Positive lesbian books/media for 11yo

[Lindtnotlint]

My wonderful 11yo DD has told me she is pretty sure she is gay. It’s not a big deal to us and she isn’t worried about acceptance at home or school. She knows she can change her mind and nothing is set in stone (but I would say knowing her this maybe feels more like “real” vs an exploratory phase). She is well into puberty and mentally/physically really “old” for her age.

She specifically asked about getting more lesbian “material”. She feels quite exposed to gay men (not least among our friends) but is hungry for literature/TV/films etc that features lesbians. She isn’t really looking for romance - more just the presence of lesbians. Eg she loves Dr Who. She is a v advanced reader so even books that are older could be good. A lot of what you immediately come across has a bit too much trauma in! I have obv already got her Heartstopper.

and any recommendations for factual /‘self-help’ books directly designed for questioning teens would also be welcome - almost everything I can find online has a lot of “questioning your gender” elements mixed in, which she doesn’t want.

How many of the HeartStopper books did you get her? Some of the later ones are not appropriate for her age, plus one of the lesbians becomes non binary. Assuming the books are the same as the show anyway.

Only the first couple at the mo. Though I am not too worried about her coming across more adult or complex content (including re transgender people). She is extremely “head screwed on” and also a raging feminist. What I am really looking for is positive content that shows that being a lesbian teen or adult is mainstream, fun and (for want of a better word!) “normal”.

Children’s books Ireland do a pride reading guide every year.

I’ve found brilliant in general for recommendations for all kinds of kids books

https://childrensbooksireland.ie/our-recommendations/pride-reading-guide

Love Frankie by Jacqueline Wilson and The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar are both sweet and age appropriate, we have them in the teen section of our local library

Have a look at Lex Croucher books too. Gwen and Art are not in love won the YA book prize in 2024 . Seems to get great reviews

Tv series - Buffy with Willow and Tara

She's 11 .. a raging feminist lesbian? :(

She and you sound brilliant OP.

Well she’s not totally sure about the lesbian part, but she has pretty strong views about the feminist part! Teens I guess often take their views pretty seriously - whether about feminism or K-pop. I’m sure you would be more comforted by some of her other more kiddy hobbies, but we definitely don’t owe you that. She is FANTASTIC in every possible way and exceptionally well-adjusted. Unlike people who post rude stuff about people’s kids online. 😉

Thanks so much to all the other posters. Several of these going on her kindle as we speak. Buffy is a fun shout too - I loved it back in the day!

I didn't post anything rude? I stated what you said. She isn't a teen. She is 11. Presumably still in primary school or just out.

I work in a primary school and just find it really sad how a lot of children just don't have a childhood any more

I'm 35 but call me old fashioned in thinking getting lesbian themed books for a young child is just a bit weird 🫣

She’s a little young for Arcane or Shadow and Bone, but in a couple of years she might like these. Both have normalised portrayals of lesbian relationships, “the presence of lesbians”, as you put it!

p.s. my dd is also a teen lesbian but I can’t abide Heartstopper for the trans angle.

My teen kids made me watch Arcane. So good.

She sounds like my daughter. A raging feminist and not sure whether she just finds boys tiresome or just likes girls!!

Same here and I also loved it. It’s so hard to describe it to people who haven’t seen it. It’s not a cartoon! It’s an animated epic!

Would reccomend heartstopper for sure i really loved them, Alice oseman has novels too she might enjoy. Hani and ishus guide to fake dating is fun ya romance. She might also enjoy the wayfarers series by becky chambers they feature lots of queer relationships and would be age appropriate they are scifi but focus much more on the characters than any heavy scifi themes.

Probably still a bit young for mystery novels but once she starts on those, VL McDermid has a couple of series set in a lesbian environment. Basically anything of hers that isn't the "Wire in the Blood" Carol & Tony books.

At 10, and in the start of Year 6 just prior to lockdown, my niece decided she too was a lesbian. She then decided she was actually trans because she just didn’t like boys so that must mean she was really a boy too. For around a month she pranced around telling everyone she wanted to be called Tom, and was now a boy.
Reader, 7 years on, she is neither a lesbian nor trans. What actually happened is that her school had an outside group delivering PHSE in school - similar to Allsorts LGBT++++ - and basically when she said she didn’t really like boys the person delivering that session said that could mean she was gay or perhaps trans. She was given a book to read and directed to a couple of websites. This only came out after she left that school. All I will say is thank heavens that lockdown put paid to her being indoctrinated by this group!
many girls at that age think they might be gay because they just don’t like boys - within a couple of years they discover their sexuality without the need to have it pushed in their faces. (Does anyone ever ask for recommendations for books about being straight at 11???)

“Queer relationships” - she’s just a kid FFS!

@Soontobe60 thank you

I DEFINITELY knew I fancied boys & boys only at age 11 so why can’t she already know she fancies girls? You’re being so judgmental about someone’s daughter and none of this affects you in ANY way. She’s not asking for books for YOUR children, christs sake.

IMO it seems too young to be having books that focus on relationships in that way? I don't mean because of being lesbian, I would feel the same about hetrosexual teen books. They will all be very poor quality literature as well. There are so many terrific books out there, just because an 11 year old is curious about certain topics, doesn't necessarily mean it is the best thing for their development to immerse themselves in books about it. Too many poorly written books are flooding the market because they are on topics that currently have a buzz about them in the media, LGBTQ being a great example of these. The 'authors' are charlatans, pumping out dross to capitalise on the current trend and make a quick buck.

Rosie Jones books might be a good fit www.booktrust.org.uk/book-recommendations/bookfinder/the-amazing-edie-eckhart/

What exactly is a "queer relationship" and how does it differ from LGB or hetrosexual?

Just to add to this, many of these books are allegedly AI generated.

A kid who is looking for books with these themes i said queer relationships which includes friendships within these communities i didn't specify romance.