INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

[NorksAreMessy]

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

Good evening all of my lovely quiet friends.

I have taken my lovely introverted DD to university yesterday. She is coping very well with the chaos of the fist couple of days, has made some friends but is also confident enough to retire to bed with a book for a bit of a regroup.

DS started in sixth form at school B last week, absolutely hated it and has now moved back to original school A. It has been quite a hectic week.

So glad, as always, to welcome new people to the quiet place and hear your experiences.

So last week I spent a night at an airport hotel. Brought in some M&S food, watched TV on my iPad that I’d downloaded and caught up with newspapers that I’d brought with me from home. It was fab to wake up and listen to nothing but the faint hum of the heating for about half an hour before I put the TV on - no noises of feral neighbours screaming and no police sirens booming.

Very much recommended if you can do this, and a tip for those on budgets is that airport hotels are much cheaper than ones in town or city centres. They’re also good for that extra sense of isolation.

Southeastdweller, that sounds lovely. Last night I spent the night in a tiny box room in a hotel that felt like an oven but I couldn't open the window because you could literally step out of it, onto a balcony and into the neighbouring bedroom through their open window so I just cooked instead! There was just about enough space to turn round in the bathroom and it was a single bed but surprisingly I actually slept and it was nice to be woken up by the alarm at 6 instead of by the DC at 5.15.

Unfortunately today involves being stuck in a room with 50 people with whom I have an obligation to chat then a 3 hour drive home with two colleagues so you can imagine how much I'll enjoy that!

Oooh, seagulls you really need a retreat inside your head for some of today, don't you.

We are plague house here this week. I retired to bed for a whole day, miserable, but also very peaceful.

Oh no, Norks, that's not good (although a day in bed doesn't sound to bad!). Since DS1 went back to school he keeps bringing bugs home but I seem to have avoided them so far whereas DS2 and DH have pretty much been ill all of September!

Yes, definitely looking forward to 8pm tonight and some peace and quiet!

Did you survive?

Just about, thanks! Really stressful day running a conference then loooong drive home but it was such a relief to walk through the door. Quiet day with DS2 today so I'm happy!

Are you all recovering?

Thanks, all back to normal now.
Lovely evening trying to draw in front of the log burner with a dog on the sofa next to me

Bliss

Yay! Autumn is really here!

I love this time of year.

Me too. We lit the first fire of the season last night and were briefly cosy before DS began his assault on the fire guard.

interesting introvert thread here

Hi Starfish, lovely that you've found the quiet corner

Have just started back at college doing something I have always wanted to do. (arty) I was worrying about what I was going to do and how I was going to be creative.

Two hour walk around the hills with the dogs and I had the whole scheme, plan, details, creativity, materials, display, new ideas...the whole palaver all came to me whilst marching round with the tiny terriers.

Sometimes I walk with a dog-loving friend, and that is fun, too. But I really love my solitary walks for sorting my head out

Hello, I too found this thread after seeing it referred to elsewhere.

I'm an introvert, probably don't seem one initially, but I don't like groups of people, like my own company, prefer staying in to going out, tend to listen more than I speak. Have lots of good friends, but only ever socialise with one at a time, and a couple of social engagements a week is enough for me.

I read the post where someone said they'd spent a night in an airport hotel. That sounds like BLISS. I'd love to do that, I often look at hotels off motorways and think I'd like to just check into one randomly, take a good book, have a bath, and shut the world out for a night.

I'm in the process of divorcing an extrovert who frequently accused me of being antisocial just because I didn't socialise on his terms (loudly, in groups, all the time etc). Interestingly, I have more friends than him,....

I'm a single Mum on maternity leave at the moment. My DS is nearly 6 months and I'm starting baby groups. I find them really hard and am starting to feel a wee bit isolated as a result. I go back to work in January so I'm not sure how important it is, but everyone keeps telling me how good it will be for me and my DS if I take him to lots of groups. I've started one and it takes my everything to go to just one a week, and it's just not my way of meeting people. But don't know how I'll meet other new Mums,......

Sorry, that is ALL about me. Sorry to gatecrash, I only meant to say 'hello'.

Hi Tricky, can't post a long reply at the moment but just wanted to say (in my opinion) baby groups are great if you like that sort of thing but they are not for everyone and I think it will be more beneficial for your baby to have a happy, unstressed Mum who wants to spend time directly interacting with her child, playing and talking and pointing out interesting things, than to force yourself into a stressful situation for you, where your child may not even want to interact anyway so no one wins! Baby groups are a lifesaver for some mums but if you don't enjoy them, don't force yourself to go. Your baby will learn all the socialising skills they need from day to day interactions at the shops, with friends and family and eventually at nursery / school etc.

Hi everyone, fellow introvert here, was very happy to find this thread after Norks linked it on the other thread. Very exciting that you've started an arty college course Norks, hope it's going well! I'm doing an evening class in drawing and illustration at the moment and love it - it's 2 hours of sitting quietly, totally focused on the task at hand.

I'm married to an extrovert too. This is why I started that last thread - we are going away to a cottage soon for one of his friends' birthdays - a house full of extroverts! I will want to go and hide in our room occasionally, but don't want to appear rude... I don't go to all group events with DH, but like to go sometimes because I know he likes having me there, and his friends are nice.

We don't have DCs yet but are just starting to think about it. One of DH's worries is that a child will ruin what he calls my "chi" - I like to be calm and quiet and have a few hobbies that require silence and focus, and he's worried a child will stress me out. But I'm guessing if 1/3 of the world are introverts I will cope fine :)

How do I know if I'm an introvert please

Just reading through this thread, and it's quite funny how many of us have similar interests - knitting, embroidery, birdwatching, writing, art, books...

I've often thought there should be an MN birdwatching group (maybe there already is and I don't know about it?) I really need birdwatching friends - all the people I meet when I'm out doing it are old, bearded men...who are lovely but would be nice to know a few younger or female birders. Off topic, ahem :)

x-post Alyss. I'm sure others on here have some useful definitions, but you could try doing one of the tests below:

Myers Briggs test 1

Longer Myers Briggs test

There are lots of ways of identifying introverts

My favourite is that introverts feel energised by being alone and contemplation. Extroverts are energised by being with others and sharing energy.

thealyss what is your very most favourite thing to do?

I skim read the thread earlier and have only just read your post properly Tricky. My post about socialising with my extrovert husband was rather insensitive coming straight after yours - sorry.

Good luck with the baby groups. One piece of advice I read on here, which has helped me in that kind of situation, is to go along and just join in when/if you feel like it. I used to really psych myself up and try to make an effort to be extroverted, and would end up feeling rubbish. Now I'll just be quiet and do my own thing but chip in when the mood takes me.

How lovely, some more introverts have found the thread . I'll read back from when I last posted and come back later

Thanks Elizabeth. I'm divorcing because of a completely different reason (he had an affair) so no need to apologise - I've always been attracted to extroverts in a partner because I feel their qualities balance mine, and vice versa.

Thanks for your tips re: baby groups. I have worked myself up, you're right, and then I come home feeling pretty crap.

I've never liked groups, ever. I remember leaving Brownies when I was 8 after a few months. Brown Owl said 'But all your friend are at Brownies' and even then I thought 'But that's the point Brown Owl, I've been at school with them all day, I need some time on my own'. I didn't say that of course, but even at that age I was aware I needed down time.

Norks that is my favourite way of identifying yourself as an introvert. I love being with people but really need to space it out iyswim - people tire me and I need to know when I'm going to get a break to really enjoy social time. If that makes sense,........