Constipation/witholding

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hi all my daughter is 3.5 been a extremely picky eater and drinker forever always had hard poos was given lactouloose for brief period last year.
last week end was awfull she was in.agony doctors gave her laxative again 3 days later up the dose next day did pass very soft and diarrhea after a A&E visit gave her steriod cream as she was red raw and was hysterical when i went anywhere near her.. Wednesday was better were mow on.sunday no poo and for the last 4 days have noticed she clenches her bum checks and crosses her feet so.the doctor has reluctantly refered for constipation pedestrics she literally screams.when she holds and then just ruunny slimmy in.her nappy she isnt potty trained this has all.steamed.from.last weekend so now 111 have given me.movicol but is there a hard poo to.come or is she holding anything she is angry upset laying around if i go out she stops and screams and clenches im emotionally drained does this sound right ive tried saying it womt hurt if u poo watched videos books i dont know to.do thank you for any help

As pp said, please look at the ERIC website. They have free help line.
The best video I have seen is on the Poo Nurse's website.
Both easily found via google.

We had the same, tried glycerine suppositories and movicol etc. Dd was like it for months when she was a toddler. When she started to clench, we started to hold her up in a squatting shape over some newspaper or potty (like you do when they're doing a wee on a walk for example) Each time, she was unable to withhold and it made it easy for her to poop. within a week or so, it was solved. Not saying this will work for you but it definitely did work for her and we then had no need to depend on the other stuff.

thank you did you find that your little.omes withhold in thete sleep also can watch her doing it now while shes asleep, she sounds like shes in pain for a few seconds then gone i just dont understand with all this diarrhea why is she still witholding like its agony

Same, here. It was like she was in agony and it took us a while to realise st first that she was withholding. It was only after several months of emotional trauma that we started holding her up and it just seemed to work.

Just wanted to say I really feel for you as this was my life when DD was 3. It was horrendous and I felt like everything smelt of poo. We ended up using a lot of movicol. Lots of sitting on potty or toilet and a DR Ranj video about how important having a poo is.

Even now the sound of her having a poo I smile and think we thought we'd we'd never get there 🫤
Good luck. It is heartbreaking

I’d also recommend ERIC resources and your local bowel/ bladder nurse team for kids.
my son did this from about 3-7 yrs old and can sometimes go back to withholding if a change of routine. In his case ( and the nurses said it can be quite common) kids can only really control 2 things: what goes in and what comes out. So in that way, I think it may have started with a big poo that hurt him but actually it became about control.
it was a really difficult time and you have my sympathy. For us we were told just to keep all reactions neutral which is so hard when you just want them to go. One thing they did say which stuck with me is they all tend to grow out of it- which bit by bit he has done.
best of luck OP

we watched that video yesterday just wish the diarrhea would stop its non stop just cant believe one bad weekend of constipation has lead to this do you know if any creams that can sooth the actual anus

hi all went to a & e today as.id had enough they xrayed and is full to the brim with poo doctor said could of been months building up so contine with 4 sachets as her bum.is too raw to do a suppository has anyone had this and theve been ok going too loo after?

It is going to take months of following a proper disimpaction regimen. You need professional monitoring and support, either from ERIC, The Poo Nurses, or your local continence nurses. Has your gp referred you?
The bowel takes a long time to recover once cleared and it is vital to continue the programme.

Gp refered me last week and the doctor who discharged me said she will call me next week she is in agony with rash from all the poo the hospital have give me a barrier cream and she was screaming so much ive had to.wash it off as soon as out bath there is poo just pouring out i dont know how in going to control the cracked skin with poo constantly all over it

The poo will keep pouring out until all the solid blockage is cleared.
Use loads of barrier cream and plain warm water to gently clean the poo off. No scented wipes or anything. She has no control over the overflow, so it will be constant. Keep going with the movicol. Dont be tempted to stop.

thank you just so hard if the rash was uncontrol wouldn't be as awful

If she can't tolerate the cream, Vaseline has always worked great for us. It doesn't absorb into the skin and acts as a really effective barrier to moisture and further irritation. We also use it for constipation to help ease anything really solid out.

Hi OP, have you tried metanium ointment (the yellow one) on the soreness/rash? You can then apply vaseline over the top of it as well.

Do persevere, we had to disimpact my then 4.5 year old in the end as was constipated and withholding. For him though, a key sign was pooing in his pants just after falling asleep - we were told kids can't withhold in their sleep so as soon as they fall asleep, they relax and it comes out.

We had to go up to 8 sachets of laxido a day for a few days then everything cleared out with a bang! As pp have said, the Eric website+helpline and the poo nurses video on YouTube are fab. We found GPs not so knowledgeable but got a paediatric continence nurse referral in the end.

thank you it has slowed today but probably my fault for not giving any sachets yesterday as was worried doing soggy like cow pat again now (sorry) and had 3 pouches today i dont know.if slowed as.less.to come.or not xray showed half full colon and bowel so domt know how long will.take to clear

Op, you are not understanding the problem.
Your dd has massive impaction with overflow. Her colon is stretched and is not functioning.
You must persevere with disimpaction or there is going to be permanent damage.
Sorry to be blunt, but you need to tackle this.
If you stop/ start with the movicol you will prolong the situation.
It has taken months to get to this stage, it will take at least twice as long to fix it.
It will be much better if you can sort it before she goes to school, when it will become much more difficult.
Watch the poo nurses video again. It explains the issue very well.

yes thank you.for.reply i stopped as had no information given.to me and new nothing about this at all i thought with the amount coning out she could he seriously ill or too much laxiodo i had been told nothing at all she has had her prescribed 4 sachets and is currenly pooping alot of paste if the gps had explained to me to keep her on this or what woulf happend i wouldnt of stopped at all.

the stretched colon can be reversed? she used to poo fine but slightly too hard and big in my opinion due to how picky a eater she is!

also why does it take months to fix what do you by that please

The general advice from experts about impaction with overflow is that it takes at least twice as long to fix as the problem has existed. So if the doctor told you that there is likely to be months worth of impaction build up, it will take double the number of months to treat it and retrain the bowel.
Childhood constipation and soiling (thepoonurses.uk) #
Have you watched the poo nurses video?

This is what you posted about what the doctor said.

yes she said half was.full.could.of been weeks months i just find it confusing as of 2.weeks ago she would pass poo fine

The Xray is the best diagnostic test for impaction. It is possible that you thought she was pooing ok, but the impaction was building up anyway.
You need to get her diet sorted because it could be a cause or an effect of the problem.
Keep a food and stool diary and consider intolerances.
The Poo Nurses website has a downloadable stool chart that is very helpful.

thank you yes have kept a diary for a month or.two now for food as because shes happy not losing weight no.issue apprently but she will not eat anything new try anything its a nightmare she likes organix porridge / toast bananas cheese yogurts and not alot else no pasta potatos rice i try everyday
give her the vege drops from holland and Barrett but maybe now have a referral to pediatrics someone might help no one.can force her to.eat but maybe more vitamins i dont know no one helps.

I have a child with chronic constipation and withholding. At the stage you are describing, improving her diet may help but won't sort it. Once she has cleared the impaction (you need watery poo to know this has happened), She needs to be on Laxido/movicol long term and have enough to keep her pooing daily. My son has been on it since 1 year old and is now nearly 8. He has 3 per day which is relatively high (although at one stage it was 5 or 6!). His poos are very soft like toothpaste but it is far preferable to the constipation. Most GPs and non specialised paediatric doctors will try to get you off the meds. Don't listen. Get into a routine of giving it daily. It does no harm I promise. There is a book - constipation, withholding and your child by Dr Cohn which is excellent, my son was a patient of his for several years.