just been told ive miscarried.

[DanyTargaryen]

what do i do?
Hormone levels were 406 on monday, today they are 100 and something. I started bleeding this morning a little and really hoped it was nothing but no, apparently my pregnancy is over.

Im falling apart here. Help x

All of those things that you are feeling are totally normal. One in four pregnancies result in miscarriage, unfortunately it is so common, but don't blame yourself. I think the hardest part of it is letting go of all of those hopes and dreams that you have already created in your head. Do cry, and allow yourself to feel sad and angry. I found that people were so kind to me when they found out, I had a later miscarriage so many people knew and I had men come up to me at work, give me a hug and tell me about their own experiences.

No was told over phone as had blood test earlier today and sent me home to await results.

Very sorry to hear that :(

Dany, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Please, please don't blame yourself. xx

I'm really scared as the bleeding seems to be stepping up a gear now (sorry tmi) lady on phone didn't mention anything about medicating it, just said "im sorry you've miscarried" she did sound really sorry though, like there was anything she could have done.

This was a planned and very much wanted baby, even though dd is only 11 months, we thought it might take longer to concieve seeing as dd took over a year, so we started earlier and I caught within a few months this time.

What will happen when the MC is over, will my periods go back to normal or will they be muddled for a bit.

I'm sorry I'm asking an awful thing its like I'm saying "oh well when can I start on the next one" and I don't mean to make it sound like that cause I know I need to grieve for this baby first. Don't I?

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Also can someone get this moved to a more appropriate place? I don't know how to do it.

dany firstly to get the thread moved report your post to mumsnet and they will move it for you.

secondly, through my experiences of two 6 week miscarraiges, they were very similar to a period but with more cramping, but everyone is different. I went back to normal periods, well excpet the next one always came a bit early.
If you are in pain take paracetamol, if its not enough then ring your doctor for some advice.

Im so sorry you are going through this, and dont be sorry about thinking of the future. Its all normal. You had planned the baby it didnt work out so its natural that you are thinking about ttc'ing the next one, it doesnt mean you didnt love the baby you just lost. And that doesnt matter how many weeks it was.

My last miscarriage was two cycles ago, we started again straight away, AF is due monday, so we shall see if we have go it this month.

Good luck on your journey.

I have reported your post & asked for it to be moved to the pregnancy section.

The reason my miscarriage was medicated was because nothing had started naturally, it sounds like yours is already underway.

I found it helped me personally to not think of what I lost as a baby, it was a collection of cells which never got going, it sounds harsh to some maybe but it worked for me.

My cycle returned to normal fairly quickly afterwards although my first period was a little heavier than normal.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to start TTC as soon as possible, my hospital said to wait until you've had at least one 'normal' period so that they can date it easier. I wanted to start trying straight away as I knew being pregnant again would help, especially when the due date that never was came by. I'm very lucky & am now 6 months pregnant again.

Just take each day slowly for now, you don't have to decide anything right now. X

Fanjo, the only pain I have really had is on Monday when i went to a and e thinking I had an ectopic, that pain has gone now, I had some backache yesterday when the bleeding started, I'm terrified its going to really hurt as i do quite often get very painful periods anyway, mostly since i had dd they can get quite bad,.

dany try not to worry, I thought my miscarriages were going to be really painful and they were not. The worry of what is going to happen or is happening can be worse than just letting it happen, if that makes sense.

TMI I remember it not being painful just different as in lots more tissue rather than blood.

So sorry for your loss. xxx

not sure if this will help probably wont but not sure if your feeling the same thing.

I was expecting the miscaraiges to be painful and when they werent I started to get upset because I wanted to feel pain, I didnt want it to be like another period. This was different it needed to be different.

I suppose what Im trying to get across is you will have alot of emotions, dont be afraid to speak about them, alot of ladies on here have been through it and have got out the other side and we will listen and not judge and help you through.

Its not your fault. It isn't.

Take time to mourn. When I miscarried at almost 6 weeks, in the week that I had known I was pregnant the pregnancy had become real, I had daydreamed and begun planning. I had visions of my children all playing together, going to school, going to weddings and having children. And then it was all taken away and I needed to mourn that and give myself time to sink a little.

Two things I wish I had done were acknowledge DH's pain too, it was his baby as well and he had done the same dreaming I had. He was just as broken up but felt he had to support me because I had the physical suffering as well.

Another is to have looked after myself a bit better afterwards, rested more and made sure after the first few days that I ate properly and healthily. I didn't and I ended up with a very low immune system and within three months of the miscarriage I had had strep throat which turned into scarletina, shingles and several colds. After a lifetime of being well it was a shock.

So sorry for your loss. I can totally understand grieving and thinking about trying again at the same time. You are in no way to blame. I lost one at just over 5 weeks. Bit crampy. Can you soak in the bath? Get painkillers?
In some ways at least if you have told some people they can be there for you now.
Putting on stern face. Do not even think of cooking for at least a week. I am not qualified but feel free to pretend I am!
Look after yourself op and know there are always hugs here from people who have similar experiences. (2mc here but 2 ddddc!)

Hi there, we've moved this into Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss. Hope you find the advice you need, OP

How are you doing dany? I went through this 3 months ago so understand how you feel. I miscarried at home and it did hurt but the pain didn't last for long. You can get codiene which really helps and helps you sleep too.

So so sorry for you, I too had felt quite positive before mine, have dd also and conceived really easily, felt my body was just in a baby mode..... Then mc comes and smacks you in the face, no ones fault but it doesn't stop it hurting, I've tried to push it to the back of my mind and think just one of those things but I'm pretty sure when/if af comes the flood gates will open, I find talking helps so these threads are great to get advice and empathy x

The bleeding is getting bad now, quite clotty. Obviously I am guessing that is normal given what is happening.

I went out earlier and boy was it a mistake. Lost it in Iceland and had to leave and come home. I managed to stock up with pads etc and thats it. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to go out.

I know this sounds awful, but does anyone know how long this process is going to take, I just want it to be over. Have only had small clots so far, am dreading what is still to come, if anything.

I sound so stupid I am sorry if I am offending anyone with my questions.x

hope you are Ok this evening Dany. thinking of you. This will prob be a tough night for you.

Remember if ANY time you feel it is too much, phone the gynae ward or just go to A and E. I was told over and over NEVER to feel like a burden. They are there for you. Also, please don't take the pain. They should give you something if you are waaaay beyond standard stuff.

Oh my, we crossed posts. In all honesty, it is prob going to get worse. large clots are normal, but will prob freak you out a bit. I was advised to sit on the toilet when the clots were coming thick and fast as the pads may not cope.

On a positive though, the truly heavy clotting lasted about 3 hrs and then tailed off.

Is your DH with you? Drink lots and stay on top of the painkillers. I know I keep banging on about this but if the pain is managed, you will feel more in control.

Thats the thing, the pain is not really that bad, it started to get quite crampy earlier so i took some cocodamol.
As I mentioned upthread I was told over the phone and all that was said is im sorry, x you have miscarried. so i burst into tears, she said im so sorry and asked if there was anyone with me so i said yes. (dp) just asked that i do a pg test in 2 weeks and phone them with results. I'm dreading that.do i really have to do it?
sorry got to go dd is stirring

she only wanted her dummy back anyway sorry that last post was a bit jumbled.

The pain for me wasn't as bad as I expected & I got through most of it without using the co-codamol.

I don't know if mine was different because it was medicated but I started bleeding in the afternoon, by about 10:30 that evening I passed what I assume to be the sac & it tailed off after that.

The following night I was sick & passed some more tissue & that was it then, physically at least.