Libido, how did you get yours back ???

[WSM]

Since the birth of my lovely DD 15months ago I seem to have completely lost all sexual desire. Sex was great right up until the birth (well, not right up, but you know what I mean ). It was especially fantastic when I was pregnant (luckily DH finds pregnant women sexy). Nowadays we're lucky if it happens once a month. He very rarely mentions it but does like to have a bit of a moan at me every now and again. We do other things to, ummmmm, satisfy him (prob around twice a week) but we both miss the closeness that sex brings.

Our relationship is perfectly happy and we have no problems. I expected a lull in libido post birth but I honestly thought things would have improved by now ! Have any of you experienced this and what have you done to get that magic back ?

Or even a school !!! Have an image of a giant sandal now !!

(Sorry, am veering horribly off topic!)

Yes, it is good news - even without the salary increase it's going to save us somewhere between 50 and 70 quid a month on petrol (diesel - was worse when it was "normal" petrol!) - it all helps!

Yes, the estate is weird, but I do like the convenience/low maintenance of a brand new house! Our old house was always needing something doing to it, was a real money sink. Wish they'd hurry up and get broadband on the estate though - I could put up with a lot if only we didn't have to use sodding dial up!

I guess I just want it all really

See alternative thread

Sooooooo, back to my lame sex life...

You'll just have to sell the kids on Ebay so you can get back to slow rutting, WSM...

WSM

I've got no libido either (dd now 16 months). Reckon there is some deep down pyschological reason for me - i.e. that I don't see myself as a 'woman' any more (i.e. with a woman's needs) but rather I see myself as a 'mother', and mothers just don't do that!

That is so true hmc. There are a few things that we used to indulge in (I won't freak you out with the details) pre preg and birth that frankly I'm not sure are decent anymore since I became a Mum.

Yes - and I still feel my body's not fit for exposure...

Join the club

After dd1 i couldn't wait to jump into bed with my husband as i found him more attractive than ever and felt so bonded having created a beautiful baby together but after dd2 it took a bit longer. I think all the exhaustion doesn't help and sex seems to be low down on the priorities. However, dd2 is now 5 months and i've begun to realise that it is my husband and i that keep the family together and therefore time for each other is important. This time does not have to consist of sex but spending loving time together ie getting in a babysitter and going out has helped to increase my sexual desire and bring back the spark. I also do silly things like candlelit dinners at home once the children are in bed and dress up to surprise him!

Things like c/lit meals etc are a bit difficult as we have 2 boys aged 11 & 10 who don't go to bed until 9.30 on a week night and 10.30 on a weekend night. The fact that I can't cook doesn't help either.

I also find Going Out Together becomes...yet another chore on the list of things to do.

Actually I have wondered if I'm slightly depressed. I went off sex big time when I was pregnant, and a lot of that was confusion about my body (yes I know I wasn't fat, I was pregnant, but somehow it never got through to me!) and I still feel utterly crap about my body even though it does fit back into its clothes (unlike after dd1!). I can't exercise much at the moment either as still have residual SPD.

Or am I making excuses, I wonder?

I don't think that your SPD is an excuse TBH. I know what you mean about going out together, finding a trustworthy and capable babysitter for a 15 month old girl and 2 pre-teen boys is nigh on impossible.

SPD means I can't swim. Swimming makes me feel lots better about my body. That's what I mean.

It sounds to me like your loss of libido is down to a lack of self confidence (certainly a poor body image). Would something like a nice massage help you feel a bit better about the way your body looks ? FWIW I'm sure your DP finds you just as sexually attractive now as he did pre pregnancy.

It sounds to me like your loss of libido is down to a lack of self confidence (certainly a poor body image). Would something like a nice massage help you feel a bit better about the way your body looks ? FWIW I'm sure your DP finds you just as sexually attractive now as he did pre pregnancy.

DP fancies pants off me. Trouble is pants tend to be firmly on.

Hmmm, a massage...no, what I really want to do is move. Not something I'd have said 10 years ago, but I really do need to. I should probably see what I can do, apart from pilates, which won't aggravate my wonky pelvis.

Love it. Will stop whingeing. MIxxx

Anyway I reckon pie's nicked mine

Issymum

You put it perfectly!

Can't do it in the afternoon, and can't do it in the morning (unless wake between 4.30 and 5.30 am) so that leaves night time, when I'm knackered. Hmmm.
Also feel fat and repulsive, despite losing some weight. Am thinking longingly of liposuction. But I think they'd need a van for the flab.

I jumped on DH 6 weeks after my c/s. (I just wanted to know ok............. plus had drunk best part of 2 bottles of wine). TBH, I was anaestatised by the booze. Thats it really. I don't think I ever want sex again. DH insisted on using a condom for the first time in 9 years. It gave me thrush. The condom, that is.

I can't even 'fiddle with meself' anymore as DS is usually in the same room and 'it don't feel right'.

So someone on this thread please tell me that I am going to want to shag again, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and I forgot, my overhang, it really worries me. I think that it smells. Perhaps others have had this. At the moment I am using Savlon in my bath and am really pissed off that I can't shower. It's a belly button smell. I just can't imagine my DH 'going there' ever again! Soooooo sorry if this is TMI but there you go.

Worried, from Essex

A week after taking oil of evening primrose I was back. Very weird, but its the only thing that I did differently