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Original poster

INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

999 replies

NorksAreMessy · 24/11/2012 23:04

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

OP posts:
Original poster
NorksAreMessy · 21/08/2013 17:34

:o

OP posts:
Doha · 21/08/2013 18:11

I have a cocker spaniel as a guard dog ( he is very timid and runs a mile when approached by strangers Hmm but l sort of feel safe when he is with me.
I am not really been nervous when out alone but l must admit when it's dark l start to imagine the lampposts are aliens (think was of the worlds) and that any lights in the sky are UFO's and l freak myself out a bit.
I just had a horrific day where l had to go to a training day with 100 other people that l just didn't want to be with (except one and she is lovely). Glad it's over and it's back to work in isolation tomorrow.

Original poster
NorksAreMessy · 21/08/2013 20:34

ah, but you are home now, doha

I have been making jewellery all day with lovely people, but 135 individual items is quite a lot in five hours. I am a tiny bit knackered. I just need to retreat and regroup and look at the cows in the field and the sunset.

OP posts:
Doha · 21/08/2013 21:49

The moon is just beautiful tonight but these bloody midges !!!! Hmm

What kind of jewellery do you make Norks? [nosey emotion]

failingatlife · 22/08/2013 19:32

Hi peeps alright to come in, I'm very quiet Grin Think i'm an introvert, certainly a shy, quiet sort anyway. Not got many friends & don't feel the need to be constantly socialising. DH is much the same although he is way more confident & able to deal with people than me but is defo a loner who likes a lot of alone time, suits me fine Grin

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 22/08/2013 22:15

Hi failingatlife, (hushed tones) welcome to the quiet cornerSmile

I have had a challenging day: nothing serious just major sensory overload and it leaves me exhausted. The boys have been wild - lovely but noisy and excited and rowdy and seem to have been talking over each other all day. At one point this morning, they were watching tv in the kitchen but chattering over that and at the same time DH was next to me watching a video on his phone and the washer was on and the kettle was boiling and I thought my head was going to explode!

I remember a friend telling me scornfully that her husband was incapable of listening to her if the children were vying for his attention at the same time; he needed to do one or the other, and she was saying "I can just ignore them and listen, why can't he, bloody men" kind of thing. I'm like him!!! I can't bear trying to listen to more than one person talk and especially if there's other background noise. There's nothing wrong with my ears, it's just a brain thing!

Anyway, it was lovely to finally separate the boys and have quiet story time this evening and they were both asleep within minutes so at least they've worn themselves out talking Smile

obrigada · 23/08/2013 15:48

Just found this thread, I remember reading it back in November, and then I lost it. Have now added it to my "watch list", going to take some time and read it through. Waves at everyone:)

Original poster
NorksAreMessy · 23/08/2013 22:02

I am so happy about this thread. :o

Lots of gentle, kind (my theory still collecting data, so far, all introverts tested are kind, not all kind people are introverts, still need more data :) ) and thoughtful people just quietly meeting. Perfect.

Tomorrow is one of my hectic days. Last Wednesday I talked to, and was jolly with, about 100 people. Tomorrow should be quieter (rain forecast) so I might take less time to wind down afterwards. I need the half hour journey home, no radio, and about another solitary hour at home before I can be sociable.

I completely understand about background noise. I cannot focus at all if the telly, radio or music are on and really find it hard to see how anyone can. I can embroider with the telly on, but only if I know what I am going to do before I start. Actual creativity has to be done in calm and quiet.

failingatlife your name makes me sad :( I hope this haven can help you

OP posts:
SeagullsAreLikeThat · 24/08/2013 07:03

Norks, I felt exactly the same about failingatlife's name... Here's hoping it's lighthearted...

The background noise has been a real issue at work for me in the past; there have been people in the office who, when the boss isn't there, want the radio on because they say they work more effectively with music whereas it really blocks my thoughts. I can't even read with music on and yet apparently there is some research that shows that some people DO perform more effectively if they work with background music on (I think it was based on students revising for tests). Must depend entirely on the individual.

Doha · 24/08/2013 09:54

Strangely l need music to study-on the TV on very low but that is different to general noise for me. Going to the cinema is a nightmare with that Dolby sound booming in my ears, then the masses of people chatting makes my brain want to explode. I rarely go to the cinema usually waiting until the film is out on DVD. (I have a massive DVD collectionSmile).

I love to listen and hear nothingjust silence but my favourite is nothing but the waves on the shorevery hypnotic.

Shinyshoes1 · 24/08/2013 11:59

I have a list of stuff to do when the kids leave home and one of the things on the list is bora bora... My DP and I were having this discussion last night oh ma god !!! He reckons he's not coming as all ill do is lay there stare at the sea and read a book ..." I can do that at home "

FFs we don't even live near a sea and yes I can read a book indoors but it's hardly the same . He just don't " get it " the peace , sound of the sea , solitude. I actually get very annoyed at his answers .

I often go and lay under a tree at Hyde park when the weather is nice , looking up through the trees at the sky , listen to all the different sounds around me in the distance but I can " do that in the garden it's all the same bloody sky "

Sad
Littlegreyauditor · 29/08/2013 12:42

Hello, this is lovely.

Can I come in? I'll bring my own book...

MERLYPUSS · 29/08/2013 20:57

Hi.

Just hi.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 29/08/2013 21:54

Always lovely to have new people (as long as they're not too noisySmile)

Littlegreyauditor · 30/08/2013 11:19

I'll be over in the corner then, lovely to see you all.

UnexpectedStepmum · 30/08/2013 21:47

I had a challenging afternoon, what I had expected to be me and DCs visiting a friend turned out to be a party with ten mums and their DCs. I hate parties!

Will just chill out here for a bit if that's ok.

Guitargirl · 30/08/2013 21:56

I think my family are starting to understand that I cannot physically process what they are saying if they are all talking to me at the same time. But they have learnt that as I just start sticking my fingers in my ears and walk out of the room.

I had 2 nights on my own this week for the first time in nearly 7 years. I felt incredibly guilty at how much I enjoyed it. I went to a conference which I really enjoyed (luckily the presentation I had to make was early on so then I could relax) and stayed up late both nights just to make the most of the solitude.

ArgyMargy · 01/09/2013 10:06

Hello. Seen this thread before but would like to join now if that's ok? I'm currently reading Quiet and it's a revelation (but not a surprise). I've had a quick search but not found any threads about it. Have there been any?

farrowandbawl · 04/09/2013 12:44

There have Argy but they were in chat so long gone by now. It was either in chat or relationships where this thread originated. We asked MNHQ to either put this thread as a sticky but they moved it here instead.

ArgyMargy · 04/09/2013 13:22

Thanks farrow - I admit I am slow on the uptake..!

farrowandbawl · 04/09/2013 13:32

No, no that's not what I ment at all. Sorry If it came across that way.

Introvert threads like this don't come up that often..three or four times a year at the most. By the time I'm usually online, they've gone. Hence why we've asked this one to be moved to as more permanant place.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 04/09/2013 18:16

Really glad you asked for it to be moved. I love this thread.

Just going back to the noise issue, I realised at the cinema on Monday why I like going so much: the noise doesn't bother me, I think because it's just one source of noise, which I can handle ( I struggle when there are lots of conflicting sources) and what I love is that it's two hours when I'm not expected to talk to anyone! In fact you're not ALLOWED to talk to anyone. Bliss!

ArgyMargy · 04/09/2013 18:47

I wasn't being sarky farrow - I really do get to things late in the day!! But agree it is great to have a permanent place for this - so thank you. Grin

southeastdweller · 05/09/2013 17:23

Another hot day here in London. Can't wait for Autumn to get going! I find this weather so irksome.

farrowandbawl · 05/09/2013 17:52

It is SED. I hate it. At least tomorrow it's going to rain, that's a bit better.