IVF Pregnancy Club - now IVF Baby Club!

[CloudyIvy55]

Hello again ladies!

The IVF Pregnancy Club thread was so helpful for me throughout my pregnancy — there’s nothing like the support of people who just get it. Now that our babies have started to arrive, I thought it would be nice to start a follow-on thread so we can keep chatting, sharing advice and supporting each other as we adjust to life with our little ones 🥰

Hey all! @AmberRose26 funny as our wee one hates to car seat. Or maybe we only started taking her out in the car seat when the 6-8 week period began. We had a stressful 30 minute journey to my sisters with her screaming the whole way and me holding back tears! Not long after this phase though I think she has started sleeping longer stretches and now feel she gets very tired at night bounces her head on my breast which is a sign of a her exhaustion but then we’ll sleep for 5 to 6 hours in a row. We did just have the eight week jabs and it was quite difficult. She had a fever a couple of times. A bit lethargic today but eating slowly.

@dubkitten oh wow! What a cool thing to do. Are used to look at the baby pictures on the wall and could never believe that would be something I could contribute one day maybe I should!

@Sara237 i’m so glad to hear things are getting better. There are sometimes bad moments here but I think overall we’ve been lucky but being led by the baby has led to a fairly cam routine at least at night daytime are hard to get anything done but as @AmberRose26 said, i’m just imagining times where I won’t be able to cuddle her all day anymore to help with the frustration of not getting things done!

@dubkitten awh that’s so lovely, hope your visit went well! It must be so rewarding for the staff to have postive outcomes and then actually seeing the baby will just be magical for them am sure !✨💛.. will no doubt boost there working day ☺️

@Sara237 wow that’s an amazing chunk of time to be sleeping !! Baby girl will be 8 weeks exactly tomorrow and I do feel we are slowly having more brighter /smiley days now which is good, she slept for 5 hours the other night but hasn’t done it again, usually 3h 30m /nearly 4 is her longest through the night.

@Nosejug awh hopefully your wee toot is better now after her fever from her jags. !! and the longer sleeping spells have continued.. the car seat incident sounds stressful .. is she liking it more now ? I got a mirror that attaches onto the headrest seat that her car seat sits on (behind my drivers side) and it reflects in my driving mirror so I can see her .. but she can see herself in the mirror also and when I 1st put her in the seat she smilies at herself .. it’s so cute 🥹✨💛

has anyone had their 1st period /menstrual cycle yet ? I got a feeling like I was ovulating on sat , then today there is blood , I did have white sticky discharge the other day also .. so I think this is my period returning? I thought this is early for exclusively breastfeeding? Hopefully my milk doesn’t dry up .. she still seems to be getting enough to drink so that’s good ?! I did have a retained placenta after birth and had to be knocked out n sent to theatre and lost lots of blood so i hope it’s nothing to do with that like bleeding from bits still in ?! and it’s just a normal period I hope ?!🤔

It was really nice and everyone was thrilled to see her!

Hope your all doing OK - I've got something playing on my mind as today my partner said he doesn't want any more kids and I'm feeling pretty sad about it.

I always pictured a few children and would love to give my boy a sibling.

However, after years of pregnancy loss, infertility, IVF, a nervous pregnancy and a traumatic birth, he said today that he can't do it again. Obviously, I understand his point of view - it's been really difficult, but I was shocked at how decisive and final he sounded.

Now I don't know if I should just let it go for now and try to forget it. Tell him how much I want another. Or count myself incredibly lucky to finally have my baby after everything we've been through.

Oh @CloudyIvy55 that is a tough one, and especially with you knowing you want another child but your partner seeming so definite. Do you think it could just be as baby is so new and things can be quite stressful , adjusting to parenthood and the sleep deprivation, also you don’t get much back from the baby at the age (if you know what I mean) yes they are smiling coo’ing etc this early but for a dad he maybes isn’t so well bonded (if he can’t fed if your breastfeeding) as you and I guess am trying to say maybes once baby is bit older and he is getting /creating a better bond and baby is speaking/playing a bit more he will maybes change his mind and come round to the idea of another child after seeing the more joy /feedback from the baby, sorry I know what I want to say but don’t think it’s coming out very well, I hope you get what I mean 🙄😅 hope you are ok and try not let it get your mood down too much, and you can just enjoying being at the minute in the moment with your new born and as a family of 3 at present. Although I understand it’s hard and thinking of the future is hard not to think about , you are totally right to be wondering what will be and what will happen.

we have 1 frozen euploid embryo left and we were planning on trying this transfer after baby is 1 year old but after my birth with the retained placenta and me losing so much blood, and my age as I am 43 just now so would be 45 but time I give birth if it is a successful pregnancy, I just don’t know if I can take the risk ? This is a tricky decision for us also.
on a plus .. baby girl slept 6 and half hours last night !! Woop .. from 10pm ish to 4:30 ish .. she is currently wide awake and telling me ‘stories’ lying in bed 🥰.. finally think we are bit by bit leaving the 6-8 week fussiness behind and getting into a bit of routine.. feels like a win for today so I’ll take it. She is now 9 weeks old

Hope everyone else is doing good. ✨💛

Aw @CloudyIvy55 that is tough. I think @AmberRose26 has some good points though, and I’ve definitely heard it before, my friend for example being a new dad and being like no way no more, and that was after a comparatively easy (spontaneous conception) journey and pregnancy them both. But then all of a sudden he wanted a second. Early days can be overwhelming. And absolutely, he might just need some time to bond and see the ‘light’. My own dp does look a bit helpless and forlorn when our baby is crying and he can’t do anything. Tbh it annoys me (probably unfairly) bc I’m like, “well try another position or sth, stand up! Do lunges with her! Whatever! I’m tired!” in my mind.

so if say a mix of, give it a little more time and do let it be known that you’re not ready to not try for another. With myself, I thought I’d gotten my period after just a few weeks and felt weirdly sad or pressurised to start trying again, even though I’d so love a sibling for our baby (and for themselves!) So maybe it’s a complex thing, letting yourselves enjoy the relief stage for a bit longer without rejoining what was likely a deeply painful and difficult time. A bit of recovery and battery recharging.

I don’t know if I would do ivf again, we had two spontaneous but unsuccessful pregnancies, so it’s not impossible to get pregnant, though highly unlikely given our mix of issues. It’s mainly the cost of ivf that makes me stop, my low egg response would make it very pricy, and really, I’m not sure we’d ever be as lucky again. Never mind the issues with my cervix. But I want my daughter to be part of a close sibling relationship. It’s been weirdly occupying my thoughts a lot that one day me and her dad will be gone and she’ll be left alone. But hopefully she’ll be old by then.

Hi all!

I'm so sorry, I just went silent, but I couldn't find a free hand to type. I must catch up slowly.

We're doing ok. Jamie is nearly 11 weeks and basically happy, though he's massive. I went back to work very gently a few weeks ago, and I'm doing about 10 hours a week split between gardening and writing, and so far it has been ok. I've even got a couple of recommendations for new clients who want me in the spring, so that is a weight off my mind. OTOH I'm really struggling with breastfeeding and we're mostly onto formula.

On my very brief skim (I will catch up properly) I saw the discussion about wanting another one. It's so hard, isn't it?! I feel daft because I have two beautiful children, but I also feel so sad that Jamie is my only experience of a pregnancy that got through to the end, and I would so love to do that again, and to have another one. I am so loving what it is like having a house with two children in it! It's the best.

Hope you are all well. I am going to catch up properly now - if he lets me!

Aw @CloudyIvy55 that sounds tough. I say you both just need to put it to one side until you are out the other side of the newborn trenches and then have another conversation. He probably found it tough seeing you suffer so much and is anxious of it repeating.

In my case I always knew I would be one and done. I turned 43 recently and if I was to go again it would t be until next year and feel I’d be too old. I’m happy with just the one and as I used a donor I don’t need to consider how a partner feels.

In saying that I still haven’t been able to contact the clinic to remove my remaining embryos from storage!

HELLO EVERYONE

im so sorry I completely forgot to check Mumsnet at all

how is everyone?! How are all your beautiful babies?

@Sara237 sorry you had a touch few weeks, I hope they are better now 🩵

@CloudyIvy55 that’s really hard ☹️ do you think it’s like @AmberRose26 said and because men find baby stage quite difficult? I honestly thought my partner would find it hard as babies don’t do much but he dotes on baby boy more than a thought (admittedly he doesn’t have any of the hard parts, feeding, night wakes, etc etc) but I know if he wasn’t working constantly he would pick up those things and spend all his time with baby. I hope you both land somewhere where you are both happy with the decision xxx

so baby boy is 12.5 weeks now, he’s 14lbs (so I think his weight gain is starting to slow finally!) on the whole, his sleep is 10/10. We always get a long first stretch of over 7/8hours and we have had a few 11/12 hour nights! But sometimes he likes keeping me on my toes and will randomly wake and I’m like wtf is going on 😂 for example… he woke up for the day at 4.30am today 😂😂😂😂😂 but he had gone to bed at 7pm so I can’t even moan can I?

days he is harder work, he will only nap for 30 mins at a time rarely he will do 1 hour. So getting stuff done during the day is hard but he is happy and content with me most of the day, anyone else he is harder work for! He hates his car seat, not overly keen on his pram but super happy to be out and about if I am carrying him….. not in a carrier though. Has to me me just carrying him 😂 xxx

Hello!

I love your shouty capitals. We need them to rouse us with these babies!

That sounds like some amazing sleep he is doing - well done you and him!

Jamie is just behind him at 11.5 weeks. He's waking 1, 3, 5, 7 most nights. I'm still finding breastfeeding hard; currently pumping lots during the day and trying very hard to get him to breastfeed at least once too.

He is a massive chonk who's in 6-9 month clothing. I've not managed to get him weighed in a while but he's heavy!

I am super broody at the moment because he is so lovely. I keep wondering if I could make another one work, but realistically, I know I almost certainly can't. I keep wondering if this is an IVF thing? It's almost hard to believe you're done.

@SarahAndQuack I like keeping you all on your toes… will she shout at us today? Will she be normal??? Must be where baby boy gets it from 😂

well done for breast feeding for this long and pumping, pumping adds in so many extra jobs! So that’s amazing, what have you found hard? Has it been painful or supply or something else? We are still EBF, but my supply has regulated now and I had a wobble when that happened as I thought my boobs had finally ran out of milk 😂😂😂😂😂

wow that’s so big!!!! Baby boy is still in 0-3 mainly some 3-6 fits him and I thought he was a big boy!

I think it could be a IVF thing, we spend so long constantly thinking about having a baby, it’s hard to turn that off when you do actually have the baby I think?

it’s lovely to hear from you 🩷🩷 and I’m so glad you are doing well xxx