Secret Santa gift has made me paranoid

[Nikki3009]

Not menopause related but it feels relevant to this thread, and I’m trying to work out if I’m being over sensitive!

We had our secret Santa at work today and everyone got lovely gifts, but I was given a handheld fan. I felt really embarrassed - why would you get a woman of a certain age something that screams ‘you’re going through menopause so you must be having hot flushes’. Not only that but we all gather round and open them in front of each other so I was mortified!

For context, we all give gift suggestions and this was definitely not on my list (I’d asked for a reed diffuser or a cookbook), its made me feel paranoid that I walk around the office looking hot and sweaty 😬 or that the woman who gave it to me was being mean.

Could this be the duffest secret Santa gift?

That is shit

Someone got a woman at my work a desk fan for secret santa but she loved and is well know for saying how hot the office gets in winter. If you don't comment on how hot your office is then it was definitely a gift in bad taste

Unless you all work in an office with no AC then it’s an ageist sexist “joke” gift sorry OP.

A friend of mine was given stretch mark cream one year as she is overweight . Which was also absolutely shitty .

cowards .

Are there other women of a similar age in the office? Perhaps another woman going through the menopause finds her fan super helpful and meant to be kind by getting you one too?

Agree with PP. If you haven't commented on the heat in the office then that's an atrocious gift.

I am constantly too hot. Also peri meno, but if someone bought a fan for me it would be perfect as I'm always asking to open the window!

Sorry you got such a crap pressie.

That is crap when you had a list. I too wouldn't read too much into it, do you often complain you are hot or fan yourself or open windows? I often complain I'm cold at work and always get scarves and gloves.

Unless someone has been on holiday to a fan producing country recently I guess

That’s bloody awful, your poor friend. I can’t imagine the thought process of someone who does something like that 🤬

Our office is generally cold in the summer because of the aircon so it’s either just a thoughtless gift, or a snidey joke

No, I haven’t commented and our aircon is so good that we’re more likely to be shivering and moaning that we’re cold!

I do actually know who the buyer was and I can’t work out whether it’s because she just couldn’t be arsed to get me anything so did a regift or if she was trying to be funny because of my age. Guess I’ll never know!

I know I’m being over sensitive, it’s my own embarrassment. I guess I just can’t work out why she wouldn’t pop to the nice supermarket (2 mins walk from our office) and pick up a decent present!

We don’t even work together or sit in the same part of the office so it’s definitely not that. She was either trying to be funny because of my age or she was getting rid of something she had knocking about at home!

That is shit, OP.

It could easily be a rubbish regift or a last minute random petrol station buy. There’s no point reading more into it than you have to (and if she was trying to be hurtful, this is how you win)

Fuuuuck. Whoever the arsehole was who did this, they deserve botulism from their Christmas turkey with violent runs until the New Year.

Rwgift it to her next year as you know who it is. A quick word with the SSanta organiser should ensure you need to get her a gift. Add a tena pad for good measure! (Just kidding!)

I wouldn't be offended ! I honestly would just think of it as any other gadget and quite fun . I had no idea a fan could offend

Well, I asked for a reed diffuser (something extremely easy to buy) and I got a handheld fan, bearing in mind it’s the middle of winter so it’s not even useful. So, yeah it’s either a mean age related joke or just a gadget she bought in the summer and didn’t use so thought she’d be a cheapskate and pass it off as a gift. Either way it’s crap and I personally wouldn’t treat a colleague like that!

Im not reading too much into it. Why take part in a secret Santa if you’re going to be a cheapskate and just get rid of some old tut you had at home? It’s a shitty thing to do and it was made worse by the fact that I am going through menopause so it could easily be a dig at my age

Hahaha such a good idea

That is crap.
What is the point of having a list if someone just palms off their unwanted crap?
I’d bide my time. Revenge is a dish best served cold. If you get her one year regift it back to her. Or some other crap you know she won’t appreciate.

My DD27 loves her hand held fan. My DGDs often borrow them. The giver may not have been being snarky!

I’m in my 40s and it wouldn’t occur to me to associate a fan with peri, and when I was younger hot flushes were completely off my radar. I think it’s just a naff / otherwise misjudged present. Definitely would not leap to some of the extreme reactions on this thread!

FWIW I chose my office secret Santa something I thought was lovely and she looked totally underwhelmed.

I’m in my early 50s so it wasn’t a huge leap to think it was age related.
I just don’t understand why someone would give me a fan in the middle of winter when I’d asked for a reed diffuser 😂

sorry to hear about your secret Santa - the main thing is you chose it with her in mind