What age would you leave a child in a hotel room?

[TipsyBlueOtter]

If you're in the same building? I'm just talking about popping down for a drink in the hotel bar after he's asleep, say from 9-11pm. It's a small (posh!) boutique hotel about the same size as a large house. DS is 9 and sensible. We'd normally get an in-room babysitter for a couple of hours to sit in the corner while he was asleep and that was what I planned to do this time, but he thinks he's a bit old for that now so I wondered if I was being PFB for suggesting it? He's a good sleeper and unlikely to wake up once asleep. He doesn't have a phone but we could leave him one of ours and there is a landline in the room.

He could easily wake if he is in an unusual bed with other people making noise. Simple things like talking when passing the room, shutting a room door, having the TV on loud, or closing wardrobe doors are always much louder in a hotel room.

I personally think 9 is too young to be left alone in a strange room/building, especially when asleep.

I'm not sure I would. However if it's more the size of a large house then maybe that makes it different.

I think you will know when u arrive and where your room is etc. Also how ur child will react if they wake up and ur not there. It might make them anxious if u tell them and leave a phone behind.

I wouldn’t leave him asleep at only 9. He might wake up, because unfamiliar bed, strange noises and in a sleepy confusion panic a bit. But I would leave him awake, with a phone and watching a movie in bed and eating an ice cream from room service!

Agree with first poster ... if he's ok with an occasional later night, has plenty of things to occupy him (device and headphones, colouring , book) is it not an option (if the hotel policy allows) to have him with you? We used to do this with DD as I was terrified to leave her alone. She was never any trouble, actually enjoyed being allowed into an adults space and staff always made a fuss of her.

I quite miss this days now she's 16 and we're no longer cool enough

Actually good call ... I think if he's awake and happy doing this and you check in on him in person regularly and have tested phone reception is ok should he need to call I bet he'd love this solution!

Hope you enjoy your stay

Why can't he come down to the bar with you if it's a holiday?

Probably older than 9 Tbh and I am quite lax. Hotela are very transient places and you have no idea who is about.

Certainly not at 9. Maybe 12+ but tbh family holidays are family holidays.

What would he do if the fire alarm went off, or he broke a glass, or he woke up wondering where you'd gone?

It sounds like he is used to staying in a hotel room alone with a babysitter so I wouldn't have any problem leaving him alone as he is less likely to be confused when waking etc. If he wasn't familiar with hotels it would be different. Saying to him he doesn't need to sleep if he doesn't want and can watch tv etc until you come back is a good idea.

Thanks all. Of course he can come down to the bar as much as he wants, it's just he hates being awake after 8.30pm! He loves hotels and has stayed here before, and always slept like a log there, but not in this room. And I'd always tell him we were getting a sitter etc. I suppose I'm just weighing up what's worse if he does wake up, the awkwardness of having to chat to the babysitter, or calling/texting us to say come back to the room.

13/14

On holiday mine always fall asleep later than usual, you might find he's not asleep by 9pm. I'd go with the suggestion of taking him down to the bar and setting him up with some quiet entertainment.

I'd want him close, not just because of the highly unlikely event of someone entering the room but just because being somewhere unfamiliar can be disorientating.

Of course he'll be with us if he's awake as long as he can stay up, it's just for the bit when he's asleep. It's a UK countryside mini-break so no language barrier. I'm still on the side of getting a sitter but I think he's not too far off not needing one in this specific situation. Mind you, if there were lots more lockable/fire doors between us or a lift to another floor I wouldn't even be entertaining leaving him in the room as a possibility, I think it's just this particular set-up had me wondering. Maybe next year or the year after.

It's actually a dream of mine to be forced to spend an evening in a comfy hotel room alone with yummy room service, a good film and lights out by 10am

I'm actually quite jealous of him

We’ve done similar when DS was that age. We had a baby monitor app with sound and camera on our phones and made sure we were facing the only stairs/exit that DS could come down.

At 9 I left my youngest with her dsis two years older so 9&11, they had a mobile phone between them (eldest had a basic phone) so they could text us, they also knew exactly where we were. Both pretty savvy to be honest, that was the first holiday I left them at all. By 2 years later when we next went abroad they had their own room most of the time, not all were interconnecting either

I was left alone in a hotel room aged 7 and I still remember being so scared. We had arrived off a long-haul flight and I was encouraged to have a nap, when I woke up DP’s were gone. I think they had gone to the bar, I don’t remember now, but I was made to feel pathetic for being so scared (and it was in a foreign country). Maybe it was because it was the early 80s when it was common for parents to be neglectful by today’s standards.

So, it’s validating to see that posters think 9 is too young even these days. I have a 10yo and wouldn’t leave him alone either.

For me it would depend if he was happy about being alone. I wouldn't just go and hope he didn't wake up. If he knew you were going to go, was happy to watch a film or sleep and know how to call you if he needed I think it's fine, depending on layout of course.

That would be so scary as a kid

16

Same age I would leave them home while I went out at that time.

10am! An all nighter then 🤣

Honestly, not at any age (I mean maybe like 15!). No drink is worth the risks. I’d get an Airbnb or suite or something with a dining space and have a drink in the room. Or I’d bring a 9 year old with me and they could have an appletizer. That said, at 9 none of mine would have been asleep by 9pm on holiday. It’s usually much later and I’m ready for sleep too.

In a very small hotel I can't see the problem with this. It's not far off sitting in the lounge in a B&B whilst you child is asleep in the room. In a larger hotel with a lot of floors I wouldn't leave him just yet. Make sure he knows what to do if the fire alarm goes off (fairly unlikely) and how to use the phone to call you. I wouldn't let him eat alone in the room but make sure he can get himself a drink.

I wouldn’t at all. What if there were a fire? I’d have an early dinner and take a glass of wine up to the room. We get adjoining rooms so dc can be asleep with the lights out if they want to.