘dig’ at anyone, she was just pointing out that love doesn’t have to be performed and that quiet support is equally valued. Don’t look for things to be offended by.

I think she was sick if the both of them and their man egos and nothing to do with you

You know that scene in Bridesmaids with the engagement party speech? The one where Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrne are trying their best to prove their friendship is better than the other? Remember how it gets embarrassing for everyone who can see that it was never about the friend? Especially with the horrendous loud singing?
This was basically the kids football match equivalent of that scene. She was basically saying it was clear he was trying too hard to prove he cared more than his own dad and was probably embarrassed that everyone could see through it.

Rude.

Why are you trying to make this about yourself? I doubt she could have cared less whether you heard or not, you weren’t being the problem. She was telling her new partner to stop being an over the top idiot. She most likely was thinking that her old partner was being an over the top idiot too but knew it was no longer her place to mention that to him. She seems a smart lass (other than in her pick of men).

The pair of them were being far too loud, and she told them to be quiet.

Support at a sporting event isn't about who screams the loudest. They were probably creating a disturbance by the sound of it.

It really isn't that deep, and i'm surprised you don't understand what you meant.

“Love them enough” to turn a sports event into a public pissing contest, you mean?

Children do not need additional parental figures. Two involved parents are plenty and other adults muscling in and acting like they are the children’s parents too generally just causes issues, as demonstrated here.

The OP seems to suggest that rather than the child feeling loved by the sideline crew, they were more likely be embarrassed that three out of four adults present were making the game into a dick-measuring contest.

Yes, and it's sounds like it was a comment made between her and her partner, not to both men, so not really anyone else's business anyway. Move on, your good.

That had nothing to do with OP though?