IVF Pregnancy Club - now IVF Baby Club!

[CloudyIvy55]

Hello again ladies!

The IVF Pregnancy Club thread was so helpful for me throughout my pregnancy — there’s nothing like the support of people who just get it. Now that our babies have started to arrive, I thought it would be nice to start a follow-on thread so we can keep chatting, sharing advice and supporting each other as we adjust to life with our little ones 🥰

@pastelheart I don't like bras either! I like breastfeeding vest tops with the inner 'bra' like section into which you can place breast pads. Then a shirt over the top! This is my go to!

Thanks @pastelheart, just catching up on this one, hope all’s going well for you

Thank you for nursing bra recs! I will go and have a look

just had a stretch and sweep, bets please if it’s going to do anything…

Hope everyone has been getting on okay? My little boy was 12 weeks old yesterday 🥹 gone so fast. My heart could still burst with love every time I look at him.

So pleased the heat has subsided a bit. I was super paranoid about him overheating, especially overnight but should be more comfortable tonight I hope.

Also just a quick recommendation for a let down suction milk collector (I have a medela one). I got it pre birth but then didn't use it as was in hospital for so long and just had forgotten all about it but came across it the other day and thought I would give it a go. It's pretty incredible - I get between 20-40ml each feed with 0 effort which really adds up over the course of a day. Such an easy way of building a little freezer stash. Quite annoyed at myself for not making use of @it sooner 🤣 I do have an amazing freezer stash as had to pump exclusively for weeks when baby was in NICU but I have cut out dairy/soy due to baby having a potential allergy so it's all bloody useless at the moment! I am using it in his bath though as apparently really good for their skin (and just so I feel a bit less salty about all that wasted milk!)

12 weeks already .. that’s gone too quick ! Oh what were the signs /symptoms of the dairy allergy in baby if you don’t mind me asking ? I didn’t even know that was a thing that baby can get an allergy to the dairy in mums body though breast milk? And the milk in bath is a great idea .. great tip ! 💛

@FancyGooseThanks for the recommendation! I hate the leaky boob situation, especially at night. I like to sleep with no bra on but then we both end up soaked by leaking breastmilk 🤦‍♀️😂

Baby is now 5 weeks and the main issue for us atm is super fussy evenings, where he wants to be on my boob constantly. Last night it went on from 8pm - 1am. I find it so frustrating and exhausting tbh. I enjoy feeding him in the day when I get a break inbetween but the constant feeding is brutal. Its not just feeding but hes unsettled, crying, arching his back, kicking and I've no idea if its reflux, a fast let down, trapped air, colic or normal cluster feeding/fussiness.

Apart from that, hes an absolute joy! The days are lovely!

@AmberRose26 it really has flown by! So our baby had blood in his stool a couple of times so a dr suggested it could be CMPA. He also has terrible reflux but that is common for babies who have had the surgery he had so hard to know whether that was allergy related or not. But I do feel that since cutting it out, he has improved massively with his reflux (although he does still have it and it could be a coincidence as reflux is meant to improve the bigger they get) and no further bloody stools. I cut out soy because I read that the proteins are very similar so if you are allergic to CMPA then it is common to be allergic to soy too. I should probably try giving him a bottle of expressed milk that was from before I cut it out to test whether he reacts as then we would know one way or another but I am putting it off!

@CloudyIvy55 the leaking breastmilk is the worst. It should calm down a bit once you are regulated to your baby - mine only leak every now and again now or if he has slept a particularly long stretch. That sounds tough with the cluster feeding - so hard when you can't get a break.

@FancyGoose sorry just noticed this reply .. I must of missed the notification.. ah that’s good the bloody stools have stopped and the reflux is easing ! Hopefully you found the issue , it’s fascinating that baby can get an allergy through our breastmilk I just never thought of that at all, ohh that’s a good idea using your pre expressed milk .. will be interesting to see if there is any difference as you say !! Good luck and hope your baby boy has a restful stomach from now on ✨💛

Hows everyone getting on? I decided my little ones fussiness is down to reflux so had a GP appt today and he agreed. Been prescribed some infant gaviscon to use when needed so I'm pleased we've got something to help as he's been very difficult to settle at times recently. I got zero sleep the night before last 🥴

Ok time for a very honest post as I am having a ROUGH day...

Baby is nearly 6 weeks old and I'm struggling. Its my first day alone without any help...my partner is working 6am - 9pm, my family is away and my friends are busy.

Baby has cried most of the night and most of today - I think I've had an hours sleep and I'm exhausted and tearful.

I dont think its colic - I think I'm just a bad mum and dont know what I'm doing. I think he's overtired and I'm trying everything to get him to sleep but its not working.

Through the long fertility journey and IVF I was desperate to be a Mum but now I'm wondering why I wanted this?

@CloudyIvy55you are not a bad mum! Never in a million years could that be true

being tired is the WORST. Will baby sleep on you? Or in a carrier? Will he fall asleep in the pram on a walk? In the car?

if you lived near me I would come and help you!

but don’t think you are a bad mum 🩵 xxx

@CloudyIvy55 oh I wish I was closer to you too as I remember feeling this exact way with my son and literally grieving for my previous, beautifully carefree life. But it was honestly down to the hormonal reshuffle and the chronic sleep deprivation. I thought everyone else was doing great and I was abnormal but everyone struggles. Sleep deprivation is literally torture and so hard to explain till you've endured it. What helped me was co-sleeping and sleeping when he napped but he honestly only napped in day when I relented and stuck a dummy in one day! Up till 6 months I mostly detested every moment and then suddenly he slept and I fell in love with him. Don't trust your feelings ATM as you're running on adrenaline. Have you had a breast feeding consultant help you at all? I had some help with latch. Do you have anyone who can do a 2 hour walk or sit with baby downstairs while you rest? Sending a big hug to you and honestly this is how it often is, it's why you don't have to really do anything else but it is brutal and everyday that you get through you're a bit closer to this stage ending. You are doing amazing.

You are definitely not a bad mum .. in fact quite the opposite .. it’s because you care so much that you feel you should be doing more or something different.. but you are doing everything just right and doing enough just by cuddling and being there for your baby while he works out the world around him .. could he be too hot/ cold - hungry / thirsty or tried ..trapped wind .. I always sang to my me girl when she was little to help soother her .. it can be so hard to understand why they are crying but you are doing everything just right. 💝

He's finally asleep on me...my head is pounding!!

Thank you so much for your replies and suggestions. I'm trying not to catastrophize and remind myself that I'm tired, hormonal and doing this alone today...but I'm also finding it all much tougher than I thought it would be. Not being able to comfort him is the worst!

4 more hours and my partner will be home...

Oh @CloudyIvy55 sending you virtual hugs!!

We have all been there, it’s the side of parenthood that people never talk about - it’s not all sunshine and roses!

I hope when hubby comes home you get to have some time just for you.

After a semi decent nights sleep we are off to a much better start this morning!

Thanks again for your replies yesterday, I really did find them comforting. A long day by yourself with a crying baby can feel very lonely and you helped me feel less alone.

@CloudyIvy55 glad he settled and you survived the day and I hope today is a better day 🩷 you have got this!

im off for my third sweep this morning, baby pastel heart is a naughty baby and has not been very kind to me this week 😂

I really thought I would be over in this group by now but alas we are just living in this babies world already xox

@pastelheart Wow third time lucky hopefully! You just be getting fed up now, I really hope this gets things moving for you! I still check the IVF pregnancy thread now and again and saw your comment about the baby gym toys...my partner is also a PT so we've also been gifted lots of baby gym toys 😂 and lots of football/world cup baby bits. Dad loves it! 😂

@CloudyIvy55 not third time lucky lol 😂 absolutely nothing has happened!

😂😂😂😂 yeah my partner is loving it too, and I’m like well you can keep those toys in your gym then… and take the baby with you 😂 have fun! X

I’m so so so happy for you mamas

Oh @pastelheartbaby must be so happy in there! Must be so frustrating for you though!

Had couple days monitoring in hospital as movement dropped a bit. All ok. He moved loads once there! Head is engaged and having tightenings but as we know this might mean it's imminent or absolutely nothing at all 🤔 just feel SO heavy...

Hope you are ok, @Sara237! I feel really heavy too, these last few days. I've had a couple of visits for monitoring - no admissions yet and sorry you had to have that. They do love to get moving once you're all strapped up to a monitor!

Not long now for either of us.

@SarahAndQuack I'm good thanks, no, not much longer at all. I saw all the new mums being wheeled onto the wards and kept thinking that'll be me soon! I also keep running to the loo which can also be a sign...this reminds me of ivf symptom spotting! Hope you're ok too x

Ooh, yes, definitely a sign! How exciting.

Yes, I'm doing ok, thanks - I don't think baby's going to make an appearance in a hurry, but I'm booked in for induction on the 18th and they'll do a section if that doesn't work, so one way or another there's an end date not too far off!