How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

Do you need to sign up via Reddit or can you just sign up yourself? Thanks

I grew up with A high functioning autistic mum so I had no idea my kids behaviours were not ,normal’ . It was my normal. I have one extremely intelligent asd child not diagnosed until 14 when she slit her writs. Not everything is straight forward.

I think I have noticed a few derogatory comment about working at McDonald's from you. Give over with the snobbishness.

The childten at uni

Why cant they travel via bus, coach, megabus, flixbus, train or car share with other people at uni ?

Should be eligible for student discount on travel

That was kind of the point of my post, dont you think?

The dream of people just living together, collectively making sure everyone has what they need, not caring about personal gain?

But like I very clearly said, it's just a dream.

Autism is a disability regardless of what severity they have.

You said that severely disabled people cannot be smart. That if you are disabled enough to need help you can't possibly be intelligent enough to be in higher education.

I think that deserves a good old fashioned fuck you, frankly.

I'm fine. I work full time. :)

Strangely, the answer to OP's headline is a novel, inspirational, new, fresh idea....

Get a job.

It results in something called money. Not free money, but money nevertheless.

I think you will find it's the UK and it's taxpayers that are getting fucked.

If someone is well enough to go to uni and live independantly and get a job after then that is great. Well done them.

My question would be if they are able to do all that why do they need benefits. I mean they are functioning like adults are meant to. Adults are meant to be self reliant.

We have hundreds and hundreds of stories getting told on mumsnet and other places about people too sick to work, but caught off on an activity holiday. Or too mentally ill to come out of their room but well enough to see their friends.

A country that is currently financially unviable ie borrowing to pay interest on it's debt (so technically insolvent) should be paying next to no benefits.

Only because I was too old to have any more. In ideal circumstances I would have like four.

They dont get doled out for every little
It doesnt go off diagnosis it goes off need
You can have a multitude diagnoses and not meet the criteria for disabillity benefits

Some really are unlucky. I have three out of four disabled DC. We don't choose this life!

What do you think PIP is for?
Many disabled people go to uni and live independently , and it is PIP that allows them to do so. Take that payment away, and they might not have been able to go to uni, work, or have any sort of life.
You could end up needing it yourself one day.

It's almost like some people forget that PIP = personal independence payment.

No. I will not stop it.

Everyone needs to hear it and understand it. The world said never again. It has happened time and time again.

Recognise what a slippery slope we are sitting on.

I feel for you. But. But you have 2 children going to university. That in itself is amazing. That's a win.
And whilst I feel for you, I have struggled health wise and HAD to work. No choice. No benefits. Zilch. So the other side of the coin. It's been no picnic i can tell you. Some days I get 3hr sleep. Had to learn to live with it and still turn up at work with pain and in tons of tablets. Because I had to work.

Now you are saying your children's needs mean you cannot work. I assume they get dla. You get carers and uc. And a salary from husband. If the older ones are ill, they can get pip plus all the universities offer to help them, plus more subsistence?

The only way you will know if someone will pay you is to get out there and start looking. Then the only way you will know if you can do a job is trying it and seeing if it works. Being a sahm is an absolute luxury imo. I'm sorry not sorry im not more empathetic but I do feel you are saying all this for people to say no, stay on benefits. But I feel even if you tried it, thats better than just expecting to be paid for all the disabled children you have. Oh how I would love to have that luxury of popping them out whenever I felt the need.

Absolutely agree, nobody chooses to have a DC with additional needs and there is not enough support for children with additional needs. The system is not working.
I think perhaps what some posters are finding hard is that OP did make a choice to have four children. In modern terms that is a large family with or without additional needs. Personally I would have loved to have had a third child but we didn't because we couldn't have afforded it without the third child affecting what we could offer the two we had.

Unfortunately given that you are already getting quite a lot of DLA & pip etc, you may need to find more work.

Id also suggest you can't really afford your DC to be at university - it's incredibly expensive. They need to be working to contribute keep at home. If they can manage university there must be some form of work they can manage.

Pip is a non means tested allowance payable to anyone whose disabilities mean they need help, support, aids or adaptations to live their life.

You can be disabled enough to need help - maybe a wheelchair, maybe support staff, maybe aids that help you communicate. Perhaps you are incontinent and need supplies. Maybe you need specialist equipment, etc.

Maybe you can only go to uni with those aids. Perhaps you can only keep that job with that support.

Maybe you need a little extra input in order to enable you to have a life, have a job and without that, you would indeed be unable to go anywhere or do anything. That extra help is what gives you the independence you have, even if its not total independence

Are you unable to understand that?

With your DH working part time, claiming UC for 5 including 3 with disabilities and caring element and probably carers allowance too you must be getting a fair wack of cash. Does your DH claim carers allowance too?

You work full time, do you earn enough money though?

You say you are fine, thats good but do you live comfortably?

Do you own your own house?

Drive, go on holiday, buy new clothes, up to date with all your bills? No debt?

Dear Lord, some of you need to have a word with yourselves and thank your lucky stars!

My 23yr old is disabled. Autism, moderate LD, limited capacity to work etc.

He seemed perfectly healthy at birth,

He followed standard development then lost all speech at 15 months.

it happens.

I had 8 years out of work to support him. I’m now back in work as he is my only child thanks to fertility issues. imagine if I’d had 2-3 more children before diagnosis (when he was 8) though. As there seems to be a genetic component to autism this could have been my situation.

Turns out I’m autistic too but do not have LD (lucky me).

OP, the drop in income is rough as you still have children at home. I’d be looking at lunchtime supervisor stuff in terms of work. It won’t bring in much extra but you’ll still be better off. plus you’ll keep Carers Allowance .

With two in uni that should relieve some pressure as long as they get enough support there.

Omg what an absolutely terrifying suggestion! Everyone on the thread will need therapy!

Also - while you can't predict your children having disabilities, having 4 of them planned (and a 5th unplanned) on one income are exceptionally poor choices. Unfortunately that is your bed to lie in.