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DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.

214 replies

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 14:34

We've always had face cleansing wipes in the bathroom cupboard that both DH and I use. DH isn't what you'd call 'metrosexual' and not at all into skin care. He commutes by Tube and uses the wipes to get off the grease and grime before a wash.

A couple of weeks ago DH started to complain that his skin was feeling dry and really sore. We put it down to cold weather and central heating and thought no more of it.

Since then, DH's face has seemed quite red at times. He's mentioned it being dry a couple of times and we've chatted and agreed that nothing's changed (washing powder, face wash, wipes etc.) so it must just be the cold snap.

Today DH has called me from work and said he's thinking of going to the Drs as his skin was burning last night and is really red today. He asked could I please go to the bathroom (I'm working at home) and tell him the name of the face wipes and wash as he can only describe them to the Dr as the 'green minty smelling face wash' and the wipes 'in the navy blue packet'- as I said, no real interest in face care.

I was a bit struck as our face wipes are in a white packet. The only blue packet we have in the cupboard is anti-bac surface wipes.

Yep, that's right he's been cleansing his face every night with anti-bacterial surface wipes for about three weeks. I would't mind but the anti-bac wipes have got a picture of a sparkling, clean white bathroom on the front. Not to mention the fucking words 'Anti-bacterial Bathroom Wipes'

Once I'd finished laughing, it transpires it's somehow my fault for not letting him know. Silly me, I thought he was a 30 year old man who was able to read.

Reminded me very much of fat balls, especially when DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'.

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ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 15:13

Grin That's amazing Dave

Why don't men massive sweeping generalisation just take 5 second to read the packets?

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MackerelOfFact · 25/01/2016 15:14

Hilarious! I was about to mention the fat balls... please tell me this is isn't the same DH! Grin

My dad accidentally used insect repellent on his toothbrush once instead of toothpaste. Apparently everything tasted pretty foul for about 3 days afterwards.

Gobbolino6 · 25/01/2016 15:17

Oh God. Your poor DH but I'm laughing so hard at this.

Rumplebelle · 25/01/2016 15:18

DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'. Grin

Poor thing! He must be so uncomfortable, but that is ruddy funny!

BigDamnHero · 25/01/2016 15:19

At least he washes his face. After a conversation about the various soaps and face washes in my parents' bathroom recently, I asked my 15 year old sister which she used to wash her face. Her response: 'You're supposed to wash your face?' Hmm

CrazyDuchess · 25/01/2016 15:20

Oh gosh crying with laughter here - poor man!! Grin

SheWhoDaresGins · 25/01/2016 15:21

Told MrGin why I was laughing and he reminded me of the time he turned his whole head orange except for the circles around his eyes.

He used what must have been an awful lot of body lotion over his entire face, head, ears and neck after a shower. What he hadn't taken in to consideration was the fact it was body lotion + gradual tan in it. I woke with such a fright, then completely lost it when I noticed the white circles around his eyes, he was like an orange reversed Panda. He also had bright orange knees and palms of hands. Funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Thank you MrGin for reminding me ha ha ha fucking numpty Grin

shoeaddict83 · 25/01/2016 15:22

omg thats just made me laugh in the middle of the office! Brilliant!! Grin

GruntledOne · 25/01/2016 15:23

Good grief, he wants you to go and embarrass yourself at the chemists because of his daftness? Did it not occur to him that it wouldn't help anyway, due to the fact that you haven't got a red sore face, so the chemist would just tell you it's nothing to worry about once he'd stopped laughing?

He doesn't even have to talk to the chemist anyway, does he, he just needs to get something soothing like baby lotion and stop using the bathroom cleaning wipes.

I second the idea of putting labels on every cleaning product saying "Not for your face", I think that's brilliant. He can hardly complain, given that he's blaming you for failing to tell him not to use the bathroom wipes.

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 15:24

No, it's not fat balls DH, unfortunately.

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ChampaleSocialist · 25/01/2016 15:24

Oh FFS does this mean I have to move them off the toilet cistern in case people think they are wet wipes? I mean they are lemon scented, that should be ok right? Right? Shock

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 15:25

Gruntled Yes, I told him to bugger off with that one. I think he was half joking. We've got some baby lotion and Savlon in the house anyway so no need to go to the pharmacy.

When I've finished work today, I might go round adding the post it notes. Mwahahaha.

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DownstairsMixUp · 25/01/2016 15:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

FilthyRascal · 25/01/2016 15:27

This is the most hilarious thread ever Grin

I LOVE the idea of putting post it notes on everything!

Roobix04 · 25/01/2016 15:27

Omg I'm dying! Grin That is too funny. Love that's it's your fault. I'd go to the chemist for him but make sure I said it was definitely him who'd done it and not you!

wickedwaterwitch · 25/01/2016 15:28

Pmsl

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 25/01/2016 15:30

Two things 1: he needs something for his big red face made me pee a little and 2: what are these fat balls?!

Flossiesmummy · 25/01/2016 15:31

Funniest thing ever. Men are so daft sometimes!

trulybadlydeeply · 25/01/2016 15:31

Slightly different, but my DS (19) just discovered he has been washing his clothes for the past few weeks with dishwasher tablets. He said on the plus side his clothes have been lovely and clean.

S0dabread · 25/01/2016 15:32

I just can't help wanting to say "should have gone to spec savers !! Hope he is better soon.

3luckystars · 25/01/2016 15:35

My friend told me her SIL was cleaning the new baby with Milton Wipes. A small baby, cleaning its face with the Milton Surface wipes!!

Very funny thread, I hope your son is ok.

Shelby1981 · 25/01/2016 15:36

ahahahahaha this is hilarious! his big red face LMAO

I am intrigued by fat balls? wtf?

MrsEdinburgh · 25/01/2016 15:37

Reminds me of the time DH mistook my face wash for shower gel. It was an Avon Anew facewash with minty smelling scrubby bits in..............guess who complained of a sore undercarriage Grin

ChristmasCabbage · 25/01/2016 15:37

hangingout The fatballs thread: Enjoy

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MrsEdinburgh · 25/01/2016 15:38

At least he was minty fresh Grin