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DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.

214 replies

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 14:34

We've always had face cleansing wipes in the bathroom cupboard that both DH and I use. DH isn't what you'd call 'metrosexual' and not at all into skin care. He commutes by Tube and uses the wipes to get off the grease and grime before a wash.

A couple of weeks ago DH started to complain that his skin was feeling dry and really sore. We put it down to cold weather and central heating and thought no more of it.

Since then, DH's face has seemed quite red at times. He's mentioned it being dry a couple of times and we've chatted and agreed that nothing's changed (washing powder, face wash, wipes etc.) so it must just be the cold snap.

Today DH has called me from work and said he's thinking of going to the Drs as his skin was burning last night and is really red today. He asked could I please go to the bathroom (I'm working at home) and tell him the name of the face wipes and wash as he can only describe them to the Dr as the 'green minty smelling face wash' and the wipes 'in the navy blue packet'- as I said, no real interest in face care.

I was a bit struck as our face wipes are in a white packet. The only blue packet we have in the cupboard is anti-bac surface wipes.

Yep, that's right he's been cleansing his face every night with anti-bacterial surface wipes for about three weeks. I would't mind but the anti-bac wipes have got a picture of a sparkling, clean white bathroom on the front. Not to mention the fucking words 'Anti-bacterial Bathroom Wipes'

Once I'd finished laughing, it transpires it's somehow my fault for not letting him know. Silly me, I thought he was a 30 year old man who was able to read.

Reminded me very much of fat balls, especially when DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Owllady · 25/01/2016 15:39

Please thank your dh for giving me a good laugh :o

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 25/01/2016 15:39

I'm on a train and I actually just laughed out loud at "big red face". Ha! I'm getting some odd looks.

Hilarious!!

FuzzyScuzzbucket · 25/01/2016 15:39

My dp used bum wipes on his face. My niece still cracks up laughing when she thinks about it Grin

LeaLeander · 25/01/2016 15:39

Hilarious!

Please, link to fat balls story?

DramaAlpaca · 25/01/2016 15:42

Brilliant thread OP, has made me laugh out loud.

Fat ball thread is here if you want another giggle.

DramaAlpaca · 25/01/2016 15:43

Oh sorry, the OP beat me to the link Grin

FinnMcCool · 25/01/2016 15:46

toilety. Grin

crookedhooker · 25/01/2016 15:47

DH washed his hair with my exfoliating cream when we just moved in together because it smelled nice apparently. His head was itchy for weeks Grin. He hasn't used any of my stuff since mind.

ruby1234 · 25/01/2016 15:53

My DH used to cycle to work and used lip salve before he went to avoid chapped lips.
One day he picked up a lipstick and applied it liberally to his lips.
Nobody at work told him for ages - when he went and looked in the mirror he had a big red clown smile.......

CorBlimeyTrousers · 25/01/2016 15:54

Many moons ago my grandad sprayed his armpits with my grandma's hairspray. And I once wiped my toddler's face with Dettol wipes in an absent minded moment. Oops. I did realise and washed it off.

bettyberry · 25/01/2016 15:55

I'd get some of those big white address labels and write 'shampoo' 'toothpaste' etc on everything like they do in nursery Grin

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 25/01/2016 15:55

I would spend the rest of the day stating the bloody obvious, by doing things like handing him a fork at dinner and saying helpfully "it goes in your mouth" and passing him a glass of water "it goes in your mouth and then down your throat" and asking him to text someone "you do it with your phone" and saying "how was your day - you can answer with words, about your day" until probably I was divorced but it would amuse me.

Because he appears to need a little help.

Valentine2 · 25/01/2016 15:57

Do you mind if I snapshot your complaint against him and send it to DH as it will help us a lot. He has been trying to be smart about using up my face cream (v expensive) and various options as if he knows what all of them do and in which order. This will be a good lesson.

HixieRice · 25/01/2016 15:57

It can't just be me thinking this is an awful idea?

A number of years ago, exDH got out of the shower to ask which of two bottles was the shampoo Confused Is it a "too manly to read your silly bottles" thing?

DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.
BreakfastLunchPasta · 25/01/2016 15:58

Hilarious Grin

A cream like HC45 is probably needed to make his face better. He doesn't need to say what he's been doing to his poor bloody face (although I'd love to see the pharmacist's reaction..), just that it's really irritated, if asked.

Now, I'm off to read fat balls..

tootiredforthissh1t · 25/01/2016 15:58

Grin that has brightened my day

SheWhoDaresGins · 25/01/2016 15:58

ruby1234

^My DH used to cycle to work and used lip salve before he went to avoid chapped lips.
One day he picked up a lipstick and applied it liberally to his lips.
Nobody at work told him for ages - when he went and looked in the mirror he had a big red clown smile^

I am crying with laughter! Grin

Queenbean · 25/01/2016 16:01

My BF has been using my expensive face wipes to wipe his bum. Lovely.

He too also kept using my moisturiser until his face turned and unnatural shade of orange, it too was gradual tan. I tell him to use cocoa butter and he will NOT believe that it doesn't have fake tan in it (you know, because the bottle is brown). He thinks I'm trying to trick him.

Was giggling lots about this OP Grin

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 16:02

Valentine If my tale can help to educate men everywhere, go for it Smile

OP posts:
elementofsurprise · 25/01/2016 16:03

I'm genuinely baffled as to why these men don't read the label. Is it an extension of the "not asking directions" thing? Or do their brains reduce everything down to a very simplistic level, so wipes in packet = face wipes, spray can = deodorant, etc, without noticing the words on it?

Argh I actually want to experiment/find out the answer! psychology student

Crochetfanatic · 25/01/2016 16:03

Hilarious Grin

limitedperiodonly · 25/01/2016 16:05

My dad told me that when he got teenage spots he washed his face in lye.

For anyone unfamiliar with that, it stripped the spots off and the skin.

His face recovered and luckily he wasn't blinded.

If he'd have been alive today he'd have been 98.

BalloonSlayer · 25/01/2016 16:13

I think on the sticker you should draw a picture of a big sad face in a red circle with a red line through it.

Also draw another sticker with red circle with an arse drawn in it and a red line through it.

And then do a cock and balls one.

etc

limitedperiodonly · 25/01/2016 16:15

I use a smear of Huile Prodigieuse Or on my shoulders, arms and shins in the evening when I have a tan. It looks and smells lovely.

DH, who has dry skin, decided to rub it liberally all over his face one morning and left for work before I saw him.

He spent the entire day being ridiculed for wearing glitter make up. He tried to wash it off but it's stubborn stuff.

He had the cheek to blame me for not warning him. Why did he think I used a smidge and never on my face?

MrsGideon · 25/01/2016 16:17

I did once put Earex ear drops in my eye Blush Christ how it stung - I convinced myself I was going to go blind

In my defense it was very early on a Monday morning!

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