How can she chose to feed her kids this rubbish!

[Livjames1]

Hi this is regarding my SiL. She is a single parent to five children (who is in no way struggling financially) and she chooses to feed them processed junk at every meal and it's really starting to grind on me.

I myself have three children, including one who's autistic and is a fussy eater yet I still manage to provide them a healthy balanced diet. My SiL feeds her kids processed chicken nuggets, pizza and chips, meatballs out of a can, chicken curry out of a can and ready meals from supermarkets basics range! She does this purely out of laziness as she Just can't be arsed to cook and I can't help feel that she's out of order for letting her children eat these types of foods on a regular basis!

She often comes to my house after school when I'm serving up tea for my three, I will ofcourse offer to serve up some for her kids too but she refuses point blank saying that they will not eat it, and on a few occasions has told me that she doesn't understand how any child will happily eat these kinds of foods and that children shouldn't be "forced" to eat healthy foods if they don't want to, oh and that her kids have survived without vegetables and fruit and it "hasn't done them any harm".

I just can't believe her, she is having digs at me for actually feeding my children a healthy diet yet refuses to see how harmful her own children's diets are. She more or less accuses me of forcing healthy food down my children's necks and instead I should just allow them to help themselves to "goodies" whenever they like, she seriously is starting to piss me off, rant over!

Surly - surely you aren't that old though? ( assuming your children aren't grown up yet), so how can you tell your diet hasn't affected you? You could turn 50/60 and find your bones are actually far weeker/ heart less stronger than it would have been

There's nothing wrong with chicken nuggets but not every night. And it must cost her a fortune with all the tins of stuff.

I'd suggest feeding her kids a home made curry or home made nuggets but I have a feeling you've tried and been rebuffed.

I know someone the same, kids eat very limited diet, rarely have fruit or veg and takeaways are a staple part of the diet not a treat once a month. There's nothing you can do but it is frustrating.

My oldest (now 16) used to eat everything but is now so picky it drives me crazy. She will eat salad so grateful she gets something decent in her at times. And she will cook chilli and curry from scratch. 9 year old is a walking food disposal unit. Her favourite food is brocolli.

OP, you sound so terribly 'holier than thou' and your curled lip disdain for your SIL is so evident than she must have noticed and I expect that this is what prompted any comments she has made about your cuisine.

She's feeding and clothing 5 DC, she may not be producing restaurant quality food but there's hot food on the table for all which is more than some get. Be nice it won't kill you.

Don't rise to it. Let it go over your head. She is making digs to make herself feel better as she knows she feeds them crap.

It's however not really your business and you are judging just as she does.

Sleep easy and let it go.

so how can you tell your diet hasn't affected you?

I cant- just like someone standing next to me in the line at asda cant tell that their trolley full of veg has affected them. They just hope. I know plenty of people who eat really well who have all sorts of health problems.

You could turn 50/60 and find your bones are actually far weeker/ heart less stronger than it would have been

really? Youre telling me that should i present with weak bones/heart aged 60 a doctor will tell me (with absoloute certainty) that had i eaten carrots and apples i wouldnt have had that problem? If so that doctor would probably be far more expensive than i could afford. An ability like that is worth a clean fortune.

The rudeness to you is unreasonable.

The minging food isn't really something you can do much about except know that you do differently. It isn't ideal by any means but she's feeding them and as PP have said a single mum of 5 might be "time poor" if not cash poor.
It's not the best parenting in the world but I'm not sure without being a hcp who can see them we can say malnutrition really.

Your SIL could be feeding them organic home cooked food and you would still dislike her.

OP your judgy pants must be so far up your arse you can floss with them. Just feed your kids and let her feed her kids.

pride in eating crap. That's a first in my experience.

the human organism can survive on all sorts of rubbish which is why there are six billion of us. Doesn't mean it is an intelligent choice. The processed stuff has plenty of calories and there will be some nutrition in it, so no-one will starve. Getting deficiency diseases in the UK takes some doing.

terrible shame when we are in a country with plenty of decent food, at not too much cost and easy to prepare with a little knowledge, but there you go.

Do you really have nothing else to worry about OP?

Your judgey pants are pulled up so high they're stuck in your arse

How old are her kids? Your SIL may be tall now, but was she tall as a child?

My DD is tiny. She's 2.5 and still in 18-24 month clothes. She is not malnourished. DH and I are tall (6' and 5'10") but we were both on the small side as children.

How healthy are her children other than their size? How's their skin and hair? Are they energetic? Their diet doesn't sound brilliant, but it's a bit of a leap to speculate that they are malnourished.

Erm, why on earth would I Soupdragon?

Because you don't like her.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's times like this when we really need a nice shiny gold medal emoticon.

OP you sound like a judgemental PITA. Please do tell your SIL how you feel so she can keep out of your way.

Typical mumsnet professionally offended people. Get the fuck off your high horses. You would all judge this sil in RL. Nobody has an excuse apart from being insanely poor to feed their children shite all the time. OP ignore and carry on what you're doing at home with your own, sounds like you're doing a great job and are entitled to a rant now and then. Your sil needs a reality check however.

Im in no doubt that every single choice you make is of course an intelligent one special but for us mere humans not scoring an A* in everything is fine. I do pretty well in most other aspects of my life so im not going to beat myself up because im lazy with food. Im at peace with my choices, luckily i dont need you to be.

I most certainly would NOT judge her Foxy. Because you see I AM that SIL. My dc eat a very restricted diet AND they don't like eating anything much that hasn't been made by ME. So I quite often have to say "don't bother, they won't eat it" when visiting people. There's a good reason for it that I don't choose to share with most people. Luckily though I have the hide of a rhino and care not a jot what anyone thinks, either here or in RL.

Hoik your judges pants up a bit further and you'll not be able to see what she's feeding her kids.

Stick to you and yours, as long as she's not force feeding your kids tinned meatballs, you've no need to worry about this.

MrsFrumble YY now I'm paranoid too. My dd is small as my family make titchy kids who shoot up as teens plus I was on meds when pregnant (meds to keep dd alive in utero ... better short than dead, frankly). I don't tell everyone this - in my case people would see me being quite a "London trendy yoga and educational" stereotype and I guess think ok she's just small.
But I wonder if parents who don't fit in that box might be judged for their small kids (and indeed who is to say I wasn't feeding my dd off tins at home just because it's all sensory play and libraries in public?? Btw I don't).

Err, I think you might be on your high horse Foxy.

So I don't like my SiL simply because she chooses to feed her children differently to how I feed my own....are you serious? I may not like the way she does things but that does not mean I don't like her.

Fistbump nickyFury.

The only people on this thread on high horses are the people who are sharing the OP's faux concern.

Really, worry about the kids without enough to eat. God knows there are plenty of those

I never know what the OP is expecting on threads like these.

I have a 10 yo niece who has never once, never ever, eaten a vegetable other than potato crisps, McDonalds chips and processed potato shapes. Not even baked beans. The only fruit she has ever eaten is applesauce in those toddler-squeezy things and raisins. There are roughly 20 other foods that she will tolerate (plain pasta, cheese, burger patties, white bread, fish fingers, chicken nuggets...). It is almost a sort of eating disorder. Her mother is the same - will not eat 'fancy' chicken nuggets made of real chicken breast, only the processed kind- and DB is too lazy and feckless to intervene. DB, SiL and two of their parents are diabetic, three grandparents had heart disease that showed up in their late 50s/ early 60s.

I judge. Oh yes I do. DN is on the motorway expresslane to Type 2, and it makes me angry and depressed.

So I don't like my SiL simply because she chooses to feed her children differently to how I feed my own....are you serious? I may not like the way she does things but that does not mean I don't like her.

I remember another thread of yours about your SIL.