I am stupid

[nutcracker]

Just that really, I am the most stupid person i know.

I think I thought that whatever I did he would always want me back, which i know makes me sound like i think alot of myself, but anyway, thats what I thought, but |I was wrong, and sooner than I thought too.

my exh told me he had shagged a friend of mine , after we split, because he wanted a reactiopn from me, but he didnt get one

you know thats what he wants from you nutty

He has shagged someone else (well sort of, long story), and tbh I honestly was not one bit bothered, but this , this is driving me up the wall, perhpas because I know her, I don't know.

I don't even think she has slept with him, it just bothers me anyway.

I feel like someone is making me sit and watch his life carry on, whilst mine is over.

I am jealous, which is so mad.

she was my friend, so i knew her too

admittedly not a close one but i know why he did it, because his drunken threats of suicide didnt work so he went seeking someone who gets just as pissed as him

i dont see her that often

it wasnt the first time he had bragged to me about his sexual exploits after we split, but it didnt work once

i didnt feel jealous i felt really sorry for him, it was all quite pathetic at his need to get others to validate him , and the lengths he went to to get my attention

Sory Lou, didn't know about that.

I just feel so dropped lol.

i just think its a sad way fo gaining your attention

saying well you didnt want me so im going to find someone who will do for now and rub your nose in it

he probably doesnt even like her that much, and it's all aimed at punishing you for leaving him

Yeah you are probably right, but it's working anyway.

He gets to life his life exactly how he wants to, and me I get to do nothing at all.

Am so sick of being me, good old nutty who won't mind if someone cancels a trip to the park, a visit to the kids, or who won't mind if a friend waffles on and on about how fab their life is whilst practically ignroing how shite mine is.

I can't be bothered anymore.

so then why be that erson if it makes you unhappy?
why not say no, tell someone you are annoyed etc?

you have to be accountable for your own happiness, because noone else will do it for you

Probably because i think i'll have even less friends then, although i am not sure that is technically possible.

I don't get it. I am a genuinlly nice person, or at least i think I am, so why does noone like me.

Oh nutty, get the wine out. And drink it and hobble to the shop to get more.
I can totally get where you coming from.
Xp went out last night, and before he went I was saying Have a nice time, make sure you have a laugh. And he text me at 3am. I didnt get it till 7am, but I woke up and thought bloody hell, heres me in my slippers listening to 2 kids bicker and you are out on the town Put me in a right mood.
I have 2 beers waiting for me.

Hiya charlie

Have drunk the wine lol, and can't hobble for more as no money and it's too far with 3 whinging kids in pj's.

Oh BUGGER I didnt have my beer yet coz I knew theres no more and no money either.
I will chat to you later on MSN. DD2 has been crying for 2 HOURS that shes hungry. She didnt eat her dinner and im only offering a banana and shes not happy....
2 hours later she still wont have the nana

On thursday or whenever it was when he had the kids, I though ha he still wants me, she has lost, which a) is so childish and b) is so stupid, but thats what |i though, cos if i'd asked hijm to stay (whichi had no intentoin of) he woukld of.

I don't think I know what I am doing anymore.

I am 30 next year and my life is a bigger mess than when I was 18, thats not right is it.

Oh no CC, if she's hungry she'll eat it, thats what i say to mine.

Can I ban myself from ringing mobile numbers by thwe way ?? I mean can my phoine company do it ?

Just DONT DO IT. Have restraint.
I know what you mean. I sometimes thing I dont know what im doing either. Its grim.

I have no restraint, my phonebill is oroof of thT, AM DREADING THIS MONTHS.

oPPS

what is your phone bill?

I dread to think. Was one the phone to him last week for nearly 3 hours, his mobile phone that is.

Am gonna have to seel some body parts to pay it i think/

omg What the FECK did you find to talk about for 3 hours? It will be thru the roof.
Omg, I will talk you round to getting into the tescos vouchers thing...then you dont need to cut your leg off!

from what you say it sounds as tho you wouldnt be any worse off telling your friends no once in a while

maybe the problem is you are so nice you get taken advantage of?

I know cc, am dreading getting the bill now, cos there is no way I can pay it and it i get cut off they will cut my internet off too.

That is exactly it Lou.

I have one friend who knows the situation at the mo and hasn't even bothered to ring, pop round or anything to see how I am, infact she even said we'd tale al the kids out last week and it never happened.

I am too nice.