DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.

[ChristmasCabbage]

We've always had face cleansing wipes in the bathroom cupboard that both DH and I use. DH isn't what you'd call 'metrosexual' and not at all into skin care. He commutes by Tube and uses the wipes to get off the grease and grime before a wash.

A couple of weeks ago DH started to complain that his skin was feeling dry and really sore. We put it down to cold weather and central heating and thought no more of it.

Since then, DH's face has seemed quite red at times. He's mentioned it being dry a couple of times and we've chatted and agreed that nothing's changed (washing powder, face wash, wipes etc.) so it must just be the cold snap.

Today DH has called me from work and said he's thinking of going to the Drs as his skin was burning last night and is really red today. He asked could I please go to the bathroom (I'm working at home) and tell him the name of the face wipes and wash as he can only describe them to the Dr as the 'green minty smelling face wash' and the wipes 'in the navy blue packet'- as I said, no real interest in face care.

I was a bit struck as our face wipes are in a white packet. The only blue packet we have in the cupboard is anti-bac surface wipes.

Yep, that's right he's been cleansing his face every night with anti-bacterial surface wipes for about three weeks. I would't mind but the anti-bac wipes have got a picture of a sparkling, clean white bathroom on the front. Not to mention the fucking words 'Anti-bacterial Bathroom Wipes'

Once I'd finished laughing, it transpires it's somehow my fault for not letting him know. Silly me, I thought he was a 30 year old man who was able to read.

Reminded me very much of fat balls, especially when DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'.

Wouldn't be one bit surprised if my DH did this. It's like he takes a brainfart around just about anything used in the bathroom - I've had to tell him numerous times to stop using my conditioner as shower gel ffs!

He's still lovely though :)

DH once informed me that we had run out of wipes and he needed some urgently. I told him to use the bottle of Cillit Bang and a J cloth instead. Next thing I know, he is changing DS's nappy, armed with the Cillit Bang and a J cloth! He meant baby wipes

This thread has had me in fits of laughter

The worst my DH has done is wash DS in shampoo instead of soap, which would have been fine except DH completely panicked and came running out of the bathroom shouting "oh no! I've messed up! I've washed the boy in shampoo!" Poor 7 year old DS was stood in the bath looking shocked and covered in foam. I couldn't resist replying "Well that's it now. He'll be completely covered in hair by tomorrow morning!" (Out of earshot of poor DS of course)

At least his face will be germ free, albeit rather sore.
My dosy DH once used saline nasal drops instead of allergy eye drops. He wondered why they weren't working very well.

I got some free sun lotion from work, a posh one you only use once a day.

Happily rubbed the children all over before school and stuck their caps on their heads.

Got to school, went to kiss them goodbye and they were both glinting glitter like R Patz in Twilight.

It was a glimmer version. Oops.

Poor wee scone!

That is very much the sort of thing my DH would do, I'm quite surprised he hasn't actually!

Silvermachine that's brilliant!!!

My dad used toilet duck wipes instead of Andrex wet wipes once. Mum can't help but tell the story to everyone she knows.

Stomach crunching with laughter.

Get a bottle of witch hazel and get him to Dan it on and it'll take the redness straight out. It's magic stuff and you can get it in chemist or supermarket I have sensitive skin so I've always got some handy.

My dad always used to blame my mum if he did something like this 'why didn't you tell me,' probably because she thought he had a bit of sense!

It reminds me of someone I know who bought a femfresh deodorant. Her partner remarked a week later 'that deodorant smells lovely'. She asked him if it was the dove stuff and he said no the other one. Once she stopped laughing she said 'that's not for your armpits it's for ladybits!' His comment to that was 'aw what? You mean I've been walking about smelling like a fanny all week?'

When I was 19, I came back from the pub quite drunk one night and decided to dye my hair black. Considering my sloshed state I did an ok job. Unfortunately I also dyed all the fine downy hairs on my face. I decided to try and sort this out with bleach based bathroom cleaner. When this failed to do this job effectively, I decided to immac the hair off.
I have done some spectacularly stupid things in my life but this is one that still makes me cringe.

My Dad is notorious for putting Comfort fabric conditioner down the toilet as a cleaner! Mum was furious, although I bet the toilet's cistern is lovely and soft now.

My DH has terrible eyesight but obviously can't wear his glasses in the shower. I always have to buy him exactly the same brand of shampoo and shower gel so he can tell by the shape of the bottle which one to use. It's not always easy for him with all the lotions and potions that our DDs have in the bathroom.

Ouchy.

I took a swig of yellow Flash liquid one day instead of mouthwash. The bottles feel the same when you're not looking properly. Thankfully it was me and not one of the kids.

DH has just got home with his big red head.

It's not too bad but does look a bit, ahem, inflamed.

He's now got a face covered in savlon and is moaning that I've shamed him on MN.

My darling dad used to get up first and make us all breakfast in bed.

He made me ReadyBrek one winter's morning but unfortunately used Sainsbury's own brand washing powder which was next to the Ready Brek. The colours on the boxes were similar and to save money he never turned on the light.

It was just breaking daylight in my room when he gave me my bowl but I remember thinking that it looked a bit bright.

I spat it all over the dog who was curled up asleep on my bed.

My sister had crawled into bed with my mum and they were shrieking with laughter while my poor dad was saying he could have killed me.

It tasted really salty and I spat it out instantly without swallowing. I had a little bit of a sore throat.

When I got home from school the dog still had washing powder on her fur.

OP, the phrase big red head is reducing me to tears!

I'm imagining him like this and you, like this or this

I must confess that lack of a penis didn't prevent me from putting Body Shop cucumber eye gel in my fucking eyes as a teen it was very sore!

I'm laughing so hard!
My mum put my dads ear drops in for him one morning before she'd put her glasses on. He said it didn't feel right so she put some more in for good measure. Checked the bottle and it was the glue for my younger sisters false nails!

Glue ear ha ha ha ha

Snuffle Oh my god!!

Rooster Yes that's pretty much it. I can't even look at him without laughing. I just had to rush upstairs to the loo as I was sure I was going to wet myself. He's now refusing to cook tea with me because I keep laughing at him.

Mine once tried to eat a dishwasher tablet. He thought it was a big sweet.

This thread is hilarious! Laughed so much I cried at some posts.

Nominate for Classics as 'big red head' needs to be immortalised!

God! I'm laughing so much at these

When I was a teenager, living at home, I kept all my aids to beauty on my dressing table. It was in the days of back combed hair, my new boyfriend was in his car outside waiting for me, so I quickly checked my makeup (I'd been doing it for hours) and gave my hair a(nother )quick spray. Except that it was shaving foam" I looked like mr. Whippy