Azoospermia - Donor Route Support

[Blue234]

Hi everyone!

This thread is dedicated to those of us navigating the azo journey and considering or have chosen the donor route.

I thought it would be great if we could share our experiences, offer support, and help each other through this challenging path.

Looking forward to hearing your stories and supporting one another along the way.

I am happy to start this thread by sharing our story:
-After around 1 year TTC, we were diagnosed with unexplained non-obstructive azoospermia back in March 2024. We were given 30% chances of finding sperm with MTESE but my partner decided he wanted to try all we could before moving to option B.
-We had MTESE done via NHS in August 2024 and unfortunately it was unsuccessful. We had lots of discussion before the surgery and we had agreed that we would good via donor route if the surgery wasn't successful.
-We have now been referred for a NHS funded IVF cycle using sperm donor (funded by us) and currently waiting for the clinic to call us to have implications counselling.
-In the meantime, we are currently in parallel the process of finding a suitable donor.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. On one hand, I’m happy and excited that we still have a chance to become parents and the idea of a future baby brings me so much joy. But on the other hand, there’s still a lingering sadness about what we’re going through, especially when I think about what my partner is facing.

Even though I know it’s not all about genetics, who hasn’t dreamed of having a baby that looks like their partner or a blend of both of us? While I believe I’ve mostly come to terms with this, a part of me still feels a bit heartbroken.

Choosing a donor is challenging. We try not to overthink it and even find moments to joke around while browsing profiles, but there’s so much to consider. One thing that particularly worries me is the possibility of our child wanting to contact the donor when they’re an adult. What if the donor isn’t kind to them? I know this is something far off in the future and out of our control, but it’s been on my mind lately.

Sorry for my long message, I will stop now! But just thought of sharing some of my thoughts to start with!

Looking forward to hear your stories!

@Magix86 @StarJasmine93 looping you into this new thread :)

Aww @Disco24 sorry to hear this. Have been thinking of you these past few days.❤️

I think if you feel strongly about switching to IVF, defo talk to your clinic. Is the plan at the moment for you to do 3 IUI rounds and then switch to IVF?

Not sure if you remember but before we found out my AMH levels, we had agreed that I'd do IUI. But we weren't covered by NHS for IUI with my AMH. Having now done IVF and the feeling I have about having 4 frosties Im really happy I ended up down this route so I would recommend it.

Here for you if you need to rant, ask questions etc. but I hope conversations with the clinic goes well xxx

Thanks @StarJasmine93 its exactly that, 3 rounds then discuss. But I’m feeling I have two maximum in me, with the cancellation in December, the month off, then this failing it really gets to you mentally when time is just passing. Really good to hear your perspective too, I’ll definitely raise it, thank you.

I’ve found the ICB document which states 6 rounds and if failed we still get the 3 IVF rounds / 6 transfers so that makes me feel better too, so thank you @Magix86 ❤️

How are you feeling @StarJasmine93?

@Disco24 I can totally imagine!! This journey is so mentally taxing. You know what's right for you and so follow your gut and know us girlies are behind you every step ❤️❤️

Im doing okay... Finding the TWW quite hard. It's quite an adjustment.... During IVF you have appointments pretty much every other day and a structure to your day with injections timings etc. and then you get to the TWW and you are kind of left alone.

I am dying to test but my husband is really against it and I was too before I was actually in the TWW. On our actual test day, he's due in the office and I'm getting stressed about it because if it's not good news I don't think he should be going into the office for his own sanity and then also I don't want to be left on my own 😥.

I think it's too early to test right now but I think I want to test when we are both at home for the full day.

@Magix86 @Blue234 what day did you first see a positive?

@StarJasmine93 I tested pretty much from day 2 haha - because I wanted to test out my trigger. It was completely negative on day 5. Day 6 I got my first proper positive. I didn't tell my OH that I'd been testing early 🙈 I was worried that it would change to negative and didn't want to upset him. I'd definitely do it when you are both at home though, even if it's the night before your OTD it will be a really reliable time to do it then. My clinic told me to test after 10 days but every clinic has a different timeline, some say up to 14 days.

I’m sorry @StarJasmine93 that you’re finding it difficult. I can really empathise with you, I found it so so hard and ended up testing early. I’ve heard that’s the case with IVF especially, can feel very lonely after. Have you been speaking to friends or family about it?

Oh no, I can imagine that’s adding even more stress. Is there a way for him not to go in that day? Or even test the day before so you’re together? I had to go into the office yesterday after my negative and I would not recommend it ❤️

😂😂 @Magix86 that's so funny you didn't tell your partner. No way I would be able to keep that to myself hahaha. I'm such a blabber mouth.

That's actually a really good idea to do night before... I'd not really considered that as they say to do first thing in the morning but I guess whatever the result, it will be the same the night before won't it?!

@Disco24 Yeah I've been chatting to my mum and sister in law which has helped. Just trying to stay busy really ... Going for dinners, cinema etc lol. The day before test day he's out as well... It's like really important work days that he shouldn't miss. He asked if I'd be up for waiting until a day after test day.... I was like absolutely not 😂😂😂 that's just not an option. Hahaha.

Hahaha I love that @Magix86 also amazing you got your positive so early! I’d be the same @StarJasmine93 I can’t keep anything quiet 😂

They say first thing so that it’s concentrated, I’d just try and not drink for a few hours before to make it more reliable maybe?

24 hours extra he can get lost, every hour is torture 😂

@Disco24 I am so sorry to hear your news :( I can imagine how difficult these times must be after all your waiting :( I am keeping fingers crossed for you to be able to switch to IVF.
In my case, they always talked about IVF due to my borderline AMH, but I also was thinking of IUI as it is less invasive. But in case this is one of your concerns, after having gone through it, it wasnt as hard as I expected it. So I would really encourage you to give it a try if you are keen on it and the option is available to you :) With your age hopefully you will have quite good quality and get some frosties :) Sending you lots of love.

@StarJasmine93 I tested it 5 days before my testing date and got a very fainted line. Then i was testing daily and the line was slightly getting darker.

I have some shocking news to share, which I am still trying to process. We went for my early pregnancy today and...we found out that we are expecting TWINS! I was expecting anything could happen today but this never crossed my mind! Both babies are perfectly fine for now and we could see their heartbeats❤I am a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I know its amazing news after all this long journey but I am gonna need a lot of time to process this.

Arghhhh @Blue234!!! What incredible and overwhelming news ❤️ what week scan was today? Did they implant two embryos or has it just split naturally? I can’t imagine how busy your brain must be 😅

🤣 yes I know I had to make sure I hid the tests each day so he didn't find out! I still haven't told him lol.

@Blue234 that's incredible news!! Can imagine that must have been such a shock to you. Omg. I was wondering when your scan was this week. I'm over the moon for you 💕

Oh my god @Blue234 !!!!! No way!!! I actually gasped aloud when I read that 😂😂. That is the most amazing news ever❤️❤️❤️. Wow. I can imagine why you feel overwhelmed!!

I'm so happy for you ❤️.

@Disco24 I echo @Blue234 's sentiment of IVF not being as bad as I thought it would be. I mean obviously it's different for everyone and I don't doubt it's pretty horrendous for some people but for me it wasn't bad at all. I got a bit worn out by the end but to be fair, I ended up doing 52 injections in the end so it was a lot. That was due to my low AMH though.

Thank a lot ladies! @Disco24 @Magix86 @StarJasmine93

I am currently on week 7. We only transferred one embryo! thats why i never considered this scenario cause it is highly unlikely😂So the embryo split naturally and they are identical twins, so they will be same sex.

They already warned me that its is very early days, and on these cases, some times one of the twins doesnt continue developing, but for now both are there 🙏

Morning ladies. Question for you on the progesterone... Did anyone really suffer on it? I am so bloated and have the worst abdominal cramps I've ever had. It's got the the point where I'm struggling to move from the pain and no position I go in is comfortable. Is this normal? I've read it can be a side effect but this is ridiculous 😥

Hey @StarJasmine93 ! No I havent. But this could be also a pregnancy symptom as far as I have read. What was killing me at your stage was vaginal pressure and ovary pain, same symptoms that I get with my period (thats why i was convinced i wasnt pregnant). But everyone is different so dont compare yourself to anyone! My suggestion would be to call your fertility clinic to put your mind at ease :)

Thanks @Blue234. I've emailed the clinic as I can't get through on the phone so hoping they offer some words of wisdom 🙏

@StarJasmine93 fingers crossed. Let us know what they say! Have you tried to take any paracetamol in case it helps? I survived that period thanks to taking paracetamol.

I hadn't been taken any but have taken some this morning. Getting a bit of rest bite now thankfully! Will be sure to keep taking them to help me. Thanks @Blue234. How you coping since the scan? Has it fully sunk in yet? 😂

Oh sorry @StarJasmine93 I haven't had that! I've definitely had some major bloating and some cramps, but not too bad. Like @Blue234 says that can also be a pregnancy symptom so 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Glad the paracetamol is helping!! Hope the clinic give you some answers, keep us updated

@StarJasmine93 hope it helps! Just take it easy🤗🤗
I am still accepting the news and the impact it will have in our lives😂 buut I am feeling more positive about it. I know twin siblings and they all say its the best experience you can have. The bond between them is so special, so that would be an amazing gift for them!
However this week I am starting to struggle with food😂😂 i only feel like eating a few things, I cant cope with most foods🤦 But apparently this is quite normal. Also havent been sleeping great, but I blame the news we were given😂
@Magix86 how are things on your end? You are almost there with the first trimester if i am not wrong!

@StarJasmine93 i had pretty bad side effects. I had really bad fatigue (could not work after 5pm), up in the night needing multiple weeks, really vivid dreams, gassy and bloating. On 8DPO I was cramping and thought implantation as felt so strange and sore (obviously it wasn’t) but I’m not looking forward to the hormonal rollercoaster again in 2 weeks 🫠😂

I’m glad the paracetamol are helping! And hopefully the clinic give you some explanation, let us know what they say ❤️

Ah @Blue234 I think twins are so special 💖 glad the shock is now settling haha!
Yeah I went through all that with the food lol, happy to say it does get better!! I'm 12 weeks 3 days today so yep 😄 have our scan on Monday to see what's going on in there
@Disco24 sounds like you had it bad too, sorry 😞 were you able to get a plan sorted with your clinic?

Wooohooo @Magix86 you’ll have to let us know how your scan goes.

Ah thanks for asking. Yeah I had the nurse call me Wednesday. She is going to speak to the consultant about eligibility for IVF. But for this round we will do another unmedicated IUI.

She understood my points about going through this difficult process for 15% chance a month vs 45% for IVF, not wanting to use all the donor sperm we have and wanting to freeze embryos as early as possible. So, hoping we get some solid next steps, I’m back in Monday!

Dusted myself off a bit, ready for round 2 🥊

Ahh @Disco24 sounds like a good plan!! And at least you get to go ahead with another round straight away while they sort everything out. Good luck for Monday x

Hi ladies! Hope you are all doing well?

An update from me... So last you heard from me I was suffering a bit and thought it might be my body reacting to the progesterone.

Well... I ended up being sent to A&E by our clinic on Sunday and spent 8 hours there waiting to get some sort of advice and for them to figure out what was wrong with me. I should add, by this point I had some serious bloating and abdominal pain. The kind of pain that wouldn't allow me to be able to stand upright and I couldn't get comfortable in any position.

Turns out I have moderate OHSS! I couldn't believe it. With my AMH and the fact we got a normal amount of eggs, I hadn't even contemplated that this would be a risk for me. Anyway I was admitted and had to spend two nights in hospital while they monitored me. I got discharged at lunch time yesterday so I'm home now but have been signed off work.

I'm not out of the woods yet and apparently this could last weeks 😥. I'm very unwell. The bloating is unreal, I genuinely look about 4 months pregnant and my abdomen is very tender. I'm a lot better than what I was over the weekend though.

Anyway... It's late onset OHSS they think. That's caused by rising levels of HCG and so I'm soooo excited to say we got our BFP finally 🥹🥰. Not how I envisioned finding out... From a doctor reading my blood levels on day 9 post transfer and confirming my HCG levels indicated I was pregnant whilst I lay on a hospital bed in pain 🙄. Did our urine tests today on official test day to confirm it.

I'm so pleased but I don't think I believe it quite yet and am very poorly so just want to get better 🙏.

Hope everyone else is well. @Disco24 hope your appointments went well this week.