Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Ah thanks so much for sharing , what a beautifully honest post. You and your partner sound like such a solid team, and I love that you’re finding ways to laugh together while facing such big decisions. That mix of hope and heartbreak you described really hits home.
I’ve been reading through Fertility Mapper guide on it. It's technically focused on reciprocal IVF, but there is a lot to do with sperm and much of it resonates with anyone navigating the donor route. I found it really reassuring, especially regarding the emotional aspects and thinking ahead to things like future contact.
Sending lots of love as you wait for that next step with the clinic. Hope this thread brings you as much support as you’ve already given by starting it. X

Hi ladies, just a little update from me.

So we had 15 collected, all of which were mature and 11 fertilised. Unfortunately, we’ve had a big drop off, and we have been left with 2 embryos. I’m obviously a bit sad we don’t have more in the freezer. However the good news is my lining and progesterone all caught up so we had a fresh transfer yesterday, and one in the freezer ❄️💕

The countdown has started and I’m booked in for a blood test a week on Saturday. Hope you’re all surviving in the heatwave 🔥

Ahhh lovely to hear your update @Disco24❤️. Been thinking about you.

Sorry to hear you had a big drop off. Really good news to hear you got your fresh transfer and an embryo to freeze though!! 🎉

Will be keeping everything crossed for you 🤞.

I'm melting but trying not to complain too much as we've had a fantastic summer really! ☀️

Thank youuuu! I know feel like it’s just up to nature now, but also definitely had a beetroot, pomegranate and coconut water smoothie this morning so still trying to do my bit.

Any tips and good vibes send them my way! We’re going away the next 3 days so lots of rest, but just going to keep walking and eating well with my post injection daily chocolate 😂

No tips really... You've been through a couple TWW before so you know they can be a bit daunting and you are itching to find out 😅. Have you decided whether or not you'll be an early tester? We had planned not to be but because I was admitted to hospital, the nursing staff told me because of my bloods so didn't have a choice 😂.

Just be kind to yourself really. Get lots of rest and relaxation, eat well but don't deny yourself a treat every so often like your chocolate 😘.

Hope the next week and a half goes quick for you. Sending all the positive vibes your way ❤️.

Keep us updated when you can 🙏🥰

Ohh @Disco24 I've been thinking of you! So so happy you made it to a fresh transfer 💖 I had exactly the same numbers as you - 11 fertilised and 2 embryos. I know from experience it can be hard to deal with the drop off and it can feel so disheartening but it truly does only take one. Sending all the good vibes for this one for you!
I echo what @StarJasmine93 says, just be kind to yourself really. I remember I had pineapple for 3 days after my transfer, and I think maybe I tried to eat extra protein?? It's a bit of a blur. I think truthfully you can do whatever you want that you think will help, nothing is really proven.
Really hope you can enjoy a few days away and absolutely enjoy that chocolate!! 😀

@Disco24 omg I am so happy reading your last messages! Congrats on your fresh transfer🙏🏼
I completely understand the sadness around the drop in numbers, but unfortunately its a bit of a lottery. But sending you all my positives vibes to hopefully have good news in a couple of weeks!

Personally, the wait after the transfer was the most anxious part of the IVF process. My advice: just try to relax, do/eat what you feel and try to stay busy.

Sending you a big hug♥️

I had a realisation last night we must be approaching due dates!! How are we doing? ❤️❤️

I’m still holding out, 9 days post transfer, have a blood test at the weekend so will test just before to process the news. Today’s the first real day I’ve been tempted, ChatGPT is sick of my bullshit 😂

Awww how are you @Disco24?! That's amazing you've managed to hold out!! I think your plan sounds like a very good one 🤞🤞. How've you been feeling?

Yes due dates are defo approaching! I'm 30 weeks so I reckon@Magix86must only be a week or two away and @Blue234somewhere in the middle. Good luck everyone 💙.

I’m okayyyy. Was pretty chill but then had a few stab sensations the past two days so then start symptom spotting, just classic. 😂

I’m more nervous about it being negative so the date looming is quite scary. Just want to know 💖

Oh yayy 30 weeks! Nearly there xx

Aw it's such a tense time. I'm sending you so much positivity ❤️❤️ got everything crossed for you.

Hope hubby is holding up ok too xx

Hey ladies! @Disco24 not long to go!🙏🏼🙏🏼 I tried to find all kind of symptoms too 😂 I think we all probably have been there! Sounds like you are coping quite well with it. So glad to hear!😊Fingers crossed for your blood tests🤞🤞

@StarJasmine93 how is the 3rd trimester going for you?

I have been thinking of @Magix86 these days! You should be almost thereee🙏🏼

Update from our side is that we are having a planned c-section next week! So no long to go for us now! Babies will come a bit earlier than expected but we knew this would happen from the beginning. Starting to feel a bit nervous about it tbh! But cant wait to meet them and specially to get rid of this unmanageable belly! I am struggling more and more every day :( so looking forward to next week. Will keep you posted with any news!

Ahh @Disco24 I can't believe you've managed to hold off testing....well done! It's such an anxious wait, you've been in my thoughts a lot. Really hope the weekend gives you that much awaited positive news 🙏

Not long to go now then @StarJasmine93 ! Hope you're feeling OK?
@Blue234 so nice to have a date and a plan in place.

I'm actually in hospital due to a bit of bleeding yesterday and contractions have started overnight 😬 only 5 days early so little man is definitely ready! I'm absolutely terrified of what's to come

@Magix86 aww so baby is almost heree🥹🥹🎉 I completely understand how you are feeling but try to trust your body and also doctors. You have managed to come all this long way, you can do it!😘 Also good that you are already in hospital so everything should be under control atm! Wishing you a smooth and quick delivery🫶🏻😘😘 Cant wait to hear your amazing news veery soon🙏🏼

Oh my goodness @Magix86 youre nearly there! Look at all you’ve gone through and how far you’ve come, you’ve got this! Sending all the luck and love for the next few days 💪💖

@Blue234 Sorry you’ve been struggling, I imagine this heat’s not helped. Just one week to go! Bet you can’t wait to see those boys.

Well, I couldn’t hold off any longer, made it to 10dpt.

WE GOT OUR BFP ✨💖🤩

Feeling very overwhelmed. And took us long enough, but we made it.

@Disco24 omg!🥹🥹 This is the best news! So happy for youu!😍😍 Its been such a long wait for you but worth it🫶🏻 you must be over the moon!🥹🫶🏻

OH MY GOD. I'm so overwhelmed by all the amazing news on here!!!!

@Disco24YAAAAAAAAAAY 🎉💞 oh my god!! You must be elated!!! I am beyond happy for you. What a bloody journey you've had!! So thrilled for you. Soak it all in. Giving you the biggest squeezey hug right now 🤗

@Magix86goodness me!!! You are basically at the finish line. You got this mamma!! You've been through so much to get to this point. 💪. Wishing you a smooth sailing birth! Can't wait to hear your updates really soon

@Blue234how exciting you've got your c section date in!! You have done amazingly well to get to this point!! Your body has been through a lot but it's been so clever and awesome to get your babies into the high 30s (weeks) 👏.

Ah I'm in such a good mood!!! These messages have made my day.

I'm doing well yeah! Started to slow down a bit as baby gets bigger but overall I can't complain. Just super excited to meet little man now 💙

Thank you ladies. Sending those big hugs right back! I feel like I’ve lived 100 lives today, I just can’t believe it 🥺😅

Blood test Saturday morning for some ‘official’ confirmation, then we wait 😬😍

Please keep me updated on those babiessss, they’ll all be here before you know it 💙

Well baby boy arrived yesterday! Had an extremely quick labour and had some tearing so got quite a few stitches 😞
He's perfect though so it's definitely all worth it!!

Good luck for next week @Blue234 !! You'll get to meet those little boys so soon.

@Disco24 I can't tell you how happy and excited I am for you 🥹🥹 I can't believe you got your BFP - you certainly have been through quite the journey to get here!! This is just the news I've been hoping for and waiting for every time I log in lol.
I'm so amazed that we've all had such amazing success with the first round of IVF for us all 💖💖

Oh @Magix86 big big congratulations! Goosebumps reading your message, so glad he’s here and you’re both well (apart from your stitches ouch!). Made up for you all 💙💙

Thank you lovely. I’m very lucky to have you all in my corner. Took another 3 tests this morning to make sure, and still pregnant 😅

Awww congratulations @Magix86!! That's so lovely to hear. It must be so magical now he's here 💙. Sorry to hear about the tearing 😬.

@Disco24 😅😅 I was the same with the testing haha. X

@Magix86 omg🥹🥹 massive congratulations to you and your partner! So happy for youu and so glad to hear it was so quick! Hope you have a smooth recovery from delivery🙏🏼

Cant believe we are already at this stage honestly🥹 I believe I created this group around September last year and look where luckily we are all today!🥹 Its been such a tough and long journey but I couldnt be more grateful of having found you ladies in the way🫶🏻

Looking back, we should be so proud of us and our partners🫶🏻 No one can imagine how this journey is until you see yourself on it!

Sorry for my emotional speech😂 my hormones are all over the place currently plus I am so happy for @Magix86 and @Disco24 at the moment😊

Hope I have great news to share with you as well next week🤞🤞

@Disco24 @StarJasmine93 i continued testing for severaal days and even some weeks after from time to time😂😂 on my official testing day I think I used like 5 different test brands🤦😂

Aww @Blue234i feel the exact same!! We've been here for eachother for a year now and I couldn't be more thankful for you all. So excited for you for next week 💙💙.

This has crossed my mind a few times and so I'll suggest it. Please don't feel like any of you need to - I won't be offended in any way 😅. I was thinking, given that we've all been chatting for so long, come through so much together and continue to be a big support for one another, we could create a little WhatsApp chat. Our journeys have been very similar and I'm sure we will have much to discuss in the next stages such as pregnancies, births, babies etc. Of course if you guys would prefer to stick to Mumsnet we absolutely can. Just thought I'd put the suggestion out there ❤️.

@Blue234hahah so funny with the different brands. I was the same. I think first response was my go to and then backed up by clear blue 😅😅. Couple of amazon cheapies in between.

Hahaha I only had clear blue and my sister never rated them but that’s all I had yesterday! I’d already ordered first response which arrived last night, so I did that this morning, but then couldn’t compare to yesterdays clear blue, so did that too 🫠😅

Then a cheapie with a higher threshold to see if my HCG was high enough 😂😂

Glad to see we’re all the same.

@StarJasmine93 I’m actually really glad you suggested it. I’ve also thought about it for a while, but didn’t know if you’d think I was a weirdo 😂