Which is harder - no babies to 1, or 1 to 2....

[Welshmum]

I was just wondering what you found the most difficult - physically and mentally. Going from being without kids to having a baby in your life - or the move from one child to two.

Eeek - not sure I want to hear the answer to this being preg with No 2!

I do remember reading that going from 1 baby to 2 is like going from owning a dog to being a zookeeper. I'm hoping that's not true.

It can't be as much of a shock to the system as No. 1 was can it???

Two - one is, I found, fairly easy. Also, a massive percentage of relationships (like mine) break up in the first year of the birth of the second child. That's a cheery thought .... sorry. But it does indicate that two WONDERFUL children do add to life's general pressures.

I found the first baby a massive, massive shock. I remember thinking how could anyone possibly have two. 14 months later DS2 arrives. I find the babycare a doddle but the juggling a struggle. However in a masochistic type of way I love the chaos and being climbed on by two gorgeous chubby little boys. I've never been as knackered in my life, but you kind of know what to expect second time around.

I found the sheer weight of responsibility with the first made me a bit of a neurotic first time mother. Second time around I am defo more laid back, to the point where I sometimes have to think hard if I remembered to give them some tea.
First was defo harder for me..........

I've got a ds of nearly one and expect next baby in April so there will be nine months between them. I know I've got my work cut out for me and the thought scares me a little but I think I will be a lot more chilled out because first time round it really is all rather frightening!

I'm with jolou1 and lazyeye - in so far as going from being without kids to having one was an ENORMOUS shock and transition for me which plunged me into depression initially...and boy was I neurotic too.

I hope and expect baby no 2 (due in April) to be a bit easier

Having dd1 was definately a huge shock compared to going from 1-2. As everyone else says, you're an "old hand" by the time number 2 comes along so it's much easier. Wouldn't kid you into thinking its a complete doddle as it can be quite hard going. Worth every minute of it though - I've got two beautiful dds who both adore each other (even when dd1 (nearly 3) is trying to pick up dd2 (9mths) by her legs) Only joking, of course ...!

By the way, mu mum always says 2nd children 'know their place' and tend to be a lot easier to handle. As I'm the first born I think I should take offence!

Definately the 1st baby was much more of a shock than the 2nd one. I was already prepared 2nd time for what a baby meant to your life - plus my social life had already been destroyed by the first baby

My second one was so much more laid back as a baby as I think I was more relaxed with him, plus I didn't have so much time to spend with him, and he had an older brother to entertain him - however, he's now nearly one and is a little terror!!

One to 2 - awful ! Having to play and feed . God.
2 to 3 was a cinch

i found the first baby harder than going from 1 to 2 - I remember feeling totally lost when i had the first one - but don't expect them to be similar - my two are total opposites!

1 to two!

Reading this with interest as number two due in a couple of months....I have to say I did NOT find the transition to one baby to be an awful shock - sure, it required a large readjustment to my life, which probably took about a year to feel really 'bedded down', and there were tough parts that I didn't enjoy much, but I think overall the joy and highs carried me through it. So I suspect I may find the next step a bit more tricky....

one to two. or maybe that was going from one supposedly normal one to having one who was autistic and a second. Didn't help that 2nd baby coming along made fairly easy going ds1 go totally autistic for about 4 months. Then it began to get easier again.

I found going from none to 1 the hardest. It is such a shock to the system - all the late nights and crying, takes a bit of getting used to. I am a lot more relaxed with my second and seem to be handling everything a lot better - far less neurotic.

one to two is much much harder work (particularly with only 12 months between mine) but the plus side is I am far less neurotic this time round. Like everything in life there are pros and cons. Doesn't take long to go from the complete chaos to settling down into some sort of routine. Number 2 means you rarely get any rest though!

None to one! Couldn't beleive it. How could something that weighed 7lb create so much mess, washing, noise, disruption and total havoc!! One to two and two to three were easy compared to that. Why did no one tell me????

For me, the move from 0 to 1 was hader than 1 to 2. The hardest thing with 2 is when they're both crying at once, mind you, mine were only 17 months apart. I'm heartened to hear codswallop saying 2 to 3 is a breeze - I'll be finding out soon enough. I reckon the best thing to do is not to think about it (easier said than done) it'll all come out in the wash.

Ok, well this is giving me nightmares now!!!

Do people who think that 1 to 2 is worse when the gap is small? Or doesn't it make a difference what age the first is?

Great topic, Welshmum. I'm pg w/ DD2 - DD1 and DD2 will be 22 months apart. I have heard from my friends that going from 1 to 2 really cuts down on your freedom more than anything, since taking 1 around is not that bad, but taking 2 little ones is much tougher. So right now, I'm trying to do as much of those things I can do now that I won't be able to do much of later - like travel, take DD1 around to friends, etc. I have also heard from many women that going from 2 to 3 is really easy.

I wasn't fazed by number 1 at all, but can't get my head round having a second at all.
With #1 I didn't know what I was letting myself in for so I for so wasn't worried and when she was here just did a day at a time and haven't ever felt overwhelmed by anything with her, only the amount of love you feel so quickly. But #2 - how???? I don't understand how I'll look after a baby and do all those hugely attentive time consuming things with another child? I know I will, but can't understand how at the moment. DD is so all consuming in the nicest possible way where does #2 fit in? I really want DD to have brothers and sisters but don't know when I'll have the courage. The jump from 1 to 2 is far bigger than 0 to 1 in my personal opinion.
I'm going to wait until DD is walking at least and that doesn't look like it'll be anytime soon so.......

Going from one to two was harder for me. No 1 was a dream baby, fed and slept well and was very content. No2 was the complete opposite, hungry 24/7, needed carrying a lot, was always ill with bugs he caught from No1 and generally harder work. Also, I was blissfully ignorant with No1 but by the time I had No2 I'd heard of cot deaths, allergies and a whole host of other scary things. We'd move 750miles from family while I was pg and I didn't have much support, which didn't help.

That's the other thing, DD is such a dream child that there's no whay I'll be that lucky again.
However having said all that - having a special needs child I'd really like the opportunity to have child without sn. I really want to know what it's like to have a child that crawls at a normal age and you don't have to teach everything to iykwim so I'm looking forward to it very much from that aspect.