**German Chat**everyone welcome* - macht es euch gemütlich

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reden wir weiter...

Gracelo: have you heard of Hugh Fearnly Whittingstall's Landshare Idea? Its a website where people either offer land for growing stuff or popele who want land sign up. It seems to be a success and quicker than any allotment planning application.

Here's the website. Give it a try.

landshare.channel4.com/

My God my head is going to explode trying to set up the fing internet modem thingy. I am lazy and always get dh to do it. We have waited 2 effing months since he decided to terminate our contract and not set up another,. Now he's bloody gone to London, breezily saying why don't I do it. The Vodaphone advert shows 2 women rushing from their shop & getting home and bingo. Bitter. So very not true. I have followed their "It's really easy!" instruction. I have sat in their queing system for 2 fing hours and I still cannot get the f*in thing to work. Not only is it frustrating but it really makes me feel stupid, and I'm not. Honest. I finally get through to some patronising arse who's asking me all these Q which make me look and feel stupid. Right down to what are you calling me on - "erm, a phone" "what sort of phone?" I'm wondering what does he mean, the make - phillips, the style - cordless. It's a fucking phone matey. Theyn he suggests he gets someone to ring me who can speak English and disappears. I am so depressed and intend to give up all technology forthwith. Forever. So Adieu. (Bastards. Vodaphone not you)

Sorry Ernest but I am sitting on the beach chuckling at your phone story. Lolol I hate technology sometimes too and I hate techies even more. The smug patronizing tone they use. You can tell that they are mentally patting you on the head.

Thanks MiaD, I might post a request there. Quite a few of our neighbours have extended their gardens into a piece of wasteland that backs onto OUR gardens (somewhat illegally I'm sure) and I would do that too and put raised beds in but there are lovely mature trees on our bit of wasteland.
Ernest, when we moved here it took weeks to set up our connection with BT. I was on the phone to some call centre in India for what felt like days. I don't know how often someone told me (read from the same script) how to plug in my computer while I kept saying "no no no I know how to start up a computer, really, I do!"

huh, completely accidential and random capitals in that posting

i'm a technophobe so absolutely no use to you with your computer/phone troubles - sorry!! but sending you some nice virtual franken wine to go with mme lindt's virtual choc!! hope you've got it sorted!!

loving the fruit here too - sorry gracelo!! we went strawberry picking this afternoon - kids had a ball but i was anxious they would keep trying to eat them so tld them they MUST not eat any!! well we were on our way to the car when i saw the sign - nibble (??naschen) "aber nicht satt essen" - didnt tell the kids this!!!!

been chuckling at a few of you posting about my good relationship with my ILs - oh if only you knew what had gone on before!!! she's so highly strung and attention seeking but i've realised if we go there and she can be in complete control of the plan for the day and what we eat etc then she's on great form!! and its obviously easier for me when i dont have to cook so i go along with it!! and them being a bigger part of the dc lives was a huge aspect of us moving to germany so i'm making the most of them - we had no family support in the UK!! when she'd had some wine on fri she was full of promises to have the kids for a week later in the year to let dh and i have a week in the sun!! i'm going to hold her to this!!!

Morning all.

Got to get on to the electricity/water board this morning to find out whether there has been a mistake with our meter readings. We have been informed that we have to pay an extra 1000chf on water/electricity over and above the 200chf a month that we pay. That is only since we moved in in October and not for heating, we have a oil heater for that and water.

We have also been informed that we are not getting kindergeld, after all the running about we did.

ARgh

Morning. Good luck with that ML

Just got call from Vodaphone. Dh apparently called them from London and made them call me. A man who was not patronising called me and talked me through it and actually spoke sence, not like dick head yesterday. It was so bloddy complicated though - I had to go through the same screen & password page 3 times, I mean I had no idea why and could see no logic to it, I just did what he said, no way would I have made head nor tail of it. Anyway, he was on mobile and I was in Keller, so kept cutting out, and just when we were rounding off he got cut off. Hope he doesn't think I put the phone down so never got to say thank you, or ask a couple of necessary Q but I don't know his name and don't want to sit in a queue for another 2 hours just to try and find a nice english speaking man to say ta and ask 2 more Q, so feel a bit bad.

But computer working !

Had nightmare doc appointment with ds3 last night. I always have our appts as early as poss, usually 8.30. Top tip, do not take 4 children to a docs appt when they've been to school all day, ended school with an exciting party and are stuffed full of sugar and e numbers, when the baby is tired and it's been raining forever so they have cabin fever. OMG How I didn't murder them I do not know. Even the doctor was being a pain in the arse. When dd (just turned 12 months) held up her arms to be picked up she barked in a scary commondant type voice 'Vork, Vork!' Then told me off for picking her up, she must learn to 'vork' like her brothers (who were busy smacking easch other with bits of wooden train set in the waiting room) nearly 2 effing hours and all she could say was he seemed to be responding to the growth hormone, and that the Krankenkasse would refuse to pay. Gah.

Now have to take dd to her U5 (for which I am 1 month late, oops) so she will have injections and be poorly.

Come home dh all is forgiven!

Then have to go into school (35km away again for end of year assembly). Anywone else having mad and manic week?

Oh, and will it ever stop raining?

Does anyone have sky? Ours usually goes off when it's stormy, but it's been off a whole week now. Anyone else got this? Can I fix it?

btw, feel chipper honest even if my post is moany, it's meant to be humourous. big smiles all round.

Ring Geoff from Bavaria Satellite - mate of mine. He'll fit a bigger dish which needs to be at least 90cm down here. I do lose the signal too sometimes also, but I think a bigger dish helps. I didnt lose the signal this time. Hell if that happened I'd have to watch Jirmin telly. Wouldnt want that.

Ernest
What a day, sounds like you need a sit down with a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Please ring Geoff and tell him that a guy you know from a parenting website told him to call. Say it is the mate who wears a dirndl if he does not know who you are talking about.

Our Sky was off too, but it was just a loose connection at the back of the TV so just as well we did not call a Geoff out to look at it.

will do that once we move but it's the home owners dish and dh wouldn't agree to messing about with it. don't understand why it's been off a whole bloody week tho will have to 'lose' our dish which is in the garage which is same size (75cm I think) as dh won't agree to bigger one. once we do move. will have to set the cat on it or something.

must dash late for doctors gah

Sarky old thing Frau Lindt!

Geoff happens to be the biggest company down here for installing civilised British telly. Did ours when we lived in Munich in father in laws house and also when we moved down here a year later. I know him personally - he dropped by here a week ago and he's a nice chap who does a perfect job so I recommend him. If you tell him a bloke from Holzkirchen said call 'im, he'll know who it is.

Hmm, did not really get very far with my electricity bill except to find out that the renters of the house before us paid 300chf for 2 months and we paid 450chf for 2 months plus the Nachzahlung, bringing us up to almost 600chf for two months.

They cannot expect us to believe that we are using TWICE the electricity and the water that the previous renters were using.

I have fired off some emails to the guy who deals with the house at DH's company. I am pretty sure that the meter was read wrong.

Maninadirndl
Well done for starting that thread about 100 things you like about Britain. It is lovely.

Have a spare five mins in between baby sick, dog sick and watching Wimbledon; am sweltering up this end, 28 degrees, yet my neighbour helpfully remarked that leaving the two windows open to create a thru-draft might give DD a chill.

Ernest, LOL at your techno rant! Our system always crashes when DH is on the opposite side of the planet. If it crashes when he's home, it's because something really complicated occured. If it crashed when he's away, it's because I did something to it.

Am with Maninadirndl re german telly, although I do occasionally watch that bizarre nuns v. local burgermeister drama on mute and make up my own dialogue.

Aye Frosch, Germin telly should be suppressed at all costs, except for when Hollywood stars appear on Wetten Dass? When Germans come on I fetch more beer as they are always fecking dull.

Wife gets first pick tonight as no Gardeners World on for 3 buggery weeks! My garden will die! I usuall get my telly later at night.

I hate german tv
it is either love in the mountains or death in a city

...or they invade Cornwall on a Sunday. Have you seen Pilcher? The fisjermen come off boats into a Cornish harbour and every bugger speaks natural Deutsch. They go into libraries where it is entirely Deutsch. Load o' cobblers.

lol at the invasion on a sunday

that programme is weird

note to self must get English tv soon..have been saying that for ages

reminds oneself at least it is an easy way to learn ..goes back to a love in a mountain setting show

Frau Cinders I had to sit through one of those mountain things this evening. Feckin shite. Only thing worth noting for me was the "uplifting" quality of those Dirndls and the lovely woman who was squeezed into it.

The fact that I found this noteworthy is a reflection most likely of the sad old shit that I have become.

Are you becoming a dirty old perv in your old age, MIAD?!

I watch the news in German 'cos even the BBC is becoming sensational in its delivery; Das Erste's Tagesshau is over in 15 mins and tells me everything I need to know. Thankfully, DH is a convert to British telly and makes me tape EastEnders, Holby City and Top Gear when he's away (not that he'd ever admit to the first two...)

What do you have in your garden, MIAD? Are you strictly veg or do you do blumen as well? Are you one of those fanatics who'd kill their kleingarten neighbours for dumping their leaves in your patch? (I am still fascinated by that story....)

frosch: dirty? the very word!

Depraved isn't the word! think yer darkest thoughts and I've already been there!

(not really sadly) my God I am do old now the very sightof a woman serving beer bending over causes a commotion in the trousers!

Garden? Now you want a list?

Okay....be warned the list is long...

Trees - oak, apple, plum, amelanchier, willow, hazel
Shrubs (I am Roger the Shrubber) Magnolia, elder, loads of conifers, laurel, millions of roses, esp a rose arch which I designed myself, grape (ferment the little buggers down for some Christmas gluhwein!).
forsythia, jasmine (full of bloody aphids), blackcurrant, raspberry, beech, hornbeam.

Flowers: daffodil, tulip, gladiolus, phlox, dahlia, aster, peony, hop, lavender (these two will hopefully help me sleep when the hops come in autumn), geranium - In Bavaria its traditonal to plant a line of geraniums on the balcony for beauty which I uphold. This year however theres a protest by the cow milk farmers by not planting any geraniums so some have done this,.

Herbs: All pizza needs sorted: orgenao, rocket, thyme, rosemary. Winter cold remedy sorted - sage. Mint - far too much bloody mint. Thai lemongrass, hyssop (good against catarrh), summer savoury (good to stop farting from beans) marjoram.

Veg: tomato, aubergine, chili, pepper - perhaps my fave crop of all. In my small veg bed we've lettuce lollo rosso, parsely, scorzonera, Jerusalem artichoke, potato, spinach - see what comes.

Now we move to my Sonnenacker. Starting at the beginning we've sunflowers for the kids - they have their own baby bed this year. Also marigold in which are good to harvest for health. Broccoli, Cauli, ettuce, Onion Garlic, Carrot, spuds, Borlotti beans, Mange Tout peas, artichokes, tomatoes for pastata, more spinach. The piece de resistamnce is my 3 sisters bed of beans corn and pumpkin. I ypou are interested can dig up something about that.

Feck me whatta list!

I'm very when I read about your garden, MiaD. That's the sort of garden/allotment I'm dreaming about. I would add pears, cherries and a quince tree to the orchard bit and have a few rows of grean beens in the veg plot. I'm trying to grow lemon grass from seeds and have failed miserably so far. My current batch is about 5 cm tall and looks a lot better than the previous ones, so I'm quite hopeful that I get some mature plants this time. Also waiting for the Korean mint and the Thai basil to reach harvesting size.
Have you tried growing lemon verbena? It makes a wonderful herbal tea and taste great in fruit compotes.

I find German TV quite horrible overall as well but I do like the shorter news format and that there are (or at least used to be) more programs about international affairs. I was in Helsinki for 5 days in May and it seems Finnish TV is even worse than German. There were quite a few German shows on Finnish TV. I watched an episode of "Der Alte" after I came home from the conference opening ceremony and it was just strange watching this show with its distinctly Bavarian setting and dialect in a hotel room in Finland.

argh modern technology (all of it). That's why we have dc though, isn't it so they grow up to master all that stuff for us?

No time to catch up on all your news, will try and get on again tomorrow and see what you've all been up to.

I suggest we make next week a "cheer up MANINADIRNDL week". Alright there boyo, I see you are hankering for your green valley. We'll sort you out.

Have you Bavarians not met up yet then? Quick before the summer rainy season is over and winter upon you!

Well I am drying out in both senses of the word after all this rain. I saw bright skies for the first time in days this morning and it is having a wonderful effect. If you are like us outdoors virtually all the time in the sun and are and are stuck indoors I really think your mental health suffers a lot. I couldn't switch off mentally and resorted to Gods oldest remedy for this. However this morning I am going to try asking for Valerian - here called Baldrian - in the chemists to enable me to get the proper sleep I need. I had such a lousy few weeks - my elderly Dad vomiting in front of me and a horrible attack of diarrhoea befoee he could even get to the toilet then my cat who lives with my parents in Chester being killed by a car- no more details but if I stop too long I start to dwell on these sad thoughts.

Onwards and upwards!