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Ex moved abroad to avoid maintenance

85 replies

SarahFreshwater · 22/06/2022 19:12

My daughter is turning 2 next year and her father told me he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby once I told him I was pregnant and wouldn't support her financially but eventually helped out once she was born but didn't play an active role in her life until recently when he told me he was moving abroad and would no longer support us.

I had a look into what I could do to get some sort of financial support as times are tough and the cost of living just keeps rising, I'm worried I'll struggle to support us long term as we're really struggling now, does anyone know how the REMO process works? I have no idea where he's moved to and am terrified we'll be left to fend for ourselves in the long term. Will they locate him? Other forums have said the cms aren't detectives and won't locate him

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 10:14

You do need permission but I’m guessing this guy isn’t on the birth certificate given he didn’t want the child!

BiscoffSundae · 25/06/2022 10:14

femfemlicious · 25/06/2022 10:12

The most annoying thing is they turn up after all the hard work is done expecting to be treated as a father just because of the sperm they contributed...its just sickening!

Not always

JuneJubilee · 25/06/2022 10:14

I was on the pill but forgot to take it a few times, it wasn't intentional but I don't regret becoming a mother at all. He was aware I was on the pill but wasn't aware I'd forgotten to take it

Then I've lost all sympathy, you lied by omission & thought he'd change his mind to suit your plans to have a child. Now you want him to pay for a child you tricked him into fathering. Dispicable. No wonder he feel trapped & tricked, he was. He was an idiot to have sex with you, but it doesn't make what you're trying to do acceptable.

stop your carping, tracking him diwn & trying to make him pay, sort your life out and at least start trying to do your best for your daughter you've chosen to have

JFC

gfwantsmoney · 25/06/2022 10:16

femfemlicious · 25/06/2022 10:12

The most annoying thing is they turn up after all the hard work is done expecting to be treated as a father just because of the sperm they contributed...its just sickening!

But he didn't contribute his sperm. She took it under false pretences (she forgot the pill and didn't say anything)

gfwantsmoney · 25/06/2022 10:18

Thanks. I didn't know that.

Frazzled2207 · 25/06/2022 10:21

Are you absolutely sure he will go abroad - I mean it might be just convenient to tell you that and hope you don’t bother locating him.
are you in touch with any of his friends and family?
sadly I think you need to be prepared to not receive another Penny from him. What a tw*t. I’m sorry.

PrincessMeg · 25/06/2022 10:24

I’m sorry you lied about being on the pill to him? I have absolutely no sympathy now and think you’ve got some cheek to ask for child support.

SnappingAtHeels · 25/06/2022 10:32

gfwantsmoney · 25/06/2022 10:18

Thanks. I didn't know that.

No problem. TBH the only reason I know is because a friend fell foul of it when trying to go for a very much wanted and needed holiday to an all inclusive after recovering from breast cancer. It was a hideous stress.

Blokesside · 23/10/2025 05:36

You women are all twisted individuals commenting on the clearly baby trapped father and not taking into account anything else. His emotional health, the pain this poor man went through

Lifestooshort71 · 23/10/2025 16:57

Blokesside · 23/10/2025 05:36

You women are all twisted individuals commenting on the clearly baby trapped father and not taking into account anything else. His emotional health, the pain this poor man went through

I actually agree but let's not resurrect a zombie thread to discuss it, eh?

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