Positive lesbian books/media for 11yo

[Lindtnotlint]

My wonderful 11yo DD has told me she is pretty sure she is gay. It’s not a big deal to us and she isn’t worried about acceptance at home or school. She knows she can change her mind and nothing is set in stone (but I would say knowing her this maybe feels more like “real” vs an exploratory phase). She is well into puberty and mentally/physically really “old” for her age.

She specifically asked about getting more lesbian “material”. She feels quite exposed to gay men (not least among our friends) but is hungry for literature/TV/films etc that features lesbians. She isn’t really looking for romance - more just the presence of lesbians. Eg she loves Dr Who. She is a v advanced reader so even books that are older could be good. A lot of what you immediately come across has a bit too much trauma in! I have obv already got her Heartstopper.

and any recommendations for factual /‘self-help’ books directly designed for questioning teens would also be welcome - almost everything I can find online has a lot of “questioning your gender” elements mixed in, which she doesn’t want.

You could ask your local library. Most do focus months and will include pride in that too so they may be well placed to give you some direction for books.

She’s asking for books for HER child, not yours.

She asked for book recommendations NOT your opinion on it. But you continually feel the need to force your opinion on her anyway.

This isn’t true. YA spans from 12-18 so there are plenty of YA books that are aimed at kids around OP’s daughter’s age.

And it’s not woke nonsense. Why shouldn’t she get to see other girls on the page / screen who think like she does? Every kid should be able to see themselves in a book.

YY to your final sentence. One of my closest friends has spoken incredibly movingly about how hard it was growing up thinking something was ‘wrong’ with her because there was nobody else around her, either in pop culture, fiction or real life, who seemed to not like boys and instead be more drawn to girls.

Some of these posts are unhinged. As a voracious reader from an early age, I can hand on heart say none of my big life decisions have been heavily influenced by fictitious characters’ life choices!

@AntonNewcombesHat

All I'm saying is let children be children...

She has her entire adult life to explore her sexuality ❤️

You don’t need to buy him those books because most of the literature he has will have a mum and a dad, and boys having crushes on girls.

all children deserve to see themselves reflected in culture. Same goes for children with disabilities, children of colour. It’s not something you think about until you have a child who starts to ask why there is nothing out there for them. It’s nothing to do with growing up faster and it doesn’t mean they’re losing their childhood.

I remember being her age and wishing there were books with lesbians in, particularly ones where the whole plot wasn’t about how awful it was to come out or hiding your relationship!
she might like the Rebecca Thorne Series that starts with You Can’t Spell Treason Without Tea. It’s a “cozy fantasy” so although it’s aimed at adults there is nothing distressing or explicit. I wouldn’t say it’s a literary masterpiece but it’s a nice read

Possibly slightly young for her but the B.U.G. series by Jen Carney is fab - it focuses on a girl with two mums, so isn't about growing up as a lesbian, but is very positive lesbian representation.
Sorry to see some of the comments on here OP you sound like a lovely mum!

In the murder most unladylike series a main character is a lesbian and absolutely nothing is said about it. She worries about coming out and then it’s just part of the story. It’s been a while since I read them but I think there is a lesbian adult too. It’s not a pro-gay or ranty book in anyway, just slipped in as something completely normal.

the truly devious series has all the options. There are lesbains, asexuals and a non-binary character. Again not essential to the story, it’s not a big thing in the story just being present

Thanks so much all (well, most!). Really helpful. Sadly she hates Murder Most Unladylike which was all the rage at primary school a few years back.

And to the person who said I was forcing this down her throat with glee - let me tell you that when my wonderful daughter told me that she was crying at night because she was dealing with something that felt big and she wanted my support; that she knew it was fine to be a lesbian but it felt like a real change in how her life might end up; that she felt like she couldn’t see herself in the books she was reading or much in society anywhere; that she felt she might never meet people to marry when she grew up because it seemed very unusual to be a lesbian; that she was scouring the library at school but she had only found one book in her section that seemed to have any gay female characters…. I can’t say my main emotion was glee. It was to try to support her and to show her I am on her team to help with something that feels really big to her right now - whatever the future will bring. And if she ends up being straight, I tend to think having read some books with lesbians in will be an excellent thing anyway…

I am not really sure what the nay-sayers on the thread are even worried about- that she might catch being a lesbian from a book? If you think that you sure as hell haven’t met my daughter!! (Or, I would hazard, many actual lesbians, but that’s perhaps a different point).