Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Hi Ladies!
@StarJasmine93 I got a pregnancy pillow since early pregnancy. I am finding it useful when I stay in sofa, but its too bulky for bed and every time I need to change position it is a bit of an adventure😂
@Disco24 glad to hear things are moving and hopefully you will be able to start soon! I followed a long protocol with different medication and I believe I was injecting for around 5 weeks. So I am bit unsure on whether you are on long or short protocol. But any way it is great news and for sure doctors know what would works better for you:) Re-alcohol, i did cut down on alcohol as soon as I started meds. And I second @StarJasmine93's advice on eating as much as you can of those things that will be forbidden to you soon😂I am really missing some cheeses and charcuterie!
@Magix86 glad to hear you are doing quite well! Re- maternity clothes I am finding so annoying that a simple tshirst that looks like a non pregnancy one just because of having the word "maternity" on the tag is double price😩I am looking forward to summer so hopefully i will still fit on some on the dresses I had that were a bit baggy😂My leggings and trousers will not fit in the next days 😂Also got some maternity outfits from Shein and they turned quite good for the price!

Hahaha thanks for your tips ladies! I’ve been following a pretty good diet since we started IUI in November so hopefully that’ll pay its dues. It’s my birthday next week, then we’re off to Paris for our wedding anniversary the first week of May so I’ll make sure to get my fill of the forbidden foods 😂 Earliest I’ll start the pill is 10th May, if not it will be beginning of June so sounds like an odd celebratory glass won’t do much harm. But I agree with you all, as soon as I start the pill its full steam ahead!

Sounds like you’re all smashing it! I hope it continues to be a joyous time for you all 💖

Not good that maternity wear is more expensive thought! Didn’t realise that.

@StarJasmine93 enjoy your trip! My husband’s Glaswegian so we love our trips up there 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🗻

Hi everyone!! It's been a little while so thought I'd check in and see how everyone is getting on? ❤️

@Magix86you must be on the last leg of pregnancy now??
@Blue234how are the twins?
@Disco24any update from your side lovely?

Hey @StarJasmine93 I have been wondering how everyone here has been doing. How many weeks are you now? Are you doing OK?
I'm 26 weeks tomorrow so almost at the third trimester ❤️ things are going well, finally getting a few bits organised. Just feeling a bit of pain here and there and generally a bit uncomfortable but nothing too bad!

I'm 17 weeks @Magix86🙂. Yes all good on my end! Slowly growing haha. Had a midwife appointment yesterday and got to hear baby's heartbeat again so that was nice. All seems to be going well.

26 weeks wow! Almost onto the final stretch 🥰. Exciting you've started to get a few bits organised! What sort of stuff? Have you bought the big items yet like pram and cot? I've not even thought about buying anything yet but then it's also probably a good idea to spread the cost a little as there is so much to buy!!

Glad to hear you are doing well minus some aches and pains. Hope they aren't too bad xx

@StarJasmine93 aww it's so lovely when you hear the heartbeat again isn't it?! Really pleased everything is going well.
We haven't got a pram or any big things yet. We did buy a pump and bottles and some clothes but the pram and cot will be the next thing, probably going to have a look next week for those. There's so many options it feels impossible to make a decision!

Yeah I didn't expect to hear it at the appointment so it was a nice bonus ☺️.

Ah I bet it's so lovely buying little clothes for them ❤️❤️.

Morning ladies, glad all is going well!

The long wait continues for me. After my consultation appointment in April we have been given our protocol and last week we signed and sent all of our IVF documents. I have a nurse call next week which I’m hoping will be the green light for me to start taking birth control and then to start injecting my next cycle, so sometime in June. But who knows at this point?! 🫠

xx

Hey @Disco24so nice to hear from you! Ugh sorry your wait has been long. That's so frustrating for you. Fingers crossed they let you start soon - sounds like you are pretty much there. Once I got started, I felt loads better in my mind. The wait is the worst part!! Hope you are managing to enjoy some of the things you won't be able to once you start treatment and are being kind to yourself. Always here when you want to chat.

Lots of love ❤️

Thanks lovely! Yeah it’s been mentally very tough and at times feels like it’ll never happen for us, but then I’m sure in a few years we’ll look back and it’ll be a tiny amount of time.

Haha indeed! I’ve decided to enjoy my last few weeks before, I keep stopping drinking, going on long runs, doing yoga (boring 😂) etc. only for that appointment to be just a step. So I had a lovely weekend with friends and birthdays, and got a weekend away in 2 weeks that I’m just going to try and drop some of the pressure. Not going to be crazy, but just feel a bit like myself as I definitely was becoming lost. xx

@Disco24 Sorry the wait has been so frustrating for you 😒 I do remember once we got our protocol it moved really quickly after that, so fingers crossed for you! As @StarJasmine93 said, we're all here for you and rooting for you ❤️
Definitely enjoy a break! You deserve it

Hi ladies! Good to hear from all of you after a while!

@Disco24 sorry to hear that you are still waiting to start the medication. Good news is that you the nurse appointment booked and this means actually things will actually happen hopefully in your next cycle :) As the ladies said, we are here for you, dont hesitate to post if you need any support❤

@Magix86 wow cant believe its already 26 weeks! you are almost there! Glad to hear you are not coping too bad with pregnancy! that's great news! Do you already have any news about the gender or would you prefer it to be a surprise?

@StarJasmine93 glad to hear everything is going well on your end and that you managed to hear the baby's heartbeat 😍is it so unbelievable isnt it?

My twins are doing well, I am the one who is not that well 😂 From medical perspective everything is going great (fingers crossed everything continues like this), but being twins, even if I am currently 21 weeks my belly is already huge! I am starting to get questions from people on when my delivery date is as if it was something imminent😂So I am already struggling with sleeping and also with digestion. It doesnt matter what or how much I eat, my stomach gets so bloated after every meal and I feel so uncomfortable. Apparently this is normal (or this is what my friends that have been pregnant have told me) but normally in singleton pregnancies it happens mostly towards the end, but i am still halfway through😂. So I am just taking it day by day and trying to stay busy so I dont think too much about how i feel 😂

@Blue234 great the know the pregnancy is going as it should be but sorry you're feeling so uncomfortable!! I guess there is less room in there for 2 and everything is getting squished a bit earlier than usual lol. You're well over halfway now too. Have they said whether you'll plan to have them early?

Oh yes we're having a boy! Very happy 😊

Heey @Magix86 congrats on your baby boy!😍 Thats amazing news!

Re-delivery date, they told me from the very beginning that in week 37 they will induce it. Let's hope they dont come before that🤞

Aww @Blue234so sorry you aren't feeling great. That sounds quite tough! 😞 I find it I eat a big meal I feel as if I'm going to burst after it 😂. Assuming you can feel them moving around now? I think I can feel movement now. It's hard to say for sure for me but I'm definitely feeling something now.

@Magix86ahh so exciting you are having a boy ❤️. I'll find out in a few weeks so I'll keep you guys posted 🥰

Morning ladies, I hope you and bumps are all doing well 💖

Very happy to share we have a plan! Have to wait for next cycle in about 3 weeks to fully kick off, but what’s that in the grand scheme of where we’ve come from? So I’ll be doing:

• Norethisterone from day 14
• Buserelin from day 21
• Then unsure of stimulation meds etc.

But all going well looking at starting stims around July 12th. Going in next week to have my demo and get my needles. Argh slightly freaking out, but got a weekend away this weekend with some friends, then I’m head down in health!

Also, have any of you been disappointed in really close friends support through the process? I let them know dates of important appointments and then it’s just radio silence. I’ve said before it would be nice for them to ask, but don’t think I’m wanting too much?

Sorry long message 😅… happy hump day 💖

Yes yes yes @Disco24 I'm so happy for you you have a starting point and plan now!! ❤️ those 3 weeks will fly by, especially if you have a nice weekend away to look forward to.
To be honest I only told 1 friend when I was going through this but she was pretty good at checking in at certain dates. It felt nice to be held in mind but I also didn't want too many questions in case it hadn't gone well.
I'm sorry to hear you're disappointed with your friends. It's a really hard time and I don't think you're expecting too much from the sounds of it. Maybe they just didn't want to pry, or make you feel anxious about sharing if you weren't comfortable maybe?

Ah thank youuuu! 💖 any tips send them my wayyyy!

Totally understandable, but glad she was there for you. Yeah, it’s difficult to even know what support you’ll need too. I’ve been honest with them this morning and said it’s new for us all and as you say emotionally charged, but ask anything you want. I just didn’t know how others had managed it, if at all xx

I think being open with them and saying you'd like to be able to share updates and would be happy with them asking questions should hopefully help! It's great you can tell them how you're feeling to be honest.
Tips wise I wasn't on buserelin - I think that might mean you're on the long protocol?? But for the norethisterone make sure you drink a lot of fluids - electrolytes/isotonics should help. I got quite bad headaches when I started I think 🤔 I also tried to eat a lot more protein from that point onwards.

Yaaaaay @Disco24thats fantastic news ❤️. So happy you now have your plan. It will come round quick I'm sure. 🙌.

I was on buserelin. Before that I did a month of the pill and stopped taking that the day before my first injection of buserelin I think. I didn't get many side effects from it apart from slight headaches so stay hydrated 😊.

It's funny how different clinics have different drugs / protocols / plans. I can't tell if you are on long protocol... Sounds like it. Have you asked?

With friends, I only had a few who knew when I was going through IVF (most of my friendship groups knew that we had to have IVF but didn't know when). It was nice to have a couple people to talk to throughout and for them to wish us luck or let us know they were thinking of us at certain times throughout. However, it's a bit of a tough one because sometimes I just wouldn't want to share.

I reckon the silence from your friends is more ignorance because they genuinely don't understand or have a clue what to say. Not their fault! But it sounds like you've been open with them and clearly outlined what you are comfortable with so hopefully you find you get more support or discussion from them.

You've always got us 😅❤️😉

Great tips! We have a few electrolytes as I take them post long runs, but will get a few more in thank you.

Wow that’s really interesting. So I’m on short protocol I think, it will be 6 weeks from starting birth control to egg collection? I’m still waiting for my email of exact meds and timings, so I can confirm then. It was hard to take it all down in the call.

Oh don’t worry I’m very thankful for you all! Although do let me know if it’s too much sharing, I know you’re all through this process so don’t want to be overwhelming either x

@Disco24 please do continue with the updates and if you have any questions! You say we are all through it now but we all started this journey together and I've been thinking of you a lot ❤️
It's a strange one with protocols, I don't really understand it! Mine was 4 weeks from starting the pill to egg collection but I started the norethisterone on day 21 rather than 14. I think different clinics just have their own way of doing things lol.

Yes defo do keep us updated @Disco24. I echo everything @Magix86said! Always want to hear how you are getting on. ❤️

I was over two months from when I took my first pill to then having egg collection. I think mine was extra long and complicated because of my super low AMH.

Thank you both it really means a lot! Crazy how it can differ, but I guess all of our hormones are different too so good they can tailor it to our needs 💖

The only tip I really need is managing a husband with a needle phobia going into weeks of stabbing myself 😅🫠

She also said about injectable blood thinners after egg collection too, so best get used to them 💉😂 xx

Oh I start daily blood thinner injections next week! Not too excited about it, especially as I'll be on them until 6 weeks after the baby arrives! I guess it's one way to maybe speed through a needle phobia 😅 the things we have to do!