LIVE webchat now with Ms. Christmas, ask all your Christmas related questions here

[MsChristmas]

We are very pleased to announce that Ms. Christmas is joining us via weblink from the North Pole to share with us her help and advice for the Christmas season.

Please ask your questions here...

Is it true, as I suspect it is, that you do all the work and Santa gets all the glory?

Well, to be fair, it does depend what you mean by work.
I mean yes, he does do all the delivering, in whatever weather.
And...um..eats all the mince pies...and drinks all the fecking brandy

but I'd like to see him get a dormitory full of hungover elves out of bed and into the factory when it is -12 outside.

Does he iron his own Santa suit, or does he just roll out of bed in the mornings and announce, in a very surprised voice, that there don't appear to be any ironed suits in his wardrobe?

Are those father christmas style underwear sets that you see in the window at Ann Summers at all authentic?

Luckily the traditional 'Santa' suit is made of rather nice velour, and therefore doesn't need ironing. The only problem I have is when I sometimes get a dodgy batch of velour which means after the first wash he ends up with fetching pink cuffs. He uses those ones for 'practise drills'

No. They are not authentic I fucking wish Think more along these lines but stretch the image by about 200%. It's fricking cold up here, those thong things would give you frostbite in places you don't even want to think about.

Oh fgs. The elves have got into the mulled wine store. This will not be pretty.

That must come quite high up on the list of vomits I wouldn't want to clear up.

What's the deal with the elves? Are they seasonal workers who go off and leave you in peace for the rest of the year? Or do they have to work year-round?

No, they are year round workers. They are actually winter elves, some of them were featured on that Ben and Holly Fly on the Wall programme.
They do have to do extra shifts over Christmas to catch up as more children start behaving through fear of no presents and are added onto the 'good' list so they are a bit more stressed.

Although, to be fair, elves are lazy little feckers and love any excuse for a piss up.

It doesn't take long to clean up to be honest, it is a permafrost out here so I just make sure they are sick outside. I dread global warming though, I might actualyl have to clean.

who mucks out the reindeer?

Why is Bran asking more than one question? doesn't she know the webchat rules?

What about me?

No-one really, our reindeer live outside and don't really feel the cold, they have more trouble at christmas when they have to travel round the equator, plays havoc with them.
But I do take special feed out for them every day to make sure they can fly.

One year we had a wild herd get mixed up with ours, I can tell which are our reindeer of course but DH wouldn't have a clue, I was PMSL watching him trying to take off. Nobber.

You utter scumbags

xposts!

I don't mind extension of the webchat rules, I will be aroudn for a bit longer than normal guests, I do love MN and am a long time lurker...

I think I've broken the bulk of the webchat rules.very cathartic. Thanks.

Does Santa ever let you drive the sleigh or are you always relegated to the back seat, just behind the big bag of toys?

Are there any baby Christmases? Who will take over when Father Christmas retires?

Where's my pony? I'm thirty-fecking-one now and still waiting.

Why are you not Mrs Christmas? I was always told when I was a child that you were married to Santa. Have you been living in sin all this time, or do you use Ms for other reasons?

That's a thought. I am stll waiting for a tutu and a Tiny Tears doll that wets herself. I am having to make do with the real thing instead ...

Must say MsChristmas, you definitely have been lurking a long time. You have all the naughty swear words language sorted! Does your Dh ever stop your pressies for bad behaviour?

I had the tiny tears Boffin - it's not worth the wait. Better that than Baby Pizzle or whatever that scary boy wee-wee doll is called.

What do you do all day whilst FC and the elves are working? Are you a SAHM?

lol Boffin