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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Horrible nursery manager - WWYD?

56 replies

Lbabyx · 11/04/2013 09:31

Hi,

I dropped my daughter off at nursery this morning (only his third time) and needed to drop off some calpol prescribed by the doctor for her cough and runny nose. It was labelled and prescribed within the last 7 days as required. However, the nursery manager (who I have been warned about in the past), refused to believe that my daughtee didn't have a temperature and said the doctor wouldn't have prescribed calpol without a temp. We doesn't have a temp and hasn't ever had one in the 5 months she's been alive! The nursery manager made me out to be a liar and made me feel like I was convincing her to give my daughter poison!!

I was so upset driving home, tempted to put my daughter in a different nursery but she's happy there?

What would you do?

OP posts:

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ReetPetit · 11/04/2013 10:28

I don't think she's being unreasonable really. Was she actually rude to you or just assertive in letting you know nursery policy? As a childminder and previously nursery nurse i know first hand the lengths some parents will go to deliver an ill child to childcare as they don't want yo take time off work or care for child themselves!!

Also, if i have read your post correctly your baby is only 5 mmonths old. The manager has to cover herself, they can't just give out calpol to babies whenever parents request it. Young babies can easily go down hill and a baby requiring pain relief should not really be in childcare unless for teething or something .

Fwiw as a childminder i won't give calpol and neither do a lot of nurseries

Original poster

Lbabyx · 11/04/2013 11:00

Hi,
Like I've said the calpol was diagnosed from the doctor - I didn't just want them to give her some for no reason. And yes, she was rude, not assertive. She has had a number of complaints for the way she lectures parents about childcare and decisions.

And I wasn't palming her off at nursery, she's well in herself, just has a cough. I work at a school so I am off work anyway do keeping her at home wouldn't have been a problem if needed. I just thought questioning me about her cough and temperature was out of order and not needed. She accused me of lying about the temperature.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 11/04/2013 11:03

I am more shocked a GP prescribed someone calpol just for a cough and runny nose!

I can see the managers POV and I would also question it to be honest.

If she is well in herself and just has a cough then why do you need them to give her calpol?

Chocoflump · 11/04/2013 11:04

I'm with the manager TBH.

Calpol will not help a cough or a runny nose!!!

HDEE · 11/04/2013 11:06

Calpol is a pain reliever and a temperature reducer, so I'm not surprised she didn't want to give it. If a baby needs calpol/paracetamol then nursery isn't the place for them IMO.

Koyangwuti · 11/04/2013 11:07

To answer the question "what would you do," based on just what was posted I'd not do anything. However, if there has been in the past, or if there then develops an undercurrent of mistrust, my child goes elsewhere. Having my child in someone else's care is a big deal, and I think there needs to be a positive relationship there. At that age it is my belief that the child will enjoy many a nursery; there is not only one place at which the child will be happy.

ThePendant · 11/04/2013 11:08

I agree that if she is ill enough to need the calpol then she shouldn't be in nursery.

No need for rudeness though.

NickNacks · 11/04/2013 11:08

The nursery manager has a duty of care to ALL the children and staff at the nursery and if your child is ill enough to have a prescription of pain relief for a cough then I think they should be at home, especially since you we're going to be there anyway!

Bert2e · 11/04/2013 11:08

Totally what others have said, Calpol is paracetamol which is used to reduce temperatures, it will not help a cough or a runny nose. If your daughter has a temperature nursery is not the right place for her.

blueberryupsidedown · 11/04/2013 11:09

I agree that she could have been nicer, but being nice sometimes stops you from getting your point across. If a child is ill and requires medications such as calpol, to manage pain or relief a temperature, then the baby shouldn't be in nursery. It's their policy.

insancerre · 11/04/2013 18:10

I'm with the manager.
If a child needs calpol then they shouldn't really be in nursery.
Especially if their parents are not working.

I am confused why she needs calpol if she is "well in herself"

And yes, parents do lie and send in their children when they are ill, having dosed them up with calpol. Some of them even don't bother answering their phone when we ring to ask them to take their poorly child home.

Nursery is not the place for a poorly baby.

megsmouse · 12/04/2013 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper · 12/04/2013 01:12

Calorie is no good for a cough but it's used for pain ( ear aches etc) and temps which is why the nursery manager may have questioned you and thought your child not fit for nursery.

She shouldn't have been rude but she should question it.

Pancakeflipper · 12/04/2013 01:13

Not calorie - Calpol.

Grrrr

SavoyCabbage · 12/04/2013 01:13

I think you should get a new GP. Paracetamol for a cough?

And if you are at home and your dd is unwell, you could keep her at home with you to aid a speedy recovery.

Perhaps other parents giving you a warning about the manager had made you feel like she's a cow. When she might be perfectly ordinary. It sounds like you don't like or trust her to maybe you should find alternative care.

Chocoflump · 12/04/2013 09:17

Agree with other posters that a 5 month old baby should be at home with its mother if the mother was going to be at home anyway!

wonkylegs · 12/04/2013 09:27

Calpol is paracetamol it is not just used to reduce a temperature but to relieve pain. A persistent cough can be caused by lots of things and a child may be well in themselves yet find the persistent cough painful and irritating (in babies often this can hinder sleep & taking sustenance)
If the calpol is prescribed by a dr and comes with a prescription & directions for use I see no reason to jump down the OPs throat or to question her dr. (although she may confirm the necessity or course of action should she be concerned)
I have taken painrelief for the majority of my life on prescription - it does not mean that I am unwell and cannot go to work. It means I am in pain and need relief to get on with my day.
The nursery manager is right to 'politely' question as to whether the child is well enough to go to nursery but should also politely accept the reassurances that the dr has said it's ok and the calpol is prescribed.

wonkylegs · 12/04/2013 09:28

Meant to say rudeness is not needed by anyone.

Chocoflump · 12/04/2013 09:57

Wonky I think it's a bit different a grown adult going to work than a 5 month old baby going to nursery.

wonkylegs · 12/04/2013 12:09

I know it's different but just because someone is taking medication be it baby child or adult does not mean that they are too sick to do something.
I was just using myself as an example. Rather than jump to conclusions on the Internet I'd rather leave it to the medical professional(GP) and mother to make that call.
As I said the nursery manager is perfectly right to question the health of the child (after all they will be in charge of their care and some parents do bow to the pressures of work over their kids illness, not always though choice I'm sure) but this should be done politely and once reassurance is given that GP says it's ok then this should be taken with good grace.
My DS since he was tiny has issues with his chest/lungs which can sound terrible but actually he is well within himself. Once he was checked out by GP, I felt quite happy for nursery to have him otherwise he would have never been there. Our nursery were fine with this and could always get hold of me if there was a problem (there never was).
For me the OPs post is about the attitude /tone of the nursery manager not whether or not the OP made the right decision.
Personally think the manager did the right thing but in the wrong way if that makes sense.

Original poster

Lbabyx · 12/04/2013 20:29

Thank you wonky. I came on here to get advice about how to deal with a rude nursery manager - not to get critiqued on my parenting skills. I put my child in nursery for two days to get her use to when I am back at work next week, a cough is not a reason to keep her off and would have distrupted her getting to know the routine of the nursery and the staff. The calpol was perscribed to help with the pain caused by coughing.

I'll remember not to use this site in the future. I thought we were all here to get help - not critisised.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lbabyx · 12/04/2013 20:31

And, like Wonky said, I never asked whether you would have put my daughter in nursery - I was asking about the nursery manager and her tone and rudeness toward me. Unless you know my daughter, you couldn't possibly say what would have been best for her.

I'm actually amazed that because parents are off work, people believe their child shouldn't enjoy nursery!?

OP posts:

dribbleface · 12/04/2013 20:59

Wonkey - unfortunately whilst most some parents can be relied upon to be honest about what a GP said, in my experience this is not always the case. Lost count of the amount of times a parents has misled me over the health of their child. I too have to take time off work when my child is ill, I know its a pain.

Lbabyx - if the manager was rude there is no excuse, but she was right to question it. It is unusual for Calpol to be prescribed for a cough, but not unheard of. I suspect as you are just starting the rules are applied stringently until they know you are not the type of parent I have described. Once they know you/your child they may be able to use their discretion more.

ReetPetit · 13/04/2013 10:13

I have never heard of Calpol being prescribed for a cough LBabyx - I think the manager was completely right to question it and to question whether your baby was well enough to be at nursery.

Your baby is 5 months old and I very much doubt she would 'enjoy' nursery if in so much pain from coughing that she needs pain relief. If you are off work imo the right thing to do would be to keep your very young child home until she has recovered but like I said, that is only my opinion I'm sure as you work in a school you will know that quite often parents will send their children in regardless of illness and I would hope you agree this is irresponsible, I think that is all anyone here was trying to say and that the manager is right to question you.

She shouldn't have been rude to you and if she was then you should raise it with her. But there is a difference between disagreeing with you (much the same as here on this thread) and being rude. Maybe you were misinterpreting her as you seem to have done slightly here?

lottieandmia · 13/04/2013 10:21

I think the nursery manager was rude. YANBU. If I were you I would find another nursery - at my daughter's nursery they will give Calpol if you request it - they only send the child home if they have a temperature of 38 or above. The main rule is not to bring a child in who's had D and or V in the last 48 hours which is standard.

A child may require calpol but still be well enough to enjoy nursery - I think the manager was being awkward. The way I see it, if you don't like the person who is running the provision your child is in then it's really important to find another one. You are a paying customer after all.

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