Libido, how did you get yours back ???

[WSM]

Since the birth of my lovely DD 15months ago I seem to have completely lost all sexual desire. Sex was great right up until the birth (well, not right up, but you know what I mean ). It was especially fantastic when I was pregnant (luckily DH finds pregnant women sexy). Nowadays we're lucky if it happens once a month. He very rarely mentions it but does like to have a bit of a moan at me every now and again. We do other things to, ummmmm, satisfy him (prob around twice a week) but we both miss the closeness that sex brings.

Our relationship is perfectly happy and we have no problems. I expected a lull in libido post birth but I honestly thought things would have improved by now ! Have any of you experienced this and what have you done to get that magic back ?

Am I destined to be a sexless freak forever then ??!

I still have little to no libido, but DH's came back after about 9 or 10 months. Don't know why, but think it had something to do with the fact that we were getting into a good routine with DD, and I was making an effort to look nice, even though I still had at least 10 pounds to lose post-baby. We never had sex when I was pregnant the first time around, but this time, he seems to enjoy it much more. I wish I could say the same. . . .

We have early nights as often as possible ie around 9pm. If it gets past 10pm then I'm just not up for it at all. I've found that being on the pill dulls things down a little too. A nice bottle of wine and a bath together usually goes down well too

Hope things get magical again soon

nerve.com

WSM - was thinking about starting this thread myself......i am in exactly the same situation...almost down to even the finer details!!

It's crappy and embarrassing but we need a solution

I'm trying to make an effort tonight. DH will be out until around 9.30pm (left the house at 8 this morning), so I've made plans to soak in a long hot bath and perform my ablutions (sp?), namely leg shaving. Not sure my jungle like legs are helping either of us get in the mood !

Hmmmm, will have to be quick though, Holby City is on in 10 minutes !!!

Things are really not helped by my grizzly, snotty 15 month old who seems to be finding it impossible to get to sleep tonight.

LOL!!!

Off for my bath. Take care all and thanks for the advice.

Still waiting ....

if you find your libido's could you see if mine is lying around there too?
Lost it several years ago, luckily dh isn't too bothered but i would like to be closer, trouble is my brain, i can't relax & am so aware of dd next door the whole time...

I got my libido back briefly a few months back... then I got pregnant again

Hmm, that probably isn't the advice you want to hear, is it?

Well time for an update methinks. Please look away if you are sensitive to detail (or if you know me )....

Had my bath (with all the relevant defuzzing) and DH arrived home at around 9.25pm. Had a bite to eat and then went for an early night . DH was complaining that he was tired as he'd had a long day but soon got the message. Needless to say he was VERY keen . A bit too keen actually as I had to, ahem, point him in the right direction IYSWIM twice (he was gagging to get 'down to it'. Anyway the result was magnificently satisfying sex resulting in 2 orgasms for each of us (!!!!). Fab.

I think that my main problem is that when we do get round to it it tends to be a 'quickie' due to both of us being tired etc, which ultimately isn't all that satisfying for me and so I'm less inclined to make a habit of it IYSWIM. Oh where did those pre children languid, sweaty hours of dirty ruttin' go to ????

Sorry about the huge amount of smilies in that last post !

P.S. GoerginaA, I AM getting terribly broody

P.S. (Again) That 'winky' after 'get down to it' shouldn't be there, it should just be a close bracket !

WSM - oooo dangerous

Hmm... wait a while, then they might have reinstated the 20 week scans by the time you're preggers again

WSM - I know what you mean about hours of dirty ruttin before kids. I miss that so much. I also miss snogging, when dh and I were dating we'd snog so much I'd have to go to work the next day covered in a red raw stubble rash.

My problem with sex is getting in the mood. Once we've done it I think GREAT - must do it more often, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy to do it as often as we'd like. I'd much rather snuggle up with my book and a cup of horlicks. God, someone shoot me please - I sound like my Mother.

G

I still can't quite get over that. Are you going to pay the £150 and get it done at Solihull ? My friend is contemplating it (she's 13+5) but her DH is reluctant to fork out the cash,lovely man but a bit of tightwad unless we're talking about gadgets and 'boys toys'.

I am trying to talk myself out of my broodiness. Things aren't 'right' yet. DH had a job interview last night which went incredibly well for a job in Warwick. He's still working in his current job but really isn't enjoying it so he's looking around. The interview went v well and so things are looking up, it's an extra £9k pa but then it i also a 1 hr commute each way. If he gets this job then I think we'll get this house on the market and look to move closer to Warwick (obv not into Warwick as the boys still go school in Worcs and we couldn't move them). So in a nutshell, I'd like to be moved and settled in before we start introducing further family members. I think it'd be v disruptive for DD if we were to have a baby and move house in the space of 5 or 6 months. Anyway I've rambled on and totally veered away from the orig topic so I'll stop

Know the feeling Northerner ! Apart from the 'mother' thing, mine has more sex than I do, her and stepdad are at it like rabbits - ICK

Threads like this reassure me a great deal. I do wonder if mine's just gone AWOL for the rest of my life. Used to be a great leisure pursuit, I seem to remember.

I don't know, WSM. Probably. Haven't heard back from BUPA yet.

I've got my dating scan this afternoon, so I thought I'd focus on that first, then write the letter to my GP this evening and see what happens. We can probably afford the £150, but with Christmas on the way, there really are better things to spend it on, if you know what I mean!

I can sympathise with the whole moving house thing. Dh has just got a new job in Worcester itself which is great (he used to do a 1hr commute each way, and it wasn't fun), but we have been wondering if here's the place we want to settle long term. The catchment areas are so bloomin' stupid here and we want to move to a bigger place in the next couple of years anyway... I miss living in a big city, but I don't know Birmingham well enough to know the nice areas and I can't see us ever being able to afford to go back to London... Of course, now is the better time to move before ds gets settled in a school, but it all seems so much of a gamble.

Glad I'm putting someones mind at rest

Congrats to Mr A ! That's great news. I think you'll find that the catchment areas are only weird on our estate. Due to the fact that the planners didn't have the foresight to build a scholl big enough to accomodate the estate ! Ridiculous I know. Personally I wouldn't go to Brum, the house prices are extortionate in the good areas and the 'dodgy' areas really aren't all that great. There are some great primaries in our fair city, Northwick Manor is excellent for instance. At the end of the day whatever you do will have a certain amount of 'risk' attached to it.