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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

just been told ive miscarried.

65 replies

DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 17:55

what do i do?
Hormone levels were 406 on monday, today they are 100 and something. I started bleeding this morning a little and really hoped it was nothing but no, apparently my pregnancy is over.

Im falling apart here. Help x

OP posts:
AKMD · 13/06/2012 17:57

I'm really sorry Dany :( Do you have someone with you at the moment, or someone you could call to come to you?

Psammead · 13/06/2012 17:57

I am so sorry Sad

Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes a pregnancy was just not meant to be. How far along were you?

Also, the miscarriage board on here is very helpful.

JaneFonda · 13/06/2012 17:59

Oh you poor thing, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. :(

There's nothing that you should do - just take care of yourself. If you can stay in bed for days and feel like doing nothing but crying, then do that.

You mustn't blame yourself, you know.

Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:00

6 weeks, i already have a dd, my dp is here so am not alone. Really thought it would all be fine. i was wrong x

OP posts:
WhereMyMilk · 13/06/2012 18:01

So sorry to hear this.

From my experience, nothing will help that empty feeling right now. Just treat yourself carefully. Rest, take pain killers, hot water bottle. Cry as much as you want-with a best friend or DH.

You will feel better, but that old adage time.

Take care of yourself,x

nellie02 · 13/06/2012 18:01

Oh no, really sorry for your loss :(

take it easy, rest up and give yourself time to come to terms with it.

ErikNorseman · 13/06/2012 18:01

I'm sorry :( be kind to yourself xxx

SarahStratton · 13/06/2012 18:03

I'm so sorry Dany, as others have said, be kind to yourself xxx

Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:04

jane its all i seem to be doing atm x

OP posts:
FairToMiddlin · 13/06/2012 18:05

Oh Dany - I am so sorry for your loss.Sad

Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:06

jane its all i seem to be doing atm x

OP posts:
AKMD · 13/06/2012 18:11

Do you have someone who could take care of your DD while you have a bit of time?

Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:27

I keep thinking I can't be though, aside from the bleeding, shouldn't I be in agony? (Not that I want to be)

Thanks for your kind messages, just sent DP to the chip shop. Can't be bothered with cooking tonight. I keep saying sorry to him, he says I have nothing to be sorry for but I feel like I do. I feel awful, this is killing him I can tell.

OP posts:
JaneFonda · 13/06/2012 18:31

What would your advice be to a friend who had just lost her baby? Would you blame her, and think it's her fault?

I'm willing to bet you wouldn't. It's no different in your situation, although I know it certainly feels like it.

You'll go through a whole rollercoaster of emotions, and that's okay. Although your DP has had a loss too, you don't need to apologise to him; of all the people in the world, he knows there was nothing you could have done.

MrsHelsBels74 · 13/06/2012 18:32

So sorry Dany.
I had a miscarriage last year & apart from a vague nagging doubt that something was up I had no idea. I was about 8 weeks & had a scan & yes the foetus had stopped developing. No bleeding, no real pelvic pain, nothing.

I had a medicated miscarriage as I wanted it all to be over as quickly as possible. It was a very unpleasant experience & my heart goes out to you.

Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:33

You're right Jane I wouldn't.

Keep thinking its my own fault for telling a few people and putting my pliko back to pram mode. Silly things like that like I think I have jinxed it or something, how stupid is that.

OP posts:
Original poster
DanyTargaryen · 13/06/2012 18:34

They've told me to do a pregnancy test in 2 weeks and call them with the result.

Whats a medicated miscarriage?

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 13/06/2012 18:36

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but I know from experience there isn't.

MrsHelsBels74 · 13/06/2012 18:38

A medicated miscarriage is where they give you medication to remove the embryo rather than wait for your body to expel it naturally (sorry if it sounds a bit clinical).

I totally blamed myself for jinxing the pregnancy & also felt like I had to apologise to my husband. But honestly there is nothing you could have done, at this early stage it's most likely down to genetics not being quite right & this would have been decided almost at conception.

JaneFonda · 13/06/2012 18:38

Oh Dany, you poor thing. Of course you haven't jinxed it, you know that really.

There are people who announce their pregnancy to the entire world the moment they get a positive result, and there are those who tell no one until several months later. Some of those women will have a miscarriage, and some won't - telling someone about it won't have made any difference.

I know it's tough, but think about the positive side - you have a gorgeous DD. Give her a big cuddle. :)

DameHermione · 13/06/2012 18:45

Dany. So sorry Sad.

I think that having told people is no bad thing. At least they will know and grieve with you. And be there for you.
Be gentle and kind to your self.

fanjodisfunction · 13/06/2012 19:02

dany I've had two miscarriages at 6 weeks and they hurt a bit but not as I was expecting, I cried and cried, I blame myself also, we carry the baby its hard not to.
I also suffered a stillbirth last year, life can be very cruel and unfair.
Just let the grief carry you, punch things if you need to, DH let me punch his chest a couple of times

YardBroom · 13/06/2012 19:06

so very sorry, take care xx

YardBroom · 13/06/2012 19:07

And sorry for the others on this thread who have losses too.

tedmundo · 13/06/2012 19:10

Oh Dany I am so sorry for your loss.

It might be best to prepare for pain if you do start to miscarry naturally. did the hospital send you away with any codeine? this was the only thing that could touch the pain for me when I was having my MC.

Even though I had a huge bleed, I still had to have an ERPC so be prepared for this. It knocked me sideways as I presumed after such a big bleed, and the bleeding had stopped, I was finished.

Sorry this is practical advice. emotionally, I stayed quite cold and calm as the current DCs are not babies and I was scared of freaking them out.

I truly hope you feel better soon. Take care.