Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

@Disco24😂😂😂 yeah I've been sitting on this suggestion for a little while as I had the same thoughts. It might not be for everyone though and I'd understand but thought I would ask 🥰.

@StarJasmine93 i also thought about creating a whatsapp group honestly! But had same feelings about proposing it😂 Count on me :)

Woohooo bring on the WhatsApp. @StarJasmine93 I’ve shared my number with you in a PM.

Fab @Disco24! @Blue234has shared too. Let's see what @Magix86says and then we can go from there 🥰

Sounds good, although she might have her hands full 😂

In a slight bump in the road, we went in for our blood test confirmation and it is confirmed! However my HCG is at 80, when they’d want it 100 plus. We’re not out, they just want to test again in a few days to check it’s rising correctly, but it has put a real dampener on things. Why is nothing ever simple with us 🫠

Very true!! I've started the WhatsApp chat but for some reason it wouldn't just let me add you in it. Said I had to send you a linked invite. Did you get it @Disco24? Should be on your WhatsApp.

Sorry to hear about the HCG levels. I believe that 80 is still good. As long as it's climbing, that's a good sign. Sorry it's put a dampner on things 😥. After everything you don't deserve a setback!!! Sending you hugs x

Wonderful news all. I have my egg retrieval this Friday and have just finished reading your WHOLE thread. Truly inspiring and emotional, i hope everyone has got their hababy ending 🤞🏽 I hope I am lucky enough like all of you so please wish me luck. I had 17 follicles found so hopefully this will be enough for the hababy ending x i would also love to be cheeky and hear updates from you all if you have any. Just feeling inspired by you all now ❤️

Morning @Wishful86 I can’t believe you managed to get through the whole thread 😅

As you can see we got our positive in August, but we unfortunately miscarried at 10 weeks which resulted in surgery. So we’re now waiting for my period to be able to have another hycosy and then we can start another round. It’s been very traumatic, but I still believe we’ll get our happy ending.

Good luck for your egg collection. 17 sounds like a wonderful place to be in.

I know, I could not sleep last night and came across this thread that felt so fitting as a bed time read 🤣. Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly, hearing “17 sounds like a wonderful place to be in” gave me such a boost — I needed that reminder. I’m holding onto it tightly and praying this journey unfolds gently and beautifully for both of us.

I’m so sorry you had to go through such a heartbreaking loss. A miscarriage at 10 weeks, especially after a positive and all that hope, is just… devastating. And surgery on top of it — that’s a lot for one heart to carry. You’ve clearly got strength stitched into every fibre of you, and I admire how you’re still standing, still believing, still moving forward. That belief in your happy ending? It’s powerful. And I believe in it too — fiercely.

I’ll be thinking of you as you wait for your cycle to restart and prep for the next hycosy. May it be smooth, gentle, and full of quiet reassurance. And when the next round begins, may it bring healing, hope, and a little bit of magic.

Sending love, luck, and a cheeky wink of solidarity — we’ve got this 💪✨

That’s so very kind of you to say, I do forget how much we’ve been through, as we just keep pushing on. So thank you for that reminder too 💖 also written so beautifully!

Can you remind me of your journey?

I meant every word — no worries at all 💖 You deserve every bit of kindness and recognition for what you’ve been through.

So, my journey started around 2022. It’s funny in hindsight — we’d never even had a pregnancy scare, which I know sounds a bit silly. We weren’t actively trying, but I wasn’t on the pill either, and at some point I just thought, hmm, maybe we should get tested. Long story short, we both did — and his results were devastating. Two sperm tests, and no sperm found. It still feels like yesterday.

We were referred for a micro-TESE, but it took forever because my BMI was over 30, and they wouldn’t proceed until I got it down. I felt like I was holding him back, which was such a heavy feeling. My tests came back fine, but that didn’t make it easier emotionally. I finally got my BMI down this year, and he had the surgery — they found one sperm, but it didn’t have a tail, so essentially… nothing usable. We were absolutely distraught. Took time off work because we just couldn’t focus or function.

We started talking about donor options, but it felt so inappropriate at the time — we were still grieving his diagnosis, and I felt guilty even bringing it up. But at the same time, I was 38 and that number was constantly ticking in my head. We had a long, emotional conversation and decided to go for it. And now… here we are. Egg retrieval tomorrow.

It’s been such a hard journey. We haven’t told anyone close to us — not even our parents. We just want to see how things play out first. I feel like I’m constantly holding my breath and need to learn how to exhale again.

Thank you again for your beautiful message. It really meant a lot. And I’m praying for a gentle, hopeful path ahead for both of us 💫

Sorry for long post but I had a lot of catching up to do with you ladies x let me know if you want more details about the medication side, I left that out as I babbled on lol x

@Wishful86 welcome (unfortunately :() to our thread. I am so glad to hear that it helped you🙏🏼♥️ this journey is not easy but I promise it will be worth it completely :) my twins are now 2 months and looking back, I would have regretted so much not having made the decision of following this route 🙏🏼 Wishing you the best in your egg retrieval! Definately your number of folicles sounds really promising!🙏🏼 Please keep us posted! My life is hectic atm so sorry if I am not very active here, but happy to support with any help you need 🙏🏼

Thank you so much for the warm (and yes, unfortunate) welcome — it genuinely means a lot to feel held in this space. I’m so glad I found the thread, and even more grateful that it’s helped me already. Your message gave me such a lift — especially hearing that you’d have regretted not choosing this route. That hit me right in the heart. It’s exactly the kind of reassurance I needed right now 🤍

Huge congratulations on your beautiful twins — two months old! That’s such a special, whirlwind time. I can only imagine how hectic things must be, so please don’t apologise at all. Just knowing you’re here and cheering us on is more than enough.

Thank you for the kind words about my follicle count — I’m trying to stay grounded, but hearing it sounds promising really helps me breathe a little easier. I’ll definitely keep you posted (probably in far too much detail 😂), and I’m sending you so much love and admiration for everything you’ve been through and everything you’re juggling now.

Wishing you peaceful naps, tiny giggles, and just enough quiet moments to soak it all in. You’ve given me a little extra hope today, and I’m so thankful for that 💫

Oh @Wishful86 its so shit isn’t it, but thank you for sharing your story. It must be so heavy carrying this all on your own, we have been such a lifeline for each other so hope we can be of help too. We also had two sperm tests of zero and were so confused at the time, just feels otherworldly.

My BMI was over too, and now post miscarriage I’m back up and on the weight loss train for another 7lbs to lose 🫠 I totally understand how that feels, and the responsibility it carries. Well done on losing the weight! Even if it’s a stupid measurement!!

I hope you sleep okay tonight, I remember being so full of hormones and anxiety. But honestly you’ll be great! You’ve done all you can to this point, so take comfort in that. And let us know how you get on. xx

Thank you so much — honestly, it is so shit, isn’t it? There’s just no sugar-coating it. Finding this thread and hearing from others who get it — it’s been such a lifeline already. I’m so grateful to be here, even if I wish none of us had to be.

Hearing that you also had two zero sperm tests… it really does feel otherworldly, doesn’t it? Like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where nothing makes sense and the rules have changed. I’m so sorry you went through that too — it’s such a confusing, lonely kind of grief.

And the BMI thing — ugh, yes. I feel that in my bones. It’s such a blunt tool for something so nuanced, and yet it holds so much power over our timelines. Thank you for the kind words — they mean more than you know.

I’m definitely feeling the hormone/anxiety cocktail tonight, but your message helped me breathe a little easier. You’re right — I’ve done everything I can. Now it’s time to trust the process (and maybe eat a biscuit or two while I wait 😅). I’ll keep you posted, and I’m sending you so much love and strength for your own journey too. We’re in this together. xx

I wish everyone who is still on this journey good luck too x x

Hi @Wishful86sorry you find yourself here ❤️. It's a hell of a journey and one of the darkest ones we've ever had to navigate. I remember receiving the results for my husband and feeling like our world came crashing down.

However, I can tell you it does get easier when choosing the donor route and having success from it. Only last night did I get home from the hospital after giving birth to our son 3 days ago. My husband and I both said, if we werent dealt the hand we had, this particular little boy wouldn't be ours and I couldn't imagine him being anyone else. We were always meant to be his parents ❤️.

Family isn't about DNA and genetics, it is about love and "turning up" everyday for your loved ones. When baby arrives, all the worries and what ifs sort of melt away. Or at least they have with us.

It sounds like you have some amazing numbers there. I started with less than you and have a super low AMH but was lucky enough to have great results by day 5. You just need to let go a bit now and trust the process as best you can. As the girls have said, you've done everything you can now for this round.

Please do keep us posted!! Sending you all the love and luck in the world xx

Hi @Wishful86 I'm sorry you're finding yourself here! I'm also amazed that you've read the entire thread 😅 you probably know my story better than me at this point as everything seems such a blurry memory! My little boy is now 11 weeks old and I can't imagine our life without him. My partner had an unsuccessful mtese and we made the decision pretty quickly to move on to the donor route, although it was a really tough time. He's doing really well now and is a great dad! We didn't tell family either until after I was pregnant, and some family not even until after he was born. No one sees him or treats him any differently and my partner has bonded well with him, although he did have a few difficult days when he was first born, worrying about their bond etc.

Really hoping your egg collection has gone well and please do keep us updated! Like the others have said, 17 is a fantastic number of follicles.

Hey ladies! I am 100% with @Magix86 @StarJasmine93 ! Once baby (babies in my case 😂😂) are here, worries go away! I am not gonna deny thinking on how and when to tell the kids raises my blood pressure a bit, buut there is plenty of time yet! And really think they will understand and wont be traumatized in any way if we tell them from the moment they start being curious about how kids come to this world! I am sure they love and will love their dad always🥹 Anyway, no point to worry about this for now!
In terms of telling, only our closest family and a couple of my best friends know and honestly, no one cares about it! They are showing so much love to them. My husband's family is being amazing (i guess we all have had second thoughts about this part at some point...) and i can tell you they are over the moon with my little cuties 😍
Best decision we have ever taken🫶🏻 i feel now so stupid thinking back when i wasnt sure if this was the right thing to do....🥹

Hey guys hope you all are well!! Just a quick update from my side. Here is an email from my clinic...

• 18 eggs collected
• We performed an IVF
• Today you have 10 embryos. You asked about the rest of the eggs and I explained that 2 were immature, 6 did not fertilise. However, considering the number of mature eggs (16), your fertilisation was 62.5% which is within our statistics expectation.

They scheduled my transfer for Wednesday so hopefully all goes well. They have also given me cylogest which lets just say is interesting for all of you that know.

Thanks again for all of your help ladies and I loveeee hearing all the baby stories x x x

@Wishful86 thats great news!😍 In my experience, i wouldnt worry too much about the drop! Its very normal! This is down to individuals (so please dont compare yourself to anyone), all you need is one! But in case it helps if i remember well, for me they managed to collect 27 eggs, 11 fertilised and 6 made it to day 5 (all of them great quality to my surprise!). So, without being a doctor 🙏🏼, your figures look veeery positive and promising to mee! Wishing you the best luck ever. Just a heads up, transfer can be really emotional! I spent all the process in tears 🥹 please tell us how it goes 🙏🏼♥️♥️

Hey ladies. Hope you are all well. I have an update for you but its not an official update yet (if you know what I mean..) I just took a test and can see a mid pink line (its not the full on colour yet). Im hoping its not a dud test and hoping this will stick for the official test date which is the 23rd_ wish me luck... Eeek. I have not told anyone yet (apart from hubby and my cat of course lol) and feel happy I can tell this forum. Thanks for all your support so far. How is everyone else doing? X x

Great news @Wishful86🎉 will keep everything crossed the line continues to darken but good signs so far 🥰.

All good here, just settling into mum life xx

@Wishful86 sorry for the late response! oh that sounded as very promising news! how are things progressing?

All good here! :) Babies are growing very fast and finally starting to sleep longer at night! Keeping finger crossed that it keeps getting better and better!🙏

Lovely to hear from you and to know the babies are doing well and getting sleep. That must be so rewarding.

I'm 6 weeks now, but it's very early, so I don't feel like celebrating just yet. I have my first official scan on December 18th. I'm so anxious that I'm still testing every day, and the positive line is now darker than the control line. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I'll keep you posted and hopefully all goes well. X x

Hey there! So glad to hear you are 6 weeks now :) I know the feeling! I was terrified thinking they would tell me there was no baby or heartbeat (then you can imagine our faces when we went and they told us...there is heartbeat, but two actually 😂). I was also repeating the test every now and then and also was getting darker and darker :) so I trust a darker line should be a good sign! But I understand why you are cautious. No long time to go now! Fingers crossed for you! I am sure everything will go well! Please keep up posted :)