Hot Sex for dieters?!

[Kia]

This board is for lustful thoughts to take your mind off food!

One of the best sex scenes is the one in Top Gun with the music 'Take my breath away'. I particularly enjoyed Tom Cruise in this part of the film because...

It's no good, I still want choccy. Organic dark chocolate that just melts in the mouth...

er, sorry about that... back to lust - now where was I? Right, it's got to be knock your socks off stuff, none of your namby pamby love business.

Star - I insist you talk about sex whilst I go raid the fridge...!!

I was beginning to wonder if this thread would rate as my worst ever. I wonder why mums wouldn't want to talk dirty!!? Thanks Star! Talk about hot stuff - 7 brides always does it for me!! Daughter is downstairs watching a music channel with dear kylie singing she can't get you out of her head - now THAT is fruity stuff!!

My house is full of food for the bonfire partette and sooner or later I'm going to weaken. Everyone is coming at 8pm and I'm not sure I can wait that long! Meeting everyone at the door witha huge chunk of pizza stuffed in my face rather than hastily tucking in silk blouse from a quick scrummage on the kitchen table!!!

Must go, I'm breaking into a cold sweat!!!

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Kia - I had to laugh when you said your dd was dancing to Kylie's 'Can't get you out of my Head'. My dd (aged 3) has adopted this as 'her' song and some of the dance moves she comes up with, well........ saucy isn't in it - she certainly didn't get those from her old Mum, I can tell you! As for thinking this was your worst thread ever, I think that you can safely say that's my department (look at some of mine on today's board). OK, strictly speaking I didn't start them just have got them up and running again. Actually perhaps that's it - they're out of date - will have to speak to dd about more up-to-date ideas! Hope your party went well. Did 'nightmare child' turn up?

As I was saying Kia, my threads are sooooo popular they've been totally pushed out of today's board!! Never mind eh. Back to dieting. I've decided I'm going to try to shift a stone of post-pregnancy blubber before Christmas so atleast then the kids can have their presents in a sack instead of me having to wear it! I'm going to try Slimfast. Boring, yes I Know, but it has worked for me once before and at least I don't have to think about what to eat. I'm going to try the chocolate flavour, it won't be a patch on the real thing, but it might just lessen the cravings. Any good dieting tips? (other than don't eat, of course!)

Right, diet starts tomorrow so now I'm off to scoff chocolate covered raisins!

I feel like Homer Simpson - chocolate raisins - drool! Yes, RobinW I think you're right - sometimes I find it hard to even think about it never mind talk about it - especially when the alternative is lovely warm cuddly food!

Yes the bonfire partette went well. The new neighbours turned up with child who was unwell and dosed up to the ears, so they didn't stay long. She looks like she needs help and I'm feeling quite selfish at the moment, my time is precious to me and I feel guilty at not offering her the hand of experience (don't mean patronising but I mean that my experience tells me what will work in her situation?) I'm not sure if she would accept it either. It was quite funny really, one of the kids wanted to bring boyfriend which wasn't a problem, but she said 'we'll be going on somewhere else afterwards' like we all go to bed after 1 sparkler each and a quick ovaltine!! Somehow we had a night of dire straights and brothers in arms against a fullish moon - hooooowwwwlll!! I only drank coffee so there, but I overdosed on carbohydrate, so back on DR Atkins tommorrow.

So forget sexy talk, what about diets?!

No, I think keep the sex aspect going a little longer, Kia! Watched 'Gladiator' yesterday while attacking the ironing. Didn't initially think much of Russell Crowe, but after a few sweaty battle scenes did start thinking phwoar! Anyway, enough of those wanton thoughts. Today was meant to be the start of the diet (again!). However, I forgot it was dd's Bonfire Party at playschool. Didn't want to spoil the spirit of things, so felt 'obliged' to eat hot dogs, pop corn, cakes etc. but I really did have to force these down (of course!!!).Anyway, It's all systems go for tomorrow now!

Diet update - Day 1 - already struggling!!!!! What can I say? Thoughts of hot sex just can't take my mind off hot, spicy FOOOOOD! At the end of the day, I'd rather have the literal 'meat & 2 veg' than the metaphoric - if you get my drift!

Just about to go and watch Gladiator with son downstairs - but not for the same reason! Might even get some choc as well! Bad Bad Girl!! Diet is not working today, say no more. Wait Russell, I'm coming...oops, sorry about that!

Kia - do you think you'd find Russell as sexy if he wasn't wearing his Gladiator gear? (By that, I mean mufty rather than nothing!) Anyway, regarding the diet, it's on hold for today as am visiting a friend this morning, no, I know that's a pitiful excuse. Does anyone think my heart is not really in this dieting lark?

Russell was drop-dead gorgeous in LA Confidential, too, and not a breastplate (ouch) in sight.
He is still not a substitute for a nice glass of merlot or a bar of Green & Blacks. I STOLE one of my son's kinkajou bars (little bars of milk chocolate, shaped like said cute mammal, aimed at small children) last night and ate it in the kitchen in case dh caught me. Oh dear.

I'm back at work part-time as well and I can't stop snacking. Those snack size mint aeros don't last very long. How about Andy Garcia in When a Man Loves a Woman (with Meg Ryan - she's the alcoholic mother), REM's Everybody Hurts is playing in the background and he's mooching around being all sad and GORGEOUS. Now that makes me want to make him feel all better.

I read this thread at work today, had to take someone to the airport and on the way back stopped for a sausage roll and a big egg and cress bap. Just had salad for tea, yuk. All that talk of Russell Crowe and Andy Garcia (swoon!) got me through the rest of the day. And yes, the gladiator get up actually does it for me! And the big bear skin cloak - oh boy!!! log fires and red wine... oh dear feel a chocolate episode starting!! Starting to think about a sponsored slim to shame me into revealing the pamela anderson body (which I lend her for photo shoots) which is hidden under yards of marquee canvas and bridget jones pants at present.

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Robinw, the stuff we had needed heating in the microwave before use - the 'don't move love I'll be back in a minute' kind of spoils the moment a bit. Also, top tip is don't try it in your own bed if you're going to sleep in it after cos it gets everywhere !

Life in the old devil yet eh, Twink! Good Luck to you, Girl. Could do yourself a nasty mischief if you don't stir it properly though after heating in the micro - those hotspots, ouch!

Way to go Twink I'm seriously impressed! Could try MIL's bed I suppose for a trial!!! Must go now my time is up and dd is champing at the bit. Seriously seriously impressed though!! I just bought the jar to leave somewhere prominent at parties!!

Kia - when you say MIL's bed, you don't mean with her in it, do you?

I was going to say - doesn't everyone? but that is too too disgusting for words. No I'd just like to do it there out of sheer badness. God I need chocolate! I'm the designated taxi driver tonight and Im cheesed off. another food word eek!

Kia - a the risk of being called a procrastinator, I'm postponing the diet until Monday. Oh dear, this happens every weekend, no wonder I'm not getting anywhere! So if chocolate body paint is the name of the game, it'll have to be this weekend. Forget dh though, I'll just have it out of the jar! I'd love to get it on MIL's sheets, she'd have a fit as she's so house-proud and ordered - I could always blame the kids!

Yes, MIL still irons dusters and underpants and drives me mad with just one eyebrow raised about the state of my house! I'm tempted one day to say you have a little bungalow with only one oap in it - you're darn right your house should be spotless, you've got bugger all else to do! But in the interests of family harmony I bite my lip and pinch her son -hard- when she isn't looking! HE knows what its for!! Body paint is out I'm afraid I'd just lick it out of the jar - it'd never get anywhere near my -or anyone elses- body! Got to get started with the diet, I'm really really cheesed off with the sight of myself and hotsex or even vaguely luke warm is really out of the question at this stage - with or without lights!!