What age would you leave a child in a hotel room?

[TipsyBlueOtter]

If you're in the same building? I'm just talking about popping down for a drink in the hotel bar after he's asleep, say from 9-11pm. It's a small (posh!) boutique hotel about the same size as a large house. DS is 9 and sensible. We'd normally get an in-room babysitter for a couple of hours to sit in the corner while he was asleep and that was what I planned to do this time, but he thinks he's a bit old for that now so I wondered if I was being PFB for suggesting it? He's a good sleeper and unlikely to wake up once asleep. He doesn't have a phone but we could leave him one of ours and there is a landline in the room.

We recently let ds go up to our room after dinner rather than sit down with us on a couple of the evenings. He’s 11 and just got a phone (going to secondary in august) and it was in a hotel we were in for a week so he knew the layout and was familiar with how the key and door works.

@MarioLink Yes it's more this sort of vibe. A "restaurant with rooms" - converted farmhouse, he's been there before, we'd be downstairs, he'd be upstairs.

I still think he might be a bit too young but I think he's borderline. I think they have a suite with a separate living room so might splash out on that instead.

It only came up because DS asked to be left alone. It is embarrassing to have a babysitter because he is "not a baby" etc. (Obviously it is still non-negotiable that he gets a babysitter in the event we go out-out to a different building to the one he is sleeping in, and will be so for a few years yet!)

@museumum that sounds sensible!

I would leave my 9yo son if it were a small hotel. But I'd definitely leave a phone with him and id tell him we were going so that he'd know why we were gone if he woke up and he could ring us if needed.

I wouldn't want unfamiliar stairs between me and my kids - I have 12/8 year olds. We are recently contemplating leaving them home alone for an evening at home for a friend's 50th. Am a bit uneasy but we know every one of our neighbours and will only be about 6 blocks away - and we'd come home before they went to bed as I think being asleep in a house alone isn't right yet. Hotels though are a whole new thing and I wouldn't do that yet - but mine wouldn't want to be left anyway!

I wouldn’t, and not because I’m worried my 9 yo wouldn’t be sensible, but because I don’t know who else has access to the room. Small or big hotel, yep, I can see the parents getting drinks, kid must be upstairs alone. Absolutely no way in hell would I risk that.

I’d do this in a small hotel that he knows with only one exit. With strict rules about not opening the door and watching age appropriate tv. We have walkie talkies which we’d leave with them or would leave a phone/ipad they could FaceTime us on if there was a problem.

Have you forgot about Madeleine McCann?

Honestly how people can contemplate doing this with a shall child is beyond me! For the sake of what? A drink? Utter madness.

Madeleine McCann was left in a different building on the opposite side of the street, and the doors to her apartment were unlocked. My question was about sitting downstairs in the same building, a converted farmhouse, with one staircase and exit. It's not for everyone - hell, it's not even for me! - but ffs of course it's not the same.

I couldn’t, what if there’s a fire and you can’t get back to the room. Unlikely but you never know. At least early teens they have a bit more savvy about them that they would leave if they heard a fire alarm. Would a 9 year old? Or would they panic ? You are the parent you would know your child best. I couldn’t though but I am a worst case kinda gal

It's a firm no from me

18
Seriously I would never leave my child in a hotel room alone. They could wake, get scared, hurt themselves, open the door to random knocking, fall out balconies etc. Shudder

This really surprised me.

DH and I went away for 2 nights over half term for our wedding anniversary to a small hotel in UK. Half thought of leaving 15 year old at home but decided against it. Booked 2 rooms in hotel. 15 year old had own room. Hardly saw them for the 2 days. Loved being in room watching TV and ordering room service. Much phone contact of course.

In answer to OP-probably not at 9. Maybe secondary school age, as long as they were comfortable on their own for an hour or 2.

In the set up you've described, I think I would be okay with it in a year or two. He's familiar with the hotel, knows he'll be alone if he wakes up and if he's like my 5 year old, is perfectly capable of using a mobile phone. I'd probably pop back to check. It wouldn't be the same in a massive hotel obviously but I would judge the risk here to be pretty minimal.

I don't think I would unless they were responsible teenagers, say 15 plus and my main reason for this would be concern over fire. Would they be able to escape safely should a fire break out. If it were a ground floor room I might be a bit more relaxed.

In that case probably absolutely fine at 9. Sounds like more of a b&b than a proper hotel though....

I wouldn't say 9, even in a small hotel. I think it would have to be more like 12.

Why are you asking? For validation of what seems to be a decision you’ve more or less made.

No not at all. If there is just one stranger around it's a firm no. You have no idea of who could have access to any key to your room. I just don't trust anyone. Having kids for me is that sacrifice of doing things like this, having a drink at a hotel bar etc...and it means just having to wait until they are much older, at least mid teens. 9 is still too young.

I think we started doing it from the summer after DC1 was in secondary. So they were 12 and nearly 9.

Also we don’t do this in hotels but don’t see any difference. It is in self catering accommodation and the children don’t want to go to the supermarket. We don’t leave them in hotels as don’t see a need.

Why can't you order some drinks to your room? I have a 9yo and this it would be very irresponsible to do so all for the sake of drinking.

There’s a big difference between a 3 year old and a 9 year old…

We have left DD on recent years but she's 14 !
She wouldn't have wanted us to until about 13 tbh as children get easily scared
It's also not safe you shouldn't expect a 9 year old to maintain their own safety that's your job
Order some drinks to your room if you have to drink

Just started leaving DS and he’s 14

The risk here is fire - I wouldn't leave mine at 9, 15 feels more sensible.