everyone always says it gets easier and i was hanging on to that fact for dear life..

[nailpolish]

but people have started telling me it gets worse

or "the problems dont get any easier they just change"

if this is my life for the rest of it im a dead woman by 40

i have a 3 yr old and a 14 mth old, any one else the same/have the same gap???

I am finding dd much easier now she is 3 if that is any consolation

but my dd1 is 3 and shes turning into a nightmare - extremely defiant

NP, you sound as if you're where I was this time last year when DD1 was coming up for three and DD2 was coming up for 18 months. I was lucky because a couple of fabulous parents further down the line - Tamum take a bow - reassured me that since the kids didn't have special needs, yes it would get easier...

...and guess what? I am finding life much easier now. DD1 is in school and loves it, DD2 is talking and cuddly and either delightful or appalling but still pretty lovely. Hang on.

she is worse when dd2 is around - an angel when dd2 is asleep

thanks MI

I am the same as you, 3 years and a nearly 16 month.

Yes some days are hell, but others are lovely and I am glad I have the close age gap.

The main problem I have is trying to do something that will entertain them both without a) dd1 being bored or b) dd2 destroying what we are doing, creating c) complete fighting.

Dd1 has got a bit more arsey since playgroup, bad influences!

Mine are slightly closer in age, (now 5 &6), but yes it is miles easier now. I think the people who tell you it gets harder have probably just forgotten what it's really like looking after two toddlers!

I can believe that the problems change, and the worrying about teenage problems will be hard, but in such a different way. I try not to think that far ahead, and just take each day as it comes.

yes, olive, i find that too, i cant take dd1 swimming any more or things like that cos its just too difficult, etc

Yes teenage problems are different, but you can go and lie in the bath and lock the door. And stay in the bathroom until you are dressed and dry.

It's not all roses round the door, but life is full of ups and downs with or without children. IMO you need to enjoy your children as much as possible, even the ones that are little b*ggers because before you know it they're all grown up

lmb, thanks, im trying my best

mine are just 4 and just 2 and definitely getting easier at dealing with together - because ds2 is getting more verbal and generally more capable I think.
ds1 is in some ways becoming more challenging (!) but I am finding this offset by the huge developmental changes that seem to be going on -loads and loads more imaginative play, he's suddenly got into sitting and drawing quietly for ages, etc etc
Might be a different scenario with two boys though!

but I do find it hard to think of ways to entertain them both without mayhem ensuing when we are home alone.
I've never taken both swimming without 2 adults - but I think in the next 6 months or so this might become possible.
I always find it easier just to bail out and go to the park.

My children are 11, 6 and 8 -there's a gap of 20 months between the second and third. I wouldn't say I had no problems, but life has certainly got easier for me. After a while they go to school (unless you home-educate, but that's self-inflicted) which gives you some time off. The problems also become more interesting - for instance, you worry about how to help them to do well at school instead of spending your time mopping up messes.

I have a 7(nearly 8) and a 3 year old (nearly 4) and they do change and in some ways it gets easier and other ways it gets harder. The problems change is all. I also find that one is angelic for a while the other one has horns and they hand the banton over occassionally.

The other thing to remember your 3 year old with be a nursery more soon and then at school so the time you actually spend with them both together will get smaller. Its a blessing in some ways but worries you in others.

I can confirm it does get better

when they leave home

they can still be a pain in the neck though

dd1 gets annoyed when she is trying to draw etc at her little table and dd2 runs over and grabs the crayons. so she just gives up!

yes I can relate to that. I only do crafty/drawing things at our dining table, and I sit one ds at each side so they can't reach each other It used to be really hard to do anything like that with them both but ds2 is just starting to be able to concentrate a bit more on his own things.

NP I had a problem with dd when she was 2-3, I was cursing and saying "who'd have girls" (also have 2 boys) but now she is 4 and at school like MI's dd and totally wonderful.
What I'm saying is, everything is a phase and will pass. DD was a tantrum queen. Now ds2 is 2.5 he's asserting his independence as well but I know it will be fine....
take heart

hmm, i could try it at the kitchen table, and put dd2 in her high chair...

in january dd1 starts at the playgroup 5 sessions a week

hurrah!

Dd1 has started copying me and saying 'fergeddaboutit' at dd2 all the time when she is trying to eat playdoh/crayons/dolls etc etc.

olive, if your dd2 is naughty (like in this house grabs the window blinds and yanks hard) does your dd1 say "i dont do that im a big girl mummy" and wiggles her hips and smirks all chuffed, that shes telling on dd2

makes me larf

YES! She snitches all the time and acts like she has been shot if dd2 pats her face.

They hate each other! Well dd1 hates dd2, always fighting.

Sigh.