Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

@StarJasmine93 ohh the drop off is insane!! Such an anxious time waiting for those numbers too. Sounds like you picked a decent donor then haha 😄 I still worry the donor might be the reason we lost quite a few, but will never know! Might just be poor quality eggs lol I am 38 now. How old are you?

I'm doing good thank you. Just trying to get through each day until our 12 week scan in a week and a half! The days are dragging 😴

Yeah I'm not enjoying waiting for the phonecalls and reading a load of articles on drop off rates 🤣🙃

Haha yeah that's what I said! We picked well lol

I'm 31. My gynaecologist says I'm one of his youngest clients at the moment. But given how awful my AMH is, I may as well be 45 🤣🤣. I joke... I hope my age is on my side for quality at least. I think even with AMH, I've been really pleased with my numbers. 11 eggs to me is just amazing. I'm still in disbelief that I managed to get that many 🥹.

Awww I bet a week and a half feels like ages when you are waiting for scans. Fertility treatment is just a whole lot of waiting isn't it?! I'm the least patient person ever as well. The waiting kills me.

Yeah exactly, at your age I'd think quality should be pretty good. You've already done amazing to get 11 eggs with a low AMH.
At least you only have 2 more days now...well 1 really and then Saturday will be here! Again, I'll be thinking of you so please do update us if you're able to.

Will do @Magix86 ❤️

Oh wonderful news you had a fantastic donor, keeping everything crossed for Saturday for you!

I took an early test today which was negative as I’d had some weird pains earlier in the week which could have been progesterone or not. I’m only 10DPO so still early. Glad I did as I feel a bit more realistic going in to the next week. But wowwww 14 days is longggggg 🫠

I was a bit worried after our sperm was thawed as we were only left with about 4 million out of 20+, but the nurse wasn’t. We had a normality rate of 8% (normal is 4%) and motility of 80%+ which they were happy with. Keep telling myself we only need 1 ❤️

5 days to go 😅

Thanks @Disco24 !

Yeah it's still early as you say ❤️ keeping everything crossed for you lovely. Hope the pains subside soon.

Yeah 14 days is a long time. I find 2 days feels like 2 weeks at the moment so I totally get you 🤣

Ah all these waits are a killer! Sorry about the early negative @Disco24 but it's still a few days until your test date. Keeping everything crossed for you. I'm surprised they told you all that info about the sperm, it sounds really reassuring tho! We weren't told anything lol.
Will be thinking of you the next few days x

Ah interesting! So when we went for our IUI procedure I had to sign a form to say my name and hospital number aligned with the vial sticker. And on that form it had all the post thaw details and I took a photo of it so could read after.

They probably don’t expect someone to then go and research it all, but they left it out so I took my opportunity to read and ask questions 😂

I would have done exactly the same!!

@StarJasmine93 thats great news! Keeping fingers crossed as many of those 5 embryos get to blasto! Just one more day :)

@Disco24 sorry to hear you got a negative so far, but probably is still early so sending you lots of positive vibes from here! the wait for testing is the worst...

Hi everyone! Hope you are all having a nice weekend ❤️.

We had our embryo transfer today 🥹. It was so special, I'm so pleased 🥰. We got two others to freeze and apparently three others still developing that might make it to day 6 blastocysts to be frozen tomorrow.

When we last got an update, we had 5 embryos but it seems one other got to embryo stage after that and continued to develop so we will see.

The TWW starts now 😬🤞

Such amazing news @StarJasmine93 I'm really pleased for you 🥰 especially to have 2 frozen and the potential for 3 more! Hope the 2ww goes quickly for you lol

Thanks @Magix86 I'm so so pleased 🥰.

How are you doing??

I'm doing OK thank you! Nothing really to report from my side lol. Just waiting for our 12 week scan to check everything is going OK. I feel like I've been pregnant for about 10 months already 😅

@StarJasmine93 thats great news!🥹🥹 So glad to hear you have some spare ones to freeze🙏

Oh what fantastic news @StarJasmine93 I’m so pleased for you ❤️

Thanks everyone ❤️❤️.

Hi guys! Update from me, we got 2 further embryos to freeze so we have 4 little frosties now ❤️❤️ couldn't be happier 🥹🥲

@StarJasmine93 thats amazing news!🥳🤗🤗 So happy for you!

Morning ladies, unfortunately doesn’t look like good news, looks like it wasn’t our month. No one informed me progesterone would delay my period so I’m now 3 days late but had negative tests yesterday so a waiting game again to go for round 2.

It’s been a pretty awful 24 hours, and we’ve decided to push for IVF when I go for my baseline appointment. I just can’t keep going through the mental gymnastics for 15% chance after 2+ years of waiting already, when IVF is 45%+ a go. Let’s see what I’m entitled to, but for now I just need to spend some time processing xx

Oh @Disco24 I'm so sorry to see this 😢 I've been thinking of you in the past few days. Completely understable how you're feeling, take all the time you need to work through this. I really hope your clinic will be able to offer ivf instead - do you have an idea on when they will see you? We're all here for you and rooting for you ❤️

Thanks @Magix86 so nice to have you in my corner ❤️

I just need to know how it works. So if our trust offers 6 IUI OR 3 IVF, does that mean I can do 2 IUI and 2 IVF. Or cause we’ve done 1 IUI, do we still get 3 IVF. That will help us determine what to do next.

I had a great chat with Emma the Embryologist on Instagram yesterday and she told me to push for IVF. As you ladies know, if I can create multiple embryos now then that’s long term covered too rather than having to be older (egg quality) and start from scratch and pay private if we wanted siblings (feels so far off right now but needs to be considered 😅)

Feel like I should have pushed in the beginning but they’re so confident in my regular cycles and hormones, I just had to trust them.

@Disco24 of course you had to trust them, they're experts in all of this. I don't think you can blame yourself for that at all. It was right to give it a go, but you now know more about how you feel with the process and have every right to ask for a change. Can you access the ICB funding guidelines as that might answer your questions about what you're entitled to?

How old are you? As you can also use that in your argument for wanting embryos for later use. It's exactly why I wanted to push for ivf as I'm already old at 38 now (started at 37) 😅 although saying that, we will need to do another full round privately anyway to try to get some more as only have the 1 frozen. I was definitely hoping for more.

That’s a really good idea looking for the ICB funding guidelines, I’ll do that today. Thank you.

I’m 32 which is why they started with IUI, but this also makes me want to push for embryo creation as early as possible. Even if we don’t know if we want more than 1, more discussions and thoughts at every turn. Why does this happen to type A planners 😅

Yeah you did the right thing pushing for it. And only one got you to this point, so you might not need another! 💪

@Disco24 Good luck. Always here if you need a chat! Let us know how it goes with the discussions with the clinic x