Crap Tips

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

'Things to do with...plastic cd cases. Save lots and paint them with letters for a giant scrabble board'

This handy tip was in last weeks Pick me Up magazine. Why!? and What!?

Share some please, real or made up. I need cheering up.

LOL cherrycoke did you actually send them in, hope you had good pics.

Sorry cerrycoke read it properly and see you were sent the email. [[doh]

Go forth BoF, have no shame.

There is a brilliant headline in Take a Break though 'Ghost in my womb - that's my mum's face'.

Pick me up has a fab kinky sex feature every week too. A recent favourite was people who like to wrap each other up in gift paper and bows.

I am one of those people who actually turns up early to dentist/docs to allow extra crap magazine reading time....I get very cross if they are running on time and I am denied

Oh the thread is on the homepage, I've earnt two mumsnet badges today!

Found on a tips web site.

"If your clothes have a stain then don't worry -just cut that piece out and stain will be remove!!!!"

"If your dog has scaly skin, a flat tounge, and can move its eyes in different directions, it is possibly not a dog." ????

On another site 'Brainwaves ? This is where people write in to share their ?good? ideas, I personally am never going to forget the woman who wrote in to say that she often didn?t have earrings to match her outfits so what she did was paint a pair of plain white plastic earring with nail varnish to match her outfit. Agggggggggghhhhhhh'

For the current first tip (about vinegar): why on earth did the Alison from Harrogate choose that picture?!

"My bedroom's so cluttered up with all my ornaments and cuddly toys I decided to tuck all my teddy bears behind my curtain rail. It keeps them up out of the way, and my bedroom floor clear! "

Leah Smith, 20, Chester, Cheshire

Leah your 20 grow up and ditch some of the toys.

"I just couldn't bring myself to throw away my favourite saucepan when the handle fell off. So now I use it as a plant-pot holder instead."
Maureen Harrison, 64, Leicester

that will be atttractive.

"If the rain has made your grass all muddy and you don't want to ruin your shoes on it, simply tie some old carrier bags around your feet, as modelled by yours truly. I'm sure Dolce & Gabbana wouldn't approve, but they don't live in rainy Coalville! "

Pic of her sporting said poly bags

Julie Smith, 45, Coalville, Leicestershire

I once read that stale digestive biscuits (or was it rich tea?) could be painted with several coats of varnish to make handy coasters Genius!

PMSL especially at the person sentimentally attached to a pan!

Has the lady with the plastic bags never heard of wellies? Wonder if D&G would approve...

On a diet but fed up of eating salad? Fry it in lard - hey presto, healthy food that's tasty too!

I hope that those perverts who like to wrap each other up in gift paper and bows have the sense to recycle it. Or at least cut it in pieces to make a jigsaw for their little ones.

Oooh, I've got it now...Use an old cassette tape to make a wig for a fancy dress party!

I'm obviously far too posh for this magazine, I am feeling quite soiled tbh...There's an article I'm steeling myself to read about a woman who orgasms giving birth. She has nine children.

Another tip for cassette cases...write people's names on the labels and use them as place holders at a dinner party. I wonder where? Islington, perhaps?

I still remeber the one with the tights.

'My grandkids cuddly toys were always being left all over my house, i hung up a pair of my old tights and stuffed them full of the cuddly toys to make an attractive feature in the bedroom...........

It was acompanied by this ladies grand daughter standing next to a pair of scabby tights looking horrified at her teddy bulging out of something that used to harbour grannys crotch.

I still remeber the one with the tights.

'My grandkids cuddly toys were always being left all over my house, i hung up a pair of my old tights and stuffed them full of the cuddly toys to make an attractive feature in the bedroom...........

It was acompanied by this ladies grand daughter standing next to a pair of scabby tights looking horrified at her teddy bulging out of something that used to harbour grannys crotch.

Charlee me too

BoF

If you can bring yourself to actually read it note the liberal use of the word 'soothed' It's in every farking aricle. 'We'll be fine, I soothed' etc I know of nowhere else that word is used like that.

Aaaaaaaargh! I'm only a paragraph in, and I'm already regretting it...the mental image of the woman in the photograph slobbering over her husband with her legs in stirrups is too much for me. I'm afraid [puke]

My two favourites:

Things to do with staples - make a nice bracelet by joining used staples together.

Plus the woman who found one morning that a large branch had fallen from a tree in her garden, so she took it inside and fastened it to the wall in her hallway to use as a coat rack - leaves and all!!

I actually own a lovely bracelet made from staples. My very talented friend made it for me, but they are not used, that would just be cheap