Should I be mad at my mum

[Brodiemummy]

I'm struggling with money as I've just started my own business but she gave me some money to help get stuff for me and my son like she does every month she takes half of it away witch makes me struggle and I end up feeling like I have to spend all my money when I get it just so she won't use it thing is she doesn't even ask she just takes it and then I end up struggling to even look after my son,

Your post isn't clear.

Why is she giving you money every month in the first place?
How is she just taking it back? Are you talking about cash in an envelope or something?

I don't really understand your post. Your mum gives you money as you are struggling, but you don't spend it each month so she asks for it back? I am not sure why that is an issue as it sounds like she gives you money each month which is kind of her, and presumably the months you do need it and are struggling then you spend it all.

I think you need to financially disentangle yourself from your mum. It's not her responsibility to fund your life. Being financially independent will mean her financial decisions have zero impact on you.

I can’t quite work out what’s going on here. Your mum is giving you money every single month and then is taking it back again? So you want to spend your money quickly so she can’t?

If you’re struggling for money and providing for your son and needing handouts from her, is your business doing ok? Could you get a salaried job instead?

Does she live with you? Is she paying you digs or something?

Well i sell on vinted and post on tiktok but like that isn't going too well right now

Well it's like I'm trying to look after my son she gets paid but she spends it all on Amazon so she takes my money because she spent all hers in the first few days after being paid and then says I spend all my money when I still had some to try cope rest off month

But why is your mum giving you money then taking it back op? Do you live with her and pay her rent? Or does she live with you??

Stop taking money from your mum and stop giving it to her. Keep your finances separate. If you’re struggling for money up your hours at work or start looking for a new job.

Selling on Vinted and posting on Tik Tok is not the same thing as “ starting a business “ Im afraid it’s at best a side hustle or hobby. If this is your only source of income then I’m afraid you’re going to have to get real and go and get yourself a proper job. You can still post in your spare time. Once you’re earning actual money then you can disengage from whatever your mum is doing.

It sounds like giving and taking money doesn't work for you two. You need to take money out of this relationship and pay for your own things.

How does she even manage to take your money?

It sounds like everything is online rather than cash, so just stop whatever access she has to your bank account.

Not really sure under what circumstances your mum is giving you money so its harder to advise on that.

I can't get a proper job

Why can't you get a proper job?
Are you living with your mum? You sound very young.
Do you have a college who can give you some careers advice? Maybe a course or apprenticeship? They might be options too for childcare places.

You need to block your mum from accessing your money.
Have you tried going to the council or citizens advice to explain in detail the situation?
On the average month:
How much money coming in is your mum’s? What account is it put in?
How much money coming in is yours? What account is it put in?
How much of her money does your mum give you? Cash or bank transfer?
How much of your money does your mum take from you, and how is she doing it?

How does your mother have access to your money?

Why can’t you get a proper job? Do you live with your mum? I can’t see how she can take your money.

Well, I'm totally confused!

How does she take your money?

I don’t really understand your post sorry but do you live with your dm? why is she giving you money ?and how does she have access to your money? Why can’t you get a job?

You need to be more clear. Does your mum have direct access to your money? If so, why?

If she’s giving you her own money to try to help you out then you need to look at ways to either increase your income or decrease your spending.

You can’t blame your mum for being bad with money, get online and find courses you can complete to learn about budgeting etc.

Ulitimately your mum is not responsible for topping you up, and spending your money so that you ‘need’ hers is taking advantage of her

Can you better explain your situation? Are you living at your mums? How would she have access to your money? Are you on benefits? Why can't you get a job?

It seems like OP is saying that her mum tops her up, unless she makes her own money, then her mum gives her less. Basically her mum is essentially doing what UC does. So OP is wasting her own money so that her mum tops her up still

Why not?