Four week old unsettled after night feed and I am exhausted- send help

[SharM1018]

I have a 4 week and his night time has become exhausting.

He has a bath then a 5oz bottle and he falls asleep about 9pm….. He wakes bout 1am for his next,another bottle at 5oz, he usually poops, burped and back to bed…. That’s when everything goes downhill…..he settles for 10mins and then wakes up restless and this continues for hours! I try burping him, white noise, swaddling, rocking, nothing works….. he has a dummy which he either spits out and acts like he can’t find OR he sucks on it like I haven’t just feed him.

I have no idea what to do. I am at the point that I’m crying cause I’m so tired and frustrated at 3am.

I don’t have anyone to get up with him and I have a 13month so can’t just take him for a walk.

any help is appreciated

Surely you just leave the dummy in, as him sucking on it as though he's still feeding is the whole point?!

I breastfed and coslept and both mine would feed to sleep but with DC2 at some point (I forget when) i replaced boob with a dummy so I could get more rest! 😅

Editing to add that I assume you're sure he's not still hungry?! Otherwise he'll be sucking for comfort and you can definitely leave the dummy in 😊

Agree with PP about the dummy.

Breastfed babies spend a lot of time just sucking just for comfort, in formula fed babies this is replaced with a dummy.

If you offered him a little more milk would he drink it? He could still be hungry.

How soon after feeding are you putting the baby down? Id feed, burp (rub, dont pat because it can bring up acid), swaddle, hold upright for 30 minutes and tgen put down in cot ( elevate the head endv of the cot so its at an angle with head higher than feet, put in white noise.

i wonder if he’s still hungry. i breastfed, so maybe it’s not quite the same, but the baby would clusterfeed so have nights where she would feed every hour. presumably ff babies do this too.

Do you have stairs, I found walking upstairs was good for a burp?

Does he need a bigger bottle?

He doesn’t keep it in, so after 10mins he cries and spits it out and it’s the cycle that carries on all night

Remember 4-6 weeks is prime growth spurt territory. He may actually be more hungry, try a bit more milk and see if he settles.

Don't always go off what your first would eat at that age they are all different and although I breastfed one of my friends who bottle fed said her second requied totally different amounts of formula to her first.

So this starts as soon as I have finished feeding him, he has recently gone up to 5oz and then when I reach two hours I give him another bottle. He would be sick if I feed him anymore

He is kept upright for a minimum of 20mins after, he is pace feed on his side upright and burped a lot. I am unable to lift the end of the cot.

already doing swaddle and white noise

Is he crying or just making a lot of noises?

Feed again or use the dummy, that's the point.

Breastfeeding so much easier, just put them back on the boob.

Brave of you to have two children so close together, did you forget what babies do at night?

I am that exhausted that I wouldn’t trust myself walking up and down the stairs with him multiple times. He has drops in his bottle and colic milk.

Doesn't sound like he's eating enough? I'd be expecting more regular feeds at that age. Are you able to safely cosleep?

Pretty sure you're meant to feed on demand, not a 2 hour schedule. That's literally not how babies work

oh I didn’t forget but my other child was the completely different to my youngest so I am out of my comfortable zone here

No but by the time I have finished feeding him, changed him, burped him and kept him upright for 20mins, laid him down….. I’d be picking him up again to feed him 30mins later….. I do not want to overfeed him as that can cause issues as well

Four weeks is so tiny. .. just give yourself a huge break and remember you’re doing amazing to be minding such a tiny human. Ignore that state of the house or just get as much rest as you can during the day..
Ifyou’re bottle feeding consider changing to the comfort formula?? Our daughter wouldn’t settle with normal Aptimal but did really well with Aptimal comfort..

No he is crying, I leave him a hot minute to make sure and it’s crying and whining as well as flying arms and legs.

When is his bottle after 1am? Are you expecting him to go to the morning?
4 hours between 9pm and 1 is already a big stretch for a 4 week old.

Thank you, we literally changed him to comfort milk 2 weeks ago hoping it will be better on his stomach…… I would love to but I have a 13month old who is a spitfire of energy.

No advice that hasn’t already been given OP but just solidarity, honestly some babies are just fussier than others and sometimes it’s just a wave you have to ride and nothing you have done or haven’t done. I have 2 children, my eldest is 2 and still doesn’t sleep through the night, was up & down through the night a lot from newborn to 18 months, my youngest is 9 months old and has pretty much slept through consistently from being about 10 weeks old- I haven’t done anything differently, just different babies!

At 4 weeks old I’d say this all sounds very developmentally normal although I know it is so tough when you’re in the thick of it. I just leaned into the night wakes at this age and used to set myself up with some snacks and a film or show on the TV and that mindset change really helped with the frustration/tiredness. It’s hard, give yourself credit, good luck x

Try a swaddle
And most 4 week olds wake every 2-3 hours day and night for feeds so behaviour isn’t unusual
I would think at this age, an unsettled baby needs more feeding

9pm is his average time, he wakes up every 3 - 3 and half hours…… just used that time as an example. But always starts from 1am the restlessness.
no I am not expecting him to go til 6/7am but at least an some kind of unbroken sleep in between feeds would be nice

I have been trying swaddling the last two nights and I haven’t seen much difference but I am still early days.

he literally just went up to 5ozs of comfort milk and he is feed every 3- 3 and half hours, sooner if the weather is hot

This comment is quite unhelpful.

OP couldn’t start breastfeeding now even if she wanted to.

She also can’t put the baby back and have a larger age gap.