Should I be mad at my mum

[Brodiemummy]

I'm struggling with money as I've just started my own business but she gave me some money to help get stuff for me and my son like she does every month she takes half of it away witch makes me struggle and I end up feeling like I have to spend all my money when I get it just so she won't use it thing is she doesn't even ask she just takes it and then I end up struggling to even look after my son,

I read it more like her mum gives her an advance, but when OP’s money comes in her mum takes half which ends up leaving OP short more than the advance. It is not at all clear.

I have a feeling this may be a young woman whose UC and child benefit is being paid into her mum’s account and her mum is mismanaging it.

Possibly.

Definitely one to be speaking with Citizens Advice or some kind of financial education service though. Got to be educated in order to take control of your finances

Hi @Brodiemummy. It’s a bit hard to follow your post. You say your mum gives you money and she takes yours. Can you walk us through a typical cycle , for example your money comes in, then what happens?

Whatever it is it sounds like it would be better if you could get some regular work as would be easier to manage on regular money coming in, and make sure your money comes direct to you and your mum does not have access to it. Do you live with your mum as that might make it harder to be separate.

How is your mum accessing your money? Do you not have a bank account with your incoming going into there? Are you on benefits is she your appointee? How old are you? Im guessing your disabled if you cannot work. Need to explain more otherwise its to vague to help

Any need?

How can she take your money? Does she have access to your bank account or something?

Also why can't you get a proper job?

Why can’t you get a proper job?

How can your mum just take your money?

Your posts are really confusing. Can you just write one reply with some clear information in?

Please everyone be careful with how you respond- I have a feeling this is an extremely young mum .

poster - do you have another adult or parent that can give you advice?

I have my dad but at time of posting he is at an event and he also struggles with money too and yes that is one of reasons I don't have a job because I'm trying to stay home with my son

How old are you?
As I have already suggested, can you contact your local college? How old is your son? You might want to stay home with him but the reality for many people is they have to go back to work! Speak to your college about courses that might interest you and could help you get into a job. If you are on certain benefits you might also get free childcare places (our local college did this and the nursery was based on site so easy to access).
Surely you can't live in this situation long term.

We would all like to stay home with our children but life doesn’t work like that. If you have a child to support you need to get a job, a proper paying job not just TikTok and Vinted. TIkTok and Vinted rarely pay enough for rent/mortgages/gas/electricity/child care/food/clothing etc.

I understand wanting to stay home with your child too but that's something that typically needs a lot of planning in advance. I'm sure your parents didn't agree to parent a child with you and it sounds like you are expecting too much from them.

Where do you hope you and your child will be in a years time?

I'm assuming you’re a teen and living with your mum? If your business isn’t doing well then I’m also assuming you’re on UC? Firstly, don’t accept any money off your mum, if she takes it back anyway then there isn’t a point just budget what income you do get and if she asks don’t give her any. Also there are jobs you could do if you wanted to, there’s night work whilst your child is sleeping, there’s the option to work/apprentice in a nursery where you could bring your child with you, you will also be entitled to childcare if you’re working. I understand you want to stay home and start your own home working business but if it isn’t working, you need to go out to work if you can’t manage on what your income is now

OP @Brodiemummy Can you explain a little more how your mum has access to your own money? And how it goes to and from between you.

Do you have any support outside home? Social worker, midwife (don’t know how old your son is), sibling, other family member?
if you can be a little clearer on the situation, we may be able to signpost you better in to getting some support/help for the future.

I don't really get an income I'm under 16 so not many jobs really

What do your school suggest? If you are under 16 you should still be in education.

Are you getting any money from your child's father?

I hadn't appreciated how young you are. You really need to focus on getting your GCSEs or equivalent if you want to have a better future and find work.

How old is your Son? Would you be better claiming CB? Put your name on the housing list.

Have you thought about applying for Care to Learn so you can go back to school and get your GCSEs.? Your education is important not just for you but for your baby too.
https://www.gov.uk/care-to-learn

She is under 16 too.young to live alone and look after a baby

Bless you. I’d suggest asking your social worker to help you navigate budgeting and support you in as many practical ways as they can.

With you being under 16 you can’t claim anything but your mum should be claiming on your behalf.

She would not get rehoused anytime soon.... so it was a thought for OP to plan ahead. It doesnt sound quite right.

Are you claiming UC @Brodiemummy

How old is your son? At your age you should be at school, not worrying about earning money. Your parents should be providing for you. There are also benefits available to you (ask your social worker or citizens advice). How old is your child's father? If he's an adult he should also be paying something.