Crap Tips

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

'Things to do with...plastic cd cases. Save lots and paint them with letters for a giant scrabble board'

This handy tip was in last weeks Pick me Up magazine. Why!? and What!?

Share some please, real or made up. I need cheering up.

Although if anyone sends in my tip, probably best not to send in a picture

It was sticking ears onto a stuffed toy to save money at Easter and to provide a talking point when you have people over for an easter egg hunt. Perfectly reasonable I thought...

if you find your bathroom floor is wet after showering, try pulling the curtain while you shower. BINGO - no more mopping up.

I did spot a fab one in the Mirror last Friday (I was reading it in a childrne's play place for amusement value) which was something like "save money by knitting your own dishcloths. I bought a big ball of dishcloth wool for 99p and knitted 347 dishclothes from it!""

"Calendar room border! Thursday 29th January 2009

Decorating a child's room can be expensive, so why not use an old calendar as a border. Not only will you be recycling but it also saves having to pay for a border, plus it's a handy way to teach your child about the months and seasons! "

Probably not ideal if you have the FHM or Nuts calendar which would teach your child about something else entirely.

I'm still waiting for

Short of cash? Submit a pointkess tip to a trashy magazine. £25 for the price of a second class stamp!

Wigglesworth - I know that girl on page 375 from years back, she is just the type to try desparately to try and get into Zoo or be a FHM High Street Honey (blurgh)

Last thing I know was she was trying to make it as a stand up comedian .

She is about as funny as syphillis so I don't think she was successful

"Cut out your name and address from the envelopes you receive in the post. They're very handy to stick on competition entries as it saves you writing your address out over and over again!"

[weeps]

How about - recycle old stuffed toys by taking the ears from one, the head from another, and the body from a third to make an all-new toy!

Kitty treat!
Tuesday 7th October 2008
When my cat, Lucky, fell ill, he was put onto a special diet, and was not allowed treats. However, he was used to having his daily treats. So I emptied a treat tub, filled it with his new food, and now he can still have "treats" out of the tub, but is sticking to his diet - so he doesn't feel he is missing out. Just remember to take the "treat" amount out of the meals!
Sarah Bell, Outer Hebridies

eh?

PMSL - SouDragon - is that one real or a made up one??

Oh my god as if the fricking cat looks at the tub.

Is the world full of morons?

That cat, TDWP might belong to this family:

Cubby holes
Tuesday 20th March 2007

If you've got a big family like mine, you'll know how possessive kids can be about their bottles of fizzy drinks. Mine were always arguing over whose was whose so now I've allocated each of them a cubby hole in the wine rack. They always know which one is theirs and there are no more rows.

"allocated each of them a cubby hole in the wine rack" Snort! Let's hope they don't drink from Mummy's cubby hole by mistake...

It's a real tip, GOML!

Bottle of pop in the wine rack? Blimey.

How's this for a tip:

"encourage your children to drink water. It is both nutritious and free, with the added benefot of preventing pop fights"

Give yourself a Croyden Facelift before sex and then you have no worries about going on top and your jowls hanging down in your man's face!

Did you not read my tip? You should never have to have sex again!

Har! OK, I take everything back that I said about crap magazines in hospital waiting rooms. This is comedy gold and I can't wait for the next time the antenatal clinic keep me waiting.

I have a tip that we use!

When DD1 started walking, we couldn't afford a stairgate for the front room and she was always pulling on th door handle and opening it. DH took out his screwdrivers and turned the handle upside down so you have to pull it up to open it! Worked a treat, has worked for all the kids!

Extra enjoyment is watching guests come round and struggle with the door until you tell them it's kiddieproofed!!

I was sent an email with some "credit-crunch busting tips" today Some of them have been on here already but these are my favourites which haven't:

Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

Oh send it in but hang a framed picture of the bat on the door for the picture!

Do it!

I have to say I've just popped out for dr pepper (so misunderstood) and they didn't have pick me up so I got take a break, very dissapointing! Some of the tips are even sensible.

Make a rustic bird box by stapling shredded wheat to the roof.

Cut down on the high cost of chrsitmas by concieving on March 24th and calling your child Jesus.

Personlised clothing for children is expensive. Cut down on this by christening your child GAP. That way, they will never run out of clothes with their name on the front.

It can be my mission now then...Pick Me Up, you say? And Do I have to buy a Grazia to hide it in? Or has it been established that MNers are ok to buy it in a knowing post-modern way without any camoflage?