Horrible nursery manager - WWYD?

[Lbabyx]

Hi,

I dropped my daughter off at nursery this morning (only his third time) and needed to drop off some calpol prescribed by the doctor for her cough and runny nose. It was labelled and prescribed within the last 7 days as required. However, the nursery manager (who I have been warned about in the past), refused to believe that my daughtee didn't have a temperature and said the doctor wouldn't have prescribed calpol without a temp. We doesn't have a temp and hasn't ever had one in the 5 months she's been alive! The nursery manager made me out to be a liar and made me feel like I was convincing her to give my daughter poison!!

I was so upset driving home, tempted to put my daughter in a different nursery but she's happy there?

What would you do?

[DoYouWannaDance]

There seems to be some confusion here about what a cold actually is .

A cold is a contagious disease, it's a virus that is easily passed on to others.

Whilst a lot of us would send toddlers/pre schoolers to nursey with a cold due to work commitments, a baby can be much more poorly with the common cold, and in this case the mother was at home anyway. A relative of mine lost their 2 month old due to a very bad cold/medical negligence, and my own child almost choked to death on his own mucus as a baby due to a nasty cold.

I think the nursery manager was correct to question OP, she has dozens of other children to consider.

[insancerre]

Ofsted has defined what they mean by 'prescribed' and this doesn't just mean a written prescribed from a doctor. They define prescribed as any medicine recommended by a doctor, nurse or other medical practitioner.
But different nurseries will have their own policies.

[AlbertaCampion]

Wow: this thread is a magnet for the judgiest people on Mumsnet! Please don't flounce, OP: you had some bad luck here.

FWIW I sent my under-one to nursery with Calpol on a number of occasions, mostly due to painful teething. It was never questioned by nursery staff: I signed a form, and they gave it on an as-needed basis.

If a stroppy manager had questioned the need for it, I would have questioned if my child was in the right nursery.

[Sirzy]

Parental wishes should not always come first at all. Some parents wish to send children into nursery knowing they are infectious. What a daft statement that is.

No nursery has to give calpol that is entirely up to their own policy as to what they will give and under what circumstances.

[AuntySammy]

Some parents have to work and need nursery places and/or other childcare for their child/children. They shouldn't be judged as everyones circumstances and needs are different. Nursery staff are only permitted to give medicine prescribed by a doctor and with written consent by parents. If a doctor prescribes calpol 9or any other medicine) then it has to be adminstered - then recorded on a medical form, however if it is not then they can't adminster it in accordance with Ofsted regualtions and the law. Policies vary on childhood illness - a cough or cold does not render a child to ill for nursery unless they feel miserable and generally really unwell. However, vomiting or diarrohea and other more serious infectious illnesses do, parents should always consider whether their child is well enough to attend nursery/school but generally with a cough they are well enough. For children with medical conditions such as asthma inhalers (or other medications) are adminstered when needed but parental consent is always needed before hand. However, this manager should not have been rude - parental wishes should come first, and she should have explained the nursery policy in a nice polite way.

[LimitedEditionLady]

I understand exactly what this mummy is saying. Don't bad mouth this lady for taking her child to nursery, her child DID NOT have a temperature. The doctor obviously prescribed the calpol incase ther child got a temperature as with a runny nose and cough she could've developed more symptoms so they do that to one save the parent running out buying it last minute and also having to make more appointments. I'm sure that this lady knows calpol won't cure a runny nose and cough. It is perfectly fine to take a child to nursery with a cough and runny nose it's not a contagious disease it's a cold. They all get them most children are fine they carry on playing and eating so why can't they go to nursery? She didn't tell the nursery manager to give her the calpol and I'm sure the nursery have such a thing as a thermometer which they have to use to check the childs temperature before giving any and they also have to ring the parent before they give paracetamol so the nursery manager doesn't have to be rude to this lady at all. I take my son to nursery when he has a cold and the nursery agrees its best to fetch them in and give them a try at being there and if they are not ok they ring to collect them which I think is great because you could end up keeping them off for nothing,if you're working miss wages and unsettling their routines. If I book a day off work it's still my childs nursery day which I pay 52 weeks a year because thats how it works I still take him and he loves it so it annoys me to read "oh what is the baby doing at nursery if shes at home?" It doesn't make you an inferior parent to have a few hours to yourself, don't bash other people as parents when you know nothing about them.

[drhw]

I think done nurseries can be very difficult about calpol being given. It took my dd to have a febrile convulsion at nursery for them to let her have a bottle there just in case.

[ReetPetit]

?

[DuelingFanjo]

is that the royal we?

[LynetteScavo]

Generally GP's don't prescribe Calpol they tell you to go and buy it yourself IME.

I'm guessing you asked for a prescription, so your DD would be given Calpol while at nursery.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

It's your DD's third time at nursery and you've been warned about the manager before?

The manager made you feel like Calpol = poison?

What exactly did the manager say?

[ReetPetit]

lottieandmia = it is different. Antibiotics are prescribed to treat bacterical infections. A child can have a bacterial infection, which after 48 hours, nursery staff/childminder can carry on giving doses of antibiotics. Any reaction would normally happen in the first 48 hours when child is being cared for at home by parent and after the first 48 hours the hope is that the child is no longer infectious (assuming antibiotics were given for something infectious in first place...)

Calpol is a temperature reducer and a pain reliever. A child who is ill enough to require pain relief whilst in childcare should not be there! Also, how does the childcarer know what the calpol was origanally prescribed for? It could have been prescribed for high temp and parent then presents the next day with child, giving a completely different reason.

[Goodkingwalkingslass]

We didn't make digs about how she parents or about putting a young child into nursery care, none of our business IMO. I simply pointed out a poorly baby would enjoy time with mum more so than with strangers.

[Goodkingwalkingslass]

We didn't make digs about how she parents or about putting a young child into nursery care, none of our business IMO. I simply pointed out a poorly baby would enjoy time with mum more so than with strangers.

[LynetteScavo]

Settling a child into nursery while you are off work is the perfect time....so I totally get why the OP would send her DC.

Calpol for cough and runny nose? Calpol reduces fever and relieves pain. So I can see why the manager might question the if a baby was well enough for nursery. However she should not be rude, and I would be looking for a different setting, as I wouldn't want to be dealing with such a person for the next 4.5 years.

[DuelingFanjo]

I think the OP is 'throwing her toys out of thepram' because so many of you made very transparent digs about how she parents and about putting a young child into nursery care when she was actually asking you something completely different.

As someone already said, calpol is more than just something to lower a temperature, isn't it?

I am sure there are some parents who decide they have to work when their children are under the weather but most parents are not try to sneak their sick children into the nursery when ill.

[OpheliasWeepingWillow]

Bloody hell. It's CALPOL not morphine.

*backs away from thread

[lottieandmia]

Why is it different? Our nursery doesn't seem to have a problem with Calpol. Obviously if the child has a fever they are sent home immediately.

[ReetPetit]

Most nurseries will give antibiotics after the first 48 hours, same as childminDer.
Calpol/pain relief is completely different.

[lottieandmia]

Our nursery will give antibiotics too, and this is a nursery that is very strict about safety and is rated outstanding by ofsted.

[Wishiwasanheiress]

Our nursery is fine with calpol. I'm rather surprised others aren't. The parent signs a form for it be given and says which time.

Calpol is available off NHS. As is teething gel. Honestly. Amazed me too but it's definately done, have seen prescriptions for it!

[ReetPetit]

Flounce away op - you are simply throwing your toys out your pram because others have disagreed with you.

I stand by what i said. I feel the manager was right to question you and i feel you should maybe look for a new GP, rather than a new nursery

[insancerre]

What a fuss about nothing.
So everyone who disagrees with the op is in the wrong.

[Lbabyx]

Had nursery felt my child was unfit for being there they would have called me to collect her. I, as her mother, decided that she was fit for nursery and not uncomfortable, upset or poorly - simply had had a cough and was following doctors suggestions. Many people have said, working in a school or in a nursery, that parents send their child in when sick. In my experience, most parents keep children off for very minor reasons, fr example a Tummy ache or cough.

Now, I don't know about other babies but my child enjoys being around people, and being stimulated by toys. Hence why I felt nursery would be good for my child and why I said she ENJOYS it. Because YES she does.

I am not disagreeing with the nursery managers policies and I understand, as in the school I work in, that these must be upheld in order to protect all involved. However, as I have explained, she was extremely rude.

I have since spoken to the manager and he has apologised profusely and admitted that she was out of order. I also asked her if she agreed that my child was for for nursery and she said yes, to only keep her off for temperature or anything viral.

So, thank you to those who answered my question. And to those who didn't - but decided to make me feel like an unfit mother - I don't really know why you felt you had to judge me when I was already upset about leaving my child at nursery so young (needs/must) and after I was spoken to so rudely - I hope nobody on mum's net makes you feel that way in the future. I am going to disable my account and simply ask family and friends in the future.

[poozlepants]

Get a new nursery. Your daughter is only very little and she won't know the difference. You however will have to put up with a rude nursery manager for the next 4 years.