LIVE webchat now with Ms. Christmas, ask all your Christmas related questions here

[MsChristmas]

We are very pleased to announce that Ms. Christmas is joining us via weblink from the North Pole to share with us her help and advice for the Christmas season.

Please ask your questions here...

Hey you haven't answered anything for half an hour.

Hello MsC. Glad to see that you are a Ms. Do you lurk on the feminist board?

I would like to know if your DH is the same as every other DH on this planet - "Just nipping into town, dear" - at 4pm on Xmas Eve - then panic buys because the shops are closing and the only present that he has found for you is a Matchbox toy of your wedding sledge.

(Can you tell that I have never quite recovered from the Matchbox Toy Christmas - referred to in hushed tones in our house)

And I am still waiting for my Cadbury's Chocolate Vending Machine that I asked for in 1984.

DD wants to know how her 'toy train that me and DS can ride in' will fit in the sleigh please...?

Do you think she's on a ride with Dh?

Sorry, much mayhem and panic, the elves broke into the garage and nicked the snowcat, they went joyriding on it and scared the shit out of the reindeer. DH has been lying around on the sleigh to calm them down and get them to land. I was on a call with the FAA and BAA to explain what the weird radar signals are.
They have all been locked up in their dorms now, gruel for breakfast as punishment think. You have to be firm with these elves.

Boffinmum, there are indeed little christmas's, we have a DS who is being trained up. DH is actually the latest in a long line of FC's.

SuePurply. We did get you a pony, but unfortunately your parents vetoed it as you didn't have enough space to keep it. You need to ask for presents with a little bit more responisbility

All of the other presents that haven't turned up, I am assuming this was a couple of decades ago? That was DH's father. Unfortunately he thought he was Evil Kneivel and did a few rolls on his sleigh and lost a load of presents. I can only apologise. He is in the FC nursing home now so I shall pass on your messages and make sure the staff withhold his mince pie and brandy for tomorrow.

MmeLindt, I do lurk on the feminist board and do my bit as much as I can but I am in the unlucky position of being in a completely male dominated family business. I have managed to get the female elves work now though, before they were not allowed in the factory sexists bastards.
I am grateful we have a ds and not a dd so I don't need ot have that conversation. The Ms is my one concession to my feminist leanings.

Captainancy - magic

DH is not like every other man imo.
I don't even get a present. tbh by the time it is christmas day all DH does is sleep off the snacks and drinks he has been scarfing ( and not saving for me I might add)

As a concession I do get the elves to make me whatever I want for christmas from myself. This year I am getting ghd's and a chloe handbag.

can i please request that you employ some special elves who REMOVE ALL THE PACKAGING AND INSERT THE BATTERIES.....thankyou (mum of 5 here,and recycling isnt due til new year,and have lost the stupid teeny 'battery' screwdriver!)

TheSquodgit, I am supposed to be a SAHM but in actual fact I am chief nagger and tend to follow DH around making sure he doesn't start regaling the elves with tales of when he saw the Queen in her skivvies and caught a PM having some Christmas nuptuals for the thousandth time, thus distracting them from their work.
I do HE DS as well, but considering his career options are rather ,limited that tends to just be Reindeer Husbandry, Geography, How to Grow A Beard and How To Deal WIth Elves.

ILoveTIFFANY, I am so sorry, I knwo it is a massive PITA but the elves are allergic to batteries and so can't put them in themselves.
Those wires we add ourselves to give the adults something to playu with, you can make wonderful models out of the you know, don't you find them fun?

er,no!!

can i please add a tiny screwdriver to my list then,i give up!!

can't the female elves do it and wear gloves and masks or something? its 'elf' and safety gone mad!!!

Just the smell of a battery turns them a bit strange, that's where Orcs come from, and we can't risk it, sorry.

Shall add tiny screwdriver to your list, have you been good?

exceptionally!!

really?

sooooo good,unbelievably!

those mince pies your DH will be eating will be lovingly homemade....liberally laced with the finest brandy (or not,if you'd prefer him home sober)

If you could lace them with viagra, that woudl help....

Good morning all

Well I have already fed the reindeer this morning and made DH and DS their breakfast, DS is off to the factory for the day to help oversee the final preparations, he likes to have everything as ready as possibly today as he will start at about midday GMT in New Zealand and finish mid morning GMT in the Pacific, so he goes to bed nice and early tonight leaving me to make last minute preparations

Ooh, how exciting! Are you fortunate enough to have a waitrose nearby for getting all of those last minute bits and bobs? I'm not familiar with the location of all of their ' out of town' branches.......

I tend to get most of my shopping from the special delivery service for supernatural beings, we can't just let any tom dick or harry know our address, it was recommended by the head tooth fairy, they are fabulous, and pretty much instant.
I have problems with their substitutions though, I asked for mincemeat once and got minced meat. DH still ate it though, stick enough brandy in and he'll eat pretty much anything

Obviously the sleigh has runners, designed for take-off and landing in the Lapland snow. How do they cope when FC does his stop-offs to children in, say, Ghana or the West Indies? Does the sleigh have drop-down wheels or some other fancy contraption?

I know from experience trying to sledge down a hill covered only in the last morsels of winter slush can be a messy and terrifying activity!!

And you should probably know your address isn't the best kept secret, 'Daybreak' showed your house on ITV just this morning. So at least a few hundred people will have seen it!

What?!! Bloody paparazzi.

Oh, and anytime you have qa question like that (re sledge) the answer is 'magic'

have you considered puttin your dh on diet,all those biscuits and complex carbs cant be good for him

What are your views on that old song "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus"?