DH has been cleansing his face ... with anti-bacterial bathroom wipes.

[ChristmasCabbage]

We've always had face cleansing wipes in the bathroom cupboard that both DH and I use. DH isn't what you'd call 'metrosexual' and not at all into skin care. He commutes by Tube and uses the wipes to get off the grease and grime before a wash.

A couple of weeks ago DH started to complain that his skin was feeling dry and really sore. We put it down to cold weather and central heating and thought no more of it.

Since then, DH's face has seemed quite red at times. He's mentioned it being dry a couple of times and we've chatted and agreed that nothing's changed (washing powder, face wash, wipes etc.) so it must just be the cold snap.

Today DH has called me from work and said he's thinking of going to the Drs as his skin was burning last night and is really red today. He asked could I please go to the bathroom (I'm working at home) and tell him the name of the face wipes and wash as he can only describe them to the Dr as the 'green minty smelling face wash' and the wipes 'in the navy blue packet'- as I said, no real interest in face care.

I was a bit struck as our face wipes are in a white packet. The only blue packet we have in the cupboard is anti-bac surface wipes.

Yep, that's right he's been cleansing his face every night with anti-bacterial surface wipes for about three weeks. I would't mind but the anti-bac wipes have got a picture of a sparkling, clean white bathroom on the front. Not to mention the fucking words 'Anti-bacterial Bathroom Wipes'

Once I'd finished laughing, it transpires it's somehow my fault for not letting him know. Silly me, I thought he was a 30 year old man who was able to read.

Reminded me very much of fat balls, especially when DH commented that the 'face wipes' did actually smell quite 'toilety'.

I went for a spray tan recently and only wore those paper knicker things while getting it done. It was only several hours after I'd got home and breastfed ds that I realised I should have kept my bra on. Poor ds had a brown chin and cheeks

Nomination for classics.....

Excellent work ChristmasCabbages's DP

I once wondered why my hair was so lank and greasy when I got out of the shower; turned out I'd used after sun instead of conditioner so maybe it isn't limited to men.

"Men- do you want skin that is smooth, clean and it totally free of limescale? Use Harpic facial wash"

This thread is brill but I lost it at smelt of beef

Me too, Gastons!

I bought a massive bottle of some brilliant new pet-safe disinfectant for getting rid of the smell of dog wee in the garden and decanted some into a small bottle for my friend to try. Before anyone shouts, it was an empty washing-up liquid bottle, not an old water or squash bottle or anything daft like that, but it didn't stop her DH finding it in the car that evening and taking a swig of it!

At least he'll not smell of wee Spider

I am loving this....

I remember my dad always used to shave his head short but not completely bald.

I was downstairs on the computer and my mum shouted me upstairs and hissed "for gods sake don't laugh"

My dad had forgotten to put the guard on his razor and had shaved bald a stripe down the middle of his head. In his panic, he shouted my mum who in turned shouted me.

I nearly wet myself laughing it was hilarious. My mum started laughing and had to leave the room. My dad was like this . He was one of those who could dish it out but not take it back..

He ended up shaving it totally bald and was laughed at for weeks. I still laugh now thinking of it

My dad had a sore throat once so decided to gargle. He didn't have any TCP so decided that Dettol was much the same. So twice a day for a week he gargled with neat Dettol
Couldn't work out why his sore throat was getting worse not better.
When he couldn't even talk let alone swallow he went to the doctor. She examined him and was surprised to see the state of his throat, it was red, swollen & in a terrible state. She finally asked him if he'd taken any treatment at home. He proudly told her he'd been gargling Dettol. Apparently she turned white & just stared at him.
She said another day or so of Dettol would've damaged his throat irreparably.
He had about 6 weeks of being unable to talk properly or eat hard foods. And even now, a couple of years later, still gets sore throats a lot.
Silly silly man.

Oh my God Achy he was rather lucky then!

It was only that night, that she caught a glimpse of her lady parts in her dressing table mirror and realised to her horror that she hasn't spritzed herself earlier with Femfresh deodrant...she'd actually used my golden, glittery hairspray.

whoregasm that one's been around since I was a kid. I think your mum is telling "stories". Femfresh hasn't been about that long, for a start.

Yes,I've heard that one before.

Wombat87 my DP has done the same thing! We were staying in a hotel and there was a rather loud couple in the room next door, I held out two earplugs for him. He took them and put them in his mouth! He thought I was giving him some sweets. God knows what goes through their heads.

Dance I have honestly never laughed so much as that gem. It still makes me howl now when we relive it. He swallowed them too. In his drunk state he didn't realise. He then didn't remember it at all. He only believed me because I was laughing so hard.

He spent a few days checking his bowel movements. No sign of them. Hopefully they came out

Who posted about gold glitter hairspray on someones foof last night? Who?? I woke MrW up last night laughing at that one.

That got me as much the lady who posed her tiny baby on another thread haaahaaaa

When I was a pre-teen, my Mum explained to me that there were pads in the bathroom cupboard that ladies can put in their knickers when they have periods!
Mumsnet, Brillo pads are not suitable sanitary wear!!

DH once used my Veet hair removal cream to shave with.

Bright red sore face for days. Kept muttering about it being the same thing as shaving cream and how was he to know. Possibly because of the bloody warning not to shave with it printed on the can.

He also once ate a packet of dog chocolates and complained afterwards that I should stop buying pick and mix from cheap shops.

A short and confused conversation followed, ending with me pointing out that the 'pick and mix' came from the pet shop and had pictures of paw prints stamped into the chocolate.

I'm not sure who was more fed up, DH or the dog.

Er...you know Avon Skin So Soft? Best insect repellent on the planet? It comes in standard and gradual tan. I know this now. I also know that trying to bleach it out with a paste made from Vanish really fucking hurts.

runs away

To be fair, when I stayed with my parents recently and forgot to take my toiletries with me, I borrowed my mum's deodorant and wondered why the hell my armpits were crackling.

Turns out it was some kind of Ice Crackle Foot Spray. Not pleasant in your armpits. I wouldn't recommend it.

My dad moaned about the jerky I'd bought. It was locust bean treats for the Guinea pig. The main bag had split so I popped that and its contents into a food bag. He apparently didn't read it...

I always wondered why those little sachets of silica gel have 'do not eat' printed on them.

Who, I thought, would be fucking stupid enough to find a small pouch of an unknown substance and decide the best thing to do with it would be to eat it?

Well, thanks to this thread, know I know.

*now I know, even.

To add to the "it's not just men" posters, I once mistook my small white tube of astringent acne cream for a tube of canestan. Christ on a bike that hurt.

But not as much as the time DH decided he wanted to grow some scotch bonnet chillies, so spent an afternoon deseeding a load of them. Without wearing gloves. It took me a few seconds to realise what was causing the nasty burning sensation during an amorous moment later that evening

millions it sounds like your foof has put up with a lot over the years!