DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.

[ChristmasCabbage]

We've always had face cleansing wipes in the bathroom cupboard that both DH and I use. DH isn't what you'd call 'metrosexual' and not at all into skin care. He commutes by Tube and uses the wipes to get off the grease and grime before a wash.

A couple of weeks ago DH started to complain that his skin was feeling dry and really sore. We put it down to cold weather and central heating and thought no more of it.

Since then, DH's face has seemed quite red at times. He's mentioned it being dry a couple of times and we've chatted and agreed that nothing's changed (washing powder, face wash, wipes etc.) so it must just be the cold snap.

Today DH has called me from work and said he's thinking of going to the Drs as his skin was burning last night and is really red today. He asked could I please go to the bathroom (I'm working at home) and tell him the name of the face wipes and wash as he can only describe them to the Dr as the 'green minty smelling face wash' and the wipes 'in the navy blue packet'- as I said, no real interest in face care.

I was a bit struck as our face wipes are in a white packet. The only blue packet we have in the cupboard is anti-bac surface wipes.

Yep, that's right he's been cleansing his face every night with anti-bacterial surface wipes for about three weeks. I would't mind but the anti-bac wipes have got a picture of a sparkling, clean white bathroom on the front. Not to mention the fucking words 'Anti-bacterial Bathroom Wipes'

Once I'd finished laughing, it transpires it's somehow my fault for not letting him know. Silly me, I thought he was a 30 year old man who was able to read.

Reminded me very much of fat balls, especially when DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'.

Like this no dogs one but saying

Not for use on
YOUR FACE

or

YOUR ARSE

or

YOUR COCK AND BALLS

This is hilarious. Sorry to be laughing at your DHs poor red face but really. Dont anti bac wipes come in a larger flatter pack to face wipes as well?
What a chump!!!

It is the knd of thing my DH would do too.

That's brilliant! My dad spent a few days wiping his arse with toilet bleach wipes before he complained to my mum about feeling a bit 'raw' and she figured out what he'd done. They're hopeless!

I bought some anti bacterial toilet wipes,left them on the cistern and found the packet empty about two days later. Jokingly said to dp "God we've gone through those quick-finally getting the hang of cleaning up after ds showering the seat in pee" he went white as a sheet and said " OH toilet wipes, for cleaning the toilet hardman i think i might need to go doctors tomorrow"
Im not ashamed to say I laughed like a drain listening to our doctor explain that unless his arse was blistered he hadn't done himself any lasting damage.

Just to prove that the lack of a penis and the presence of ovaries does not reduce The Stupid - I once bought a new facial moisturiser which was on offer in Boots and applied it liberally after a shower "Oooh this smells of chocolate..yummy" The next morning my face looked filthy and it transpired the facial moisturiser was in fact a gradual tanner.

I am normally extremely pale (with a tinge of blue) - so the filthy faced look with horrific tide marks on my neck was not good. I had a really important meeting at Head Office that day too. DH actually tried to spit on a tissue and rub my face with it...

I love all of these stories of stupidity from men and women alike

I think you should relentlessly take the piss and send him text messages for the rest of the day.......

MrsGideon I used to use a nail glue that was in an almost identical bottle to eye drops. Luckily I never mixed them up.

I did mix up some Superdrug own brand saline with their contact lens solution.

They were in identical bottles with the colours - cream and black - on the labels reversed.

It fucking hurt like hell when I rinsed my lenses in solution rather than saline and put them in.

Who in their right minds would design that packaging for a product aimed at people with bad eyesight - as I emailed their customer services dept when I could see straight?

They don't do it any more.

limited That's the problem I encountered when fumbling half asleep through my wash bag - both bottles looked and felt identical

That fat ball thread is hilarious. I've never heard of a fat ball - but have now. By the way - why are there about 25 messages in it that say "message deleted by posters request" what were they saying?!

Limited wasn't lye used for washing clothes or am I mixing it up with something else?
DH has done pretty much the same with saline and solution before now, daily disposables have been a godsend!

TreadSoftly That's a very good idea! Baddiel and Newman style... that's you that is.

hanging sometimes that just means the poster has left the site

DH is a rufty tufty ex rugby player, whose morning ablutions extend no further than Shit. Shower. Shave. But he does rub a dab of gel into his hair on occasion.

Recently I noticed my v. expensive Elizabeth Arden moisturiser was disappearing at an alarming rate. After enquries it turns out DH had been blithely rubbing it into his hair, assuming it was hair gel. His defense was that I had been leaving my pot of moisturiser too near to the pot of hair gel on the bathroom shelf and it was confusing

My pot of moisturiser is in an elegant white/silver glass jar. His hair gel is in a white/black plastic tub FFS.

My DGF did similar but used them on his Arse. He thought they were toilet tissue.

You really shouldn't use hydrocortisone on your face without medical supervision, but some good thick moisturiser is probably all that he needs now he's stopped using the wipes.

You have made me laugh a lot though!

crying with laughter here. The whole scenario... the wiping, the blaming, the post-it notes, the trip to the pharmacy. Hahaha.

It's 5:30am here and I've just woken DH shaking the bed I'm laughing so much, he thought I was upset and crying. Thank you all for sharing, I don't dare go and reread the fatball thread, will save it for later.

But what about the minty face wash?

Please don't tell us it is mouthwash?

My sil had been using bathroom wipes to clean her bum after going to loo

Hooked Haha! No it's tea tree. The mouthwash kept in a different place from the face wash so no chance of a mix-up.

These are hilarious. When I was a teenager and still lived with dps I used to dye my hair pillar-box red. I used a colour enhancing shampoo that had semi permanent red dye in to help stop it from fading. It took df quite a while to realise that his greying hair was gradually turning a lovely shade of pink.

My dad once wiped his arse with a Flash wipe.

He came out of the loo, wincing slightly, and told my mum that he didn't think much of the baby wipes on the cistern. She said there weren't any baby wipes on the cistern, then quickly realised what he'd done