How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

Disabled kids/big families/immigrants caused that yeah?

Write as many paragraphs as you like, what are you actually saying? How should the scroungers be dealt with?

Reform?

Yes but lets be honest he was the exception to the rule. Nobody is saying he didn't achieve anything. Most disabled people (according to mumsnet) can't find anyone to employ them so going to uni does seem a bit of a waste of time.

That's not my opinion - that is what I read here from people who have disabled children or are disabled themselves. Nobody will employ them.

The country would be a lot better if some people were too scared to say what they think - unfortunately it’s full of people desperate to tell us all what they think & rarely do their thoughts have any basis in fact.

Guess you'd need to be..

No, he isn’t the exception to the rule. You do understand that people can be physically disabled and it not affect their intelligence one iota, do you? And that physical disabilities often cost the person a lot of money to just exist comfortably in the world.

This 100%.
Some horrible comments here there’s nothing like kicking people when they’re down is there. The op has already explained her predicament and all the whys, they were in a good position and fell on hard times it could be any one of us why so much nastiness?
You never know what’s around the corner remember that.

Personally I think 5 children on one income is too much for anybody, disabled or not, unless they are Beckhams.

Many of us only had two or one because life is unpredictable and illness/disability/ job loss can strike at any time.

Agree and even if anyone was correct about her right to have children or not, they’re here now and she’s asking for advice on finances, not asking for advice on whether it’s too late to abort five children aged 11 and over.

I think this is really true, lots of people woukd like big families, and had to stop at 1 or 2 because of finances.

5 children without disabilities would be a push for many working families to afford.

My child has a very rare heart condition. It’s life limiting yet they can’t claim a penny. Its not classed as a disability. It makes me fucking sick that op had 5 kids. I said upthread that I only had 2 kids. All that I could afford to, to have a good life with them. And yes child with heart condition was second child. No one gives a shit about us though. No help whatsoever.

No, just wondering why someone is so fucking miserable when they are 'fine'.

This poster begrudges paying high tax to fund 'big scrounging families'?

And this poster is not shy about questioning the op and her circumstances, I want to know about their life and we should judge whether their moaning about paying tax is valid or are they just unhappy with their own lot and are trying to blame it on someone else?

I am wondering this too. Why would you have 5 children in this circumstances?

This is a working family.

@HardToTrust my parents were born when there was no NHS. If you were poor, as my ancestors were, if there was no charitable organisation to offer medical care you died. How wonderful is that?
No welfare state, you went into the workhouse. Again, from doing my family tree, I can see many had to do just that. When my grandmother's second husband died, she was widowed already when she met him,she was threatened with her children being taken from her and placed in a children's home. Fortunately, both of her husbands had been in the Navy and Army at different times and she was awarded a small pesion that allowed her to keep the family together. That's what we would be reduced to, if there was no welfare state. The rich would do get medical treatment and have the means to live. The rest of us wouldn't.

If they could claim a penny, would you take it?

The dh works away at weekends at least once a month.

A lot of disabilities do not manifest until later in life. A PP also mentioned a heartbreaking story of where all the children in a family were disabled following a road accident.

So it’s really not as simple as you make out.

Why 5 children?!!! Were you millionaires?
My husband and myself bring in over 250k between us and I’d never consider that level of expense. Especially if everyone is disabled!

OP came here for advice (or to moan). In her opening post she said she can't work because of sleep deprivation. What other advice can she get apart from getting a job?
It's legitimate that many people don't feel sympathy.
And maybe other people who read this thread and think about life choices will think better? if they know what the outcomes can be.

If they have care needs due to their heart condition then it should be possible. Sometimes you have to go through mandatory reconsideration and all the way to tribunal unfortunately.

Even my MP couldn’t help and they certainly did their best but thank you. I appreciate your comment.

Not on their own no. We have an NHS we can no longer afford. We have a triple lock we can no longer afford. We have such low frontline police numbers that shoplifting is a way of life for many because no penalties for doing it.

We have low growth and a stagnant economy because lots of people instead of working/starting their own company are sitting on benefits

We have a soft government unwilling to be honest with people and say how bad things are. In fairness to KS he did try to get welfare reformed but his back benchers wouldn't allow it.

The BOE can't raise rates because of low growth but they can't lower rates due to inflation. So we end up in a very bad place called stagflation.

Any country that can't afford to pay the interest on it's debt (never mind actually paying the debt down) can't afford anything unless there is a payback.

Perhaps quite frighening to think about (no scrap that, very frightening to think about) but people refusing to face up to reality is not going to make it go away is it.

Honestly losing their disabled benefits are going to be the least of their problems when the shit hits the fan. The UK is going to have to live like a third world country until they can repay their debt and return to financial viability.

As to what happens to them I have no idea. All of us will be too busy scrapping like rats in a barrel as life gets very hard. Remember covid, people shopping their neighbours to the police and stripping supermarkets of stock. Nobody cared if someone else suffered they were just looking out for themselves. It is human nature. Charity dries up very quickly when shit hits the fan.

None of this is my opinion. I just watch alot of current affairs and financial documentaries about the UK decline.

Tbf, I think that poster needs to be educated about disability, as do many others on this thread. It is sad, but it is threads like this, that reveal so much ignorance from the general public, regarding disabled people, and how they are viewed. Very sad.

But why have 5 children at all in these times? Disabilities or not.

Anyway, I think the only option for the OP is to work after her DH gets home.