How can she chose to feed her kids this rubbish!

[Livjames1]

Hi this is regarding my SiL. She is a single parent to five children (who is in no way struggling financially) and she chooses to feed them processed junk at every meal and it's really starting to grind on me.

I myself have three children, including one who's autistic and is a fussy eater yet I still manage to provide them a healthy balanced diet. My SiL feeds her kids processed chicken nuggets, pizza and chips, meatballs out of a can, chicken curry out of a can and ready meals from supermarkets basics range! She does this purely out of laziness as she Just can't be arsed to cook and I can't help feel that she's out of order for letting her children eat these types of foods on a regular basis!

She often comes to my house after school when I'm serving up tea for my three, I will ofcourse offer to serve up some for her kids too but she refuses point blank saying that they will not eat it, and on a few occasions has told me that she doesn't understand how any child will happily eat these kinds of foods and that children shouldn't be "forced" to eat healthy foods if they don't want to, oh and that her kids have survived without vegetables and fruit and it "hasn't done them any harm".

I just can't believe her, she is having digs at me for actually feeding my children a healthy diet yet refuses to see how harmful her own children's diets are. She more or less accuses me of forcing healthy food down my children's necks and instead I should just allow them to help themselves to "goodies" whenever they like, she seriously is starting to piss me off, rant over!

Does she eat that rubbish too?

Don't let it get to you. It is her ignorance and nothing you say or do will change her at this stage.

Her poor children.

Yeah she does. Amazingly neither her or any of her children are over weight, in fact they're really skinny. Her youngest three children are really small in height and look tiny compared to other children their age. Oh and recently she commented to my MiL (when she didn't realise I was behind her) that she thought my 9 year old son was overweight! My 9 year old is 4stones 4lb, very tall for his age and is very sporty and muscly, so understandably I was furious, I felt like saying you know what at least my children are fed properly, and after all i'd rather have a child that was slightly portly and fed a balanced diet than one who were too short/thin for their age and who exists on pizza and chips but I managed to resist!

Its nothing to be proud of having a child small in height and underweight.

Its a huge sign a child is malnourished

A single parent to five children?

No wonder she can't be fucked to cook - I know I wouldn't, I'd be bloody knackered.

Yes, she's wrong about your kids diet and her children are not fed properly.

But you can feed your kids properly without really cooking.

Do you have to see her?

Plenty of people feed their kids rubbish; plenty of people eat rubbish. Tis the way of the world. But you don't have to put up with her passing judgement on your choices providing you don't on hers.

I think she thinks it is though. I mean I know children can be naturally small without being at all malnourished but my SiL is tall and so are the children's fathers. My just turned four year old daughter is the same height as her seven year old son and only about 9/10 inches shorter then her almost 9 year old daughter, and neither me or my dh are tall. Yet she makes me feel that my children are fat simply for eating a healthu diet and for 9 times out of 10 clearing their plates.

Yes I have to see her, and to be fair my nieces and nephews are great so I love them being in my life, I just can't always tolerate my SiL. And I'm sorry but so what if she is a single parent to five, I know I have a husband but my husband works long shifts sometimes six days a week plus I have three children in three different schools, including my youngest who's autistic and has a whole range of complex issues, yet I still manage to make a decent meal.

Is the issue what she feeds the children, or her judgement on what you do?

Because you know, I understand we all need to sound off, but you sound absolutely insufferable.

The issue is both really. She feeds her children utter crap, which in itself is really bad but then has the nerve to pass judgement on me, when I can hand in hand on heart say I do my absolute best to provide my kids a good diet, I can't see how that makes me insufferable to be honest.

Well done you, OP.

You are a bloody saint.

Well arn't you great op, big pat on the back and a gold star for you and a boo hiss for your lazy sil, what a wicked wanton woman.

Providing your children with a good diet is not what makes you sound insufferable, as I suspect you know.

It is your faux-horror at what your SIL feeds hers, complete with the tutting and the statements that your life is at least as hard but you manage to cook.

People do things differently. Her 'failure' does not equate to your success. I know people who eat a diet and have their DC eat a diet that I think is revolting, but why really would I care?

If you are genuinely concerned re the children's health, you need to say something, but I would suggest you do so far more gently than you have done here.

Do you know what I expected this, i can't say things how they really are without being jumped on and being accused of being super mum. I am in no way super mum, I make mistakes like everyone else, I shout front time to time and I sometimes too give in for an easy life. I just realise the importance of providing my children with a healthy diet.

I was an over weight child myself as my parents never said no, and would allow me to help myself whenever I felt like it. Thankfully I taught myself healthy habits as I grew up an managed to grow into a healthy weight. I would never want my children to be overweight OR live on a diet consisting of chicken nuggets and pizza that would almost inevitably lead to them being over weight adults, I just couldn't live with myself, clearly my SiL doesn't share the same concerns.

Okay - so start a thread saying what you feed your children. Say you are proud you feed them well. That's a legitimate thing to be proud of.

You don't need to sneer at someone else's choices to be proud of your own.

But that's not what I'm doing, to say I'm proud of what I feed my kids is actually, a bit weird, and I'd never even think of it like that never mind say it, it's just the natural way we do things in our house. I realise people are different but surely when it's your children's health and wellbeing at stake shouldn't we all try and give them a decent diet?

Well said GobblersKnob

Maybe she doesn't know how to cook or isn't confident at it.
I remember spending ages cooking lovely healthy meals for my children, only for them to end up in the bin. It can be a bit disheartening.

Oh FFS you would ALL judge this woman in RL and you know it. Chicken curry in a can IS shit food. Get off the bloody 'musn't judge' bandwagon.

Yes, she's probably got a difficult life. Yes, most of us resort to chicken nuggets and chips occasionally. No, it's not OK to feed your kids shit all the time. It's OK to say that.

It doesn't matter what tone the OP is using here. It's an anonymous internet forum.

Argh.

I don't think I would judge her to be honest! Perhaps I'm selfish but I can't imagine giving a toss

No I wouldn't give a toss either, But then I don't get off on slagging other peoples parenting off on an internet forum so I can get a pat on the back for doing it right.

I agree tbh.

Nobody has to feed constant crap to kids because of lack of time. Some basic grilled chicken with chunks of cheese/ chopped cucumber etc would be far healthier that most of what you get pre made out of a tin. Eating a banana rather than penguin bar takes no more prep

We pre prep many things and freeze for convenience because we aren't home until gone 7pm and everyone still needs to eat

Presumably with 5 children some must be old enough to help with basic food prep sometimes also

I havent eaten a piece of fruit since i was a toddler. I rare vegetable passes my lips maybe once every few months, and only since my mid teens, before that never. Most of the food i eat is bland and 'yellow' either micro meals or jars. I eat shite, always have done. I am fine, never been admitted to hospital other than to deliver my two perfectly healthy, babies. I dont suffer from any illnesses, i am rarely sick with colds or bugs, i have no conditions or weight problems. I am not tired or lethargic. I am a single parent and manage to raise my two dcs, work and study, maintain my home and have a social life without eating healthily.

You really need to MYOB about what other people eat and feed their DC. Odds are- they'll be perfectly find. The human race has survived for quite a few years now on not so great diets. Many around the world still do. Get over it. Its not the big deal you are making it out to be.

Chicken curry in a can is bloody lovely, it's up there with a Frey Bentos pie.

But do you feed your children the same sort diet you have Surlycue?

But do you feed your children the same sort diet you have Surlycue?

How is that a) any of your business b) relevant to whether your nieces and nephews will be fine and c) going to help you with your sister in law?

I'm just interested that's all. I know of people who have shocking diets themselves but who will cook nothing but healthy fresh food for their own children.