Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Original poster

Husband handing over house

115 replies

Mollylegs · 16/06/2023 18:29

Hi my husband left me last year we'd been together 21 years and married for 16. The house is in my husbands name. He is willing to hand the house over to me. My parents are going to give me money to pay a chunk of the mortgage. That is where I thought it best to get a solicitor. I've been told I have to get divorced and I have to have a five month cooling off period. I need this sorted sooner rather than later, I spoke to my solicitor yesterday who didn't tell me she was going on annual leave from today for a fortnight. I don't understand why I can't sort out the house sooner, if we weren't married how would they manage to do it? I'd be very grateful for some advice. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 16/06/2023 18:40

Have you been approved for a mortgage?
A bank mortgage advisor may be a good place to start?

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/06/2023 18:52

If you don't divorce and don't get a financial consent order and your parents hand over a chunk of money. He could come back for another bite of the pie at a later date is this a risk you want to take?

INeedAnotherName · 16/06/2023 18:55

He is willing to hand the house over to me. My parents are going to give me money to pay a chunk of the mortgage.

Unless it is done properly this could look like some form of dodgy tax evasion. You need to legally seperate or divorce, as there would be nothing to stop your husband from claiming half the house in five years time, then you would lose the house AND your parents money.

MyfavouriteisA · 16/06/2023 18:57

You can’t just take over the mortgage, even after paying off the ‘chunk’ given by your parents as, if the mortgage is in his name, it is only him that can clear the debt. You would have to apply for a mortgage on your own earnings using the chunk as your deposit.
Your solicitor should have gone through all of this with you so that you can explore the possibilities of being able to afford to buy the house on your own.
Only then can you make an informed choice as to how best to divide the assets from the marriage when you are divorced.

Original poster
Mollylegs · 16/06/2023 19:01

Hi @Lonecatwithkitten to be honest my solicitor is confusing me. I was asked today to write in an email that i'm happy to go ahead without financial disclosure, my solicitor thinks I'm doing the wrong thing but all I want is mine and my sons home and for him to not be in my life. My husband is complaining about the fact he's still paying the mortgage. I get universal credit, my husband earns £800 per week take home but I don't want that, I just want the house in my name. My parents have offered to give me this money so that the mortgage will therefore be smaller and I can afford it. I'm just getting worried at the length of time it's going to take as my husband is pushing not to pay it anymore. I can't afford to pay the mortgage as it stands now due to my low income. Thank you for replying..

OP posts:
MyfavouriteisA · 16/06/2023 19:09

Your solicitor is right to tell you NOT to agree to proceed without financial disclosure and you absolutely must not, I cannot stress this enough.
People with more time this evening and with professional knowledge may explain in clear terms to you why you would be foolish to do this. Ultimately, by acting on that request, you would effectively be weakening your financial position.
You really do need to pause and gather expert advice before being bullied in to legalities that you do not understand and which will leave you financially compromised.
Please wait, for the sake and security of you and your child as your future depends on your actions now. Proceed with care.

keepingsanity · 16/06/2023 19:17

I just remortgaged with a financial adviser they engage a solicitor for the formalities and they sent a TR1 form which is him to transfer the asset to me.

Still married but will divorce soon. Very amicable.

It seems relatively easy but i think you need mortgage advice to ensure you can afford it.

Also would look to get a financial doc drawn up to ensure he doesn't have a claim later.

Throwncrumbs · 16/06/2023 19:20

You will not get a mortgage on UC you won’t pass an affordability test

Blingstar · 16/06/2023 19:26

Why don't you want to proceed with the divorce at this point?

Have you been a stay at home mum?

Your husband clears 3200 per month after tax, is that right? So he has a good income and probably a pension.

How much is the house valued at and how much is the outstanding mortgage?

I think your solicitor is trying to get you the best deal here. Don't rush into anything because he can't be bothered paying the mortgage. I would get some advice from a divorce lawyer.

prh47bridge · 16/06/2023 21:02

Listen to your solicitor.

If he transfers the property to you and you give him some money, he will be able to come after you for more later, possibly forcing you to sell the house.

If you do not make a full financial disclosure, he will be able to come after you for more later.

For the same reason, his solicitor will advise him to refuse to complete any deal until there has been a full financial disclosure.

You need to get divorced, and you need a consent order to sort out the financial settlement. I understand that you want him out of your life, but failing to do things properly may mean that he is in your life for a lot longer.

TizerorFizz · 17/06/2023 00:35

Never mind the position regarding pensions!

PrincessofWellies · 17/06/2023 01:07

MyfavouriteisA · 16/06/2023 19:09

Your solicitor is right to tell you NOT to agree to proceed without financial disclosure and you absolutely must not, I cannot stress this enough.
People with more time this evening and with professional knowledge may explain in clear terms to you why you would be foolish to do this. Ultimately, by acting on that request, you would effectively be weakening your financial position.
You really do need to pause and gather expert advice before being bullied in to legalities that you do not understand and which will leave you financially compromised.
Please wait, for the sake and security of you and your child as your future depends on your actions now. Proceed with care.

This. You would be very foolish not to have a pension sharing order etc. Why is your husband so keen to give you the family home, that's the question you should ask yourself? What is he not disclosing?

Mumof3confused · 17/06/2023 10:39

You can’t just take over his mortgage payments. The property can be transferred to you as part of a Consent Order but you need to arrange your own mortgage on the property first or his bank might agree to transfer his mortgage over to you.

You might also be entitled to spousal maintenance and a share of any pensions or other assets that he might have (savings, investments etc).

He could be trying to rush you because he knows he’s on to a good deal…you need to focus on what’s best for you and your child.

Your ex can complain all he likes, just ignore him and don’t allow him to rush you into signing anything without getting the full picture (financial disclosure).

GatesOfBabylon · 17/06/2023 13:16

He absolutely is trying to ensure he gets to keep most of his wealth. You need to divorce and get the finanacial order - do things correctly.

Even if he stopped paying the mortgage tomorrow I bet you would still be living in the house in 12 months time - the banks take forever to act.

Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 14:32

Hi @MyfavouriteisA I'm so stressed out with the solicitor, after paying them a chunk of money it's now a bit difficult to get a reply from them, she told me yesterday I had to reply to her email saying I was happy to go ahead without financial disclsure, which I did. She has now gone on annual leave for 2 weeks and her assistant is meant to be sending out a letter saying I want a divorce. I'm so screwed cause she told me I had to hurry up and send back the client care letter, I don't know what to do now, sorry for not replying yesterday, I had an egg salad sarnie from greggs that came back to haunt me x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 14:42

Hi @keepingsanity I haven't even heard of that form. I have said to family there must be an easier way to do this. I have been accepted for a mortgage but now I've had to put it on hold as the solicitor says I need a cooling off period of 5 months. Surely I can sort the house earlier than that x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 14:53

Hi @Blingstar I suppose I don't want to get a divorce as I'm not ready for it being The End. Yes I have been a stay at home mum, my solicitor said I should go for spousal maintenance but I don't want his money. I know a solicitors job is to get the best deal. The house is worth about £210,000 and the mortgage is £80,000. I just want my family home for me and my son to be able to live here. I feel a bit screwed now cause my solicitor rang yesterday and told me she was going away for 2 weeks so I needed to sign something. I just want to cry x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 14:58

Hi @MyfavouriteisA do you mind if I ask if you saw the post by @keepingsanity have you heard of this at all?

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 17/06/2023 15:00

Surely client care letter is so they can act for you? So you understand what they will do for you. By rushing through and getting a mortgage you are sidestepping what would normally be good care. Why can you not take a step back and look at all the financial implications? Plus everyone can have a holiday. I don’t see the big rush. There is a reflection period of 20 weeks after the divorce is started. You really do need to read up on divorce!

WoolyMammoth55 · 17/06/2023 15:07

OP, for you to get anything sorted, it has to be The End.

I realise it's a mental hurdle but until the divorce is done and all cooled off then you aren't free of him and anything you own is legally a joint asset.

You have to start with the divorce ASAP. Anything else is a big risk and leaves you and your child financially vulnerable.

Wish you all the best.

Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 15:19

Hi @prh47bridge I told my solicitors assistant to say I didn't want FFD, I just want to hurry up and get the house before he changes his mind, or his new bit on the side saying she'd like to live here. As far as I know he hasn't got a solicitor. Do you know if he can just sign anything my solicitor sends him without him having a solicitor, thanks x

OP posts:
keepingsanity · 17/06/2023 15:28

Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 15:19

Hi @prh47bridge I told my solicitors assistant to say I didn't want FFD, I just want to hurry up and get the house before he changes his mind, or his new bit on the side saying she'd like to live here. As far as I know he hasn't got a solicitor. Do you know if he can just sign anything my solicitor sends him without him having a solicitor, thanks x

He will need a solicitor to verify his identity on the ID1 form

Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 15:32

Hi @Mumof3confused He has been paying the mortgage since he left, the mortgage is £302 a month, he can certainly afford it but he is telling me he doesn't want to pay it anymore. My mortgage advisor said if he defaults on a payment it might affect me. I'm so confused x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 15:51

Hi @TizerorFizz I am only rushing as my ex says he won't go on paying the mortgage. I haven't read up on divorce as I was heartbroken and was just in shock. I probably do need to know more but it's been a really difficult time x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollylegs · 17/06/2023 15:53

Thank you @WoolyMammoth55

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread