Page 39 | FET / IVF August 2023

KG1244 · 2023-07-13T18:30:50+00:00

I’m due to start my second round of FET in August so thought I would set up this group for some treatment buddies ❤️

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 15:34

@Pinklady81 my OTD is Monday (I'm with ABC), the Create clinic patients get Betas covered in their cost and they are only done 2 days before.

I'm not trying to give false hope as I know FRERS are known for showing positives early but if a further test did show positive and you stopped taking the progesterone that would be another worry in itself.
counsellor

Steph186 · 17/08/2023 15:34

@GCS34 ooh and thanks for the explanation on grading, that was really interesting and helpful!!!

Pinklady81 · 17/08/2023 15:36

I'm with create I think I'll just go and then it's done I go away on holiday Monday so want to know so I can try to move on x

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 15:38

@Pinklady81 yea I would in that case as they come back with same day results and atleast then you know the answer, as hard as it may be.

I hope you manage to get some winddown time on your holiday, fertility treatment takes such alot from us so important to rest and recuperate

Ellenn · 17/08/2023 16:01

@Lowo21 you can order them here https://www.medichecks.com/products/pregnancy-blood-test
they are quite expensive, make sure to click no doctors comments and you will get result sooner 😊 sometimes they have sales so worth keeping an eye on their page!

@Pinklady81 so sorry to hear of your result xxx

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Helene2019 · 17/08/2023 16:10

Pinklady81 · 17/08/2023 15:23

@ttcsolomumtobe hello I'm say as you transfer was 7th august a 3 day transfer ! I've had 3 egg collections done and this my first transfer not had much success at all in total 5 cycles but 2 cancelled and only one on the freezer a 4CC so think that's just a no brainer ! I'm 42 now and I've just had enough of it all if I'm honest I cried myself to sleep last night and just want to forget all this! X

What @kirstysmbc said is right. I think test two days later. None of my clinics have ever done a blood test, i just report a pregnancy test to them on the OTD.

Re the rest of your post, it really resonated as is similar to my story. I am now mid 40s and currently in TWW from 5th cycle of IVF with ICSI (over about 6/7 years been doing this on top of the years of TTC beforehand!). It has been all consuming for over a decade of our life. The only way I've managed to get through it is I forced us to take periods of time out from TTC/IVF to just enjoy fun things you can't do when ttc (all the food/alcohol, travelling loads and it's nice to spend time not worrying about supplements, exercise, BMI).

This is only my 3rd ET across 5 cycles and I started bleeding today 2 days before OTD 😭. Prob TMI but it is brown not fresh blood. I'm already on progesterone pessaries which are supposed to suppress AF. But I feel crampy like AF is on its way.... 😔. I know some people on the thread have OTD from tomorrow 🤞 for good news.

Hopingforno2in2023 · 17/08/2023 16:41

Yeah that statement really hurt me @GCS34 but I can also see that it will be true. She has always been favoured over DH and BIL and I have no doubt her baby will be favoured too. Ultimately there is nothing I can do about it all and I just have to hope for the best, for the baby’s sake if nothing else.

Clinic rang, I can collect my Testogel whenever. However still have to wait for a withdrawl bleed and a natural period before I start taking it. The wait feels so so slow!

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 16:58

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 12:31

@GCS34 ha go ahead and jump it, it's good to hear other people's views and what I like about this forum. Yes it's defo a headfuck and knowing my period would be due normally in the coming days I do have much more awareness but just trying to be positive.

I'm glad having the embryo update gave you reassurance and you can plan in. I fully get what you mean re planning the second when the first hasn't happened yet, I feel like it's a coping mechanism and a way of feeling okay if it didn't work, even thought with you heart all you want is for it to work. Before even starts stim I had various hypothetical scenarios played out and although it can be hard to have to think of them, specially with the unpredictability of fertility I feel like knowing that those plans are there if I need them has allowed me to remain calmer, right now while I'm in this 2WW I just wanna focus all my energy and good thoughts on this transfer.

honestly it's going fine.. my zen is probably annoying to some 😂 a part of me always thought I would be a solo mum so don't feel too phased by it. Yes, maybe get a new username later down the line. When I first started doing fertility planning and considered signing up for things like this and maybe an insta to log my journey (didn't do that in the end) my friend suggested "bankruptbyspunk" as a username 😂 yea OTD is Monday

@GCS34 Threads like this make us realise that we're all bloody mental, and the whole thing is a headfuck. And if you think 'I'm the only one who thinks like this', you soon realise you're not and that alone is priceless. Feeling less lonely and stupid, makes us all feel more positive! MORE WEIRD STORIES PLEASE PEOPLE!!! 😂
I think you're right on the self preservation side of things. Even though, when/ if it happens, no amount of prep-talk or pre-empted thinking will prepare you for how it'll feel. So we may as well do to hell with that shit mindset and all focus on the fact that ever month is a month closer to sleepless nights and screaming weirdos! 😆It sounds like you're in a really strong place RE the mindset and zen-vibes. Have you managed any exercise yet or still veering away from it? I did Pilates last night (as I couldn't move from 3 days at the gym!) and I'm now worse off than before! 😂Pilates really hurts man! Have you done yoga to try and connect with your energy and body?

Defo up for you changing your username! Do it, do it, do it! I hope you're a sucker for peer pressure! 👀And on the back of what you said @kirstysmbc - how much is donor out of interest? From what I recall from a podcast, you're looking at around £12k per round, Vs. £7k ish for standard IVF. Is that right? And Kirsty - are you donor too? Also, what is a vial?!

@Pinklady81 Not long left until OTD! How are you feelin? I'm so sorry you cried all night. Is your husband / partner frustrated with it all too? And do you mind me asking what caused 2 rounds to be pulled? was it stim response etc?

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 17:00

Steph186 · 17/08/2023 15:34

@GCS34 ooh and thanks for the explanation on grading, that was really interesting and helpful!!!

@Steph186 no drama llama🐕(i think this is a dog but it was the closest to a llama I could get!!)

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 17:10

Steph186 · 17/08/2023 15:33

@GCS34 I have to do medicated with a bleed induced due to my periods being so irregular. Last time I had my planning call, then a blood test about 10 days later (I can’t remember why there was a delay, not sure if it was my availability or theirs!)

Started norethisterone the day after blood test, took that for 9 days then bled 3 days after I stopped.

Started fyremadel and estradiol that day, then eventually was on lubion and cyclogest.

All in I was 21 days from bleed to transfer, so not too long! (Although I know it feels it at the time), so about 33 days total with norethisterone included if you need to do that.

We had our planning call earlier today, just waiting on the nursing team sorting out meds and get the blood test booked. I’d expect that will be after we come back from hol, so sometime the week after next 🤞

@Steph186 aka 🐕. Ah okay so you'll be the same as me then. I forgot you're on the shit PCOS train. Do you have many periods a year or not? I haven't had a 'natural' period (that hasn't been from stims) for 2 years now. It's mental. Bloody hell, what a tonne of drugs! What was the need for the noresthisterone? I'm not sure what that does to be honest! And estrodiol - is that the estrogen tablets? It's all new this side of the fence! I've never got to transfer, so this side of things i'm a virgin (oh the irony!) Is that appointment to start meds for a FET right? When and where do you go? I go BH Monday and I am SO ready!!

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 17:12

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 15:38

@Pinklady81 yea I would in that case as they come back with same day results and atleast then you know the answer, as hard as it may be.

I hope you manage to get some winddown time on your holiday, fertility treatment takes such alot from us so important to rest and recuperate

@Pinklady81 I echo what bankruptbyspunk said that at least you will know the answer and it'll help you come to terms with things while you're away if it is not the result that you were hoping for.

When and where are you going? And how does your OH feel / cope with things?

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 17:20

@GCS34

Re donor sperm you get a set measurement, they call it a Vial/straw. The cost can be between £900-1500 on average. Each vial/straw will have a motility rating and different treatments require different Motility. Some treatments you can get 2 vials of lower Motility in the place of a higher one (costly but some people get attached to certain donors). You can also get washed and unwashed.... Unwashed is more as they have already stripped away none sperm fluid and poor swimmer.

For IUI they take the vial and strip away poor swimmers (even for washed there can be some that don't make it from the freeze) and then they inseminate you with the full vial.

IVF /ICSI they use 1 vial usually to attempt to fertilise all the eggs, so works out cheaper re quantity of sperm you need and chance of same donor siblings.

If ordering sperm from above you pay shipping costs and it has to be sent by ✈️ in a freezer container which can be £300-500 and then storage. My old clinic charged £300 for storage, current clinic was free for first year, as they aim to do the treatment within a few months which is decent

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 17:23

@GCS34 re exercise I will go for a walk after work at country park, about 4km, been doing around 10k steps a day. Classes wise I could have probably gone back now but haven't as nips still kill so the thought of jumping around 😯 and the last day or 2 I've have tummyache and if I was to go to a class and start bleeding I would worry and blame myself and wouldn't be able to see sense that it would likely have happened either way

I have a busy weekend with friends and then OTD on Monday so don't see too much harm in holding off.

I will speak to the clinic on OTD re exercise and I have next week booked off so will hopefully get some classes and swims in 🤞🏻

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 17:26

Lowo21 · 17/08/2023 13:35

@GCS34 thanks for TFP grading deets... super helpful, they hadn't provided for me but to be fair I haven't asked.

Re the protocol we agreed with the consultant early on the short protcol FET I can only think that that is why we have been able to book things in earlier, I am just waiting on the medication invoice which I have been told should arrive by Monday. I am fairly confident you will be on the same timeline, I don't know if you have had the same but delivery of meds has been super quick and efficient and that's the only thing you might be waiting for ?

@Lowo21 No worries lovely. The irony is, the 'Simplified Embryo Grading System' that they have used, has in fact made it complicated to understand!

I think we'll be on a short as well, given my PCOS and response to drugs previously. I don't know what the long would be, or why i'd be on it when I don't have periods, so I assume i'd be the same? Sound right? Ah that sounds good! Don't you find it's funny how shit finance are at getting you to pay? 😂When we were paying for OI a few months back, they were like 'meh pay when you're here next no worries'. I really don't think they gave a shit 😅Yeah Stork have been really fast previously. Plus, my husband drives passed our clinic every day on the way into the office so he can / has picked up things previously direct.

I think from what they said, we have the call next week. Then they send over the paperwork based on the protocol we're put on (short I imagine) then we have to fill it out, then 'admin processing time' which is a BS but whatever. Then start. So given from our IVF planning appointment, to consents, to admin time, bloods etc, and starting the first stim, was a week, fingers crossed won't be too bad. So you should be startnig your meds in about week is that correct? Think you'll be ahead of me xx

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 17:30

Hopingforno2in2023 · 17/08/2023 16:41

Yeah that statement really hurt me @GCS34 but I can also see that it will be true. She has always been favoured over DH and BIL and I have no doubt her baby will be favoured too. Ultimately there is nothing I can do about it all and I just have to hope for the best, for the baby’s sake if nothing else.

Clinic rang, I can collect my Testogel whenever. However still have to wait for a withdrawl bleed and a natural period before I start taking it. The wait feels so so slow!

@Hopingforno2in2023 I'm not surprised! That's a really spiteful, horrible thing to say! What a self centered .... madam! Sorry I know she's family, but it's not nice to hear. Do you think that is because she's the 'girl' of the children? Maybe because she's female, and obviously she will be physically having the baby, she feels the parent will be more involved? Is the new partner stayin involved - he's not done a runner or anything has he?

What does the Testogel do? Sorry being blonde again!

Pinklady81 · 17/08/2023 17:47

@GCS34 one cycle cancelled due to poor response and another a cyst. It's been a rollercoaster as I'm sure you can all understand. I'm ready to draw a line under it and want to have a nice time in the sun in Greece and know now I can go full steam ahead with my wedding planning. My partner has been amazing and although I've done all the physical side of things, he reminds me that he goes through this too but in a different way! He just thought that it would work first time and after my miscarriage last year when he had seen heartbeat he was yes this it but I was never quite convinced !

kirstysmbc · 17/08/2023 17:57

@GCS34 Yep, I'm a solo mum too, so did IVF with donor sperm. @ttcsolomumtobe has put it all so neatly about how it works - I paid close to £3k for two vials and shipping. Mine was a little bit more expensive as there was a bit more info about the donor available. Choosing a donor was a bit like online dating, but my choice was obviously ok as 6 of my 7 mature eggs made it to blastocyst last time, and I had my daughter. I'm using my remaining vial from the same donor for this cycle, so fingers crossed it works ok this time too...

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 18:07

@kirstysmbc & @GCS34 my first lot of 3 was the same donor from an American site and like you Kirsty I got lots of options and ways to filter... For anyone that's curious I suggest having a nosey on the sites as it's so interesting.

You can only have 1 donor in a clinic at Tue same time and due to high shipping costs I got 3 but none of them worked....yet I saw from the site he had confirmed pregnancies. Sometimes eggs and sperm just aren't compatible.

My current donor for my IVF was like the only one of 4 my current clinic stocked that I could pick from. 2 not suitable due to needing ICSI and that was like £1100 more and other 2 were of a rich cultural/ heritages background which I didn't feel was right for me to choose as I wouldn't be able to give them the full understanding of it and they would look different to my friends children... Which I have no issues with but I think it's alot for a child to take on, on top of the donor thing. Hope that is explained okay and not sounding against certain groups.

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 18:21

Ellenn · 17/08/2023 13:06

@GCS34 yeh unfortunately that’s the wait for NHS treatment I think form going on list to actually starting treatment is more like 8 months. There are 3 NHS clinics in Scotland and I think there is another private clinic in Glasgow (unsure if any on Edinburgh) I paid for self-funding cycle at a NHS clinic which we started the process in January and started proper treatment in July last year. Then I got my official referral from NHS in November for initial screening but I had to transfer my remaining embryo before I could go ahead with that cycle.

I believe the wait time between transfers is due to lack of staff 😢 trying not to think of the length of time I would need to wait if this embryo doesn’t work out.

no more spotting so far …. And medichecks have received my sample so just waiting for the results eek feeling nervous.

@Ellenn blimey that’s a lot! That’s sad I won’t tell her that it’s not fair. Her appointment is sept so hopefully they’ll be able to get started spring time 🤞😢that’s frustrating they made you transfer your last embryo before they’d touch you. Have you had 2 transfers then in total (3 including the one on board now)? And how are you feeling? Not long to go now until the scan. A week isn’t it?

gosh yeah it’s really sad and hard. And defo not something you need to occupy your mind with now! Focus on lucky number 3 and deal with what you need to when you need to. 🤍will they send today?

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 18:24

Pinklady81 · 17/08/2023 17:47

@GCS34 one cycle cancelled due to poor response and another a cyst. It's been a rollercoaster as I'm sure you can all understand. I'm ready to draw a line under it and want to have a nice time in the sun in Greece and know now I can go full steam ahead with my wedding planning. My partner has been amazing and although I've done all the physical side of things, he reminds me that he goes through this too but in a different way! He just thought that it would work first time and after my miscarriage last year when he had seen heartbeat he was yes this it but I was never quite convinced !

@Pinklady81 gosh that’s hard. I’m sorry. Awful about the cyst. Do they know why it came up or was it a product of the stims? And absolutely. You deserve it - we all bloody do. I like to think that this journey teaches us resilience. And each time it makes us harder, better and stronger to take on monsters in the future. Your time is going to come 🤍 lovely on Greece too. We’re going there on bank holiday. Where abouts you heading? And planning a wedding is amazing! When ans where? I wish I could have my wedding again!

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 18:27

kirstysmbc · 17/08/2023 17:57

@GCS34 Yep, I'm a solo mum too, so did IVF with donor sperm. @ttcsolomumtobe has put it all so neatly about how it works - I paid close to £3k for two vials and shipping. Mine was a little bit more expensive as there was a bit more info about the donor available. Choosing a donor was a bit like online dating, but my choice was obviously ok as 6 of my 7 mature eggs made it to blastocyst last time, and I had my daughter. I'm using my remaining vial from the same donor for this cycle, so fingers crossed it works ok this time too...

Wow good on you @kirstysmbc takes balls that does! So fair play to you and @ttcsolomumtobe that’s wonderful you’re using the same. Means the children will be similar! Is there any legal stuff around the donor and children when they get to 18?

Pinklady81 · 17/08/2023 18:29

They think the cyst was a result of my first full cycle it had gone by the next cycle ! Although ever since then I have been scanned on day 2/3 prior to starting stims so I don't waste any meds! We are heading to Crete it couldn't have come at a better time if I didn't have this coming up I think it would have been a different story for me and I went last year straight after my miscarriage and it was just the tonic I needed! .

I am getting married May next year in a barn and so very very excited I never thought this would be me but if IVF has taught me anything it can make you stronger and I couldn't have done it without my husband to be ! He's been my rock ! X

kirstysmbc · 17/08/2023 18:32

@GCS34 Yep, if you use donor sperm in the U.K. you have to use an open ID donor, and any children can ask for the details when they turn 18. The donor conception network advise being very open with children about donors, so I've been reading my daughter one of the books they write for children about how they are conceived since she was tiny. Who knows whether she'll want to try and find him or not...

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 20:01

kirstysmbc · 17/08/2023 18:32

@GCS34 Yep, if you use donor sperm in the U.K. you have to use an open ID donor, and any children can ask for the details when they turn 18. The donor conception network advise being very open with children about donors, so I've been reading my daughter one of the books they write for children about how they are conceived since she was tiny. Who knows whether she'll want to try and find him or not...

@kirstysmbc wow yeah that is really interesting. Does your daughter understand or she still too young at this stage? Is there any way that the donor knows if you conceive etc? I think I know the answer (based on the BFN podcast I mentioned before) but just wondered. How old is your little girl?

GCS34 · 17/08/2023 20:08

ttcsolomumtobe · 17/08/2023 18:07

@kirstysmbc & @GCS34 my first lot of 3 was the same donor from an American site and like you Kirsty I got lots of options and ways to filter... For anyone that's curious I suggest having a nosey on the sites as it's so interesting.

You can only have 1 donor in a clinic at Tue same time and due to high shipping costs I got 3 but none of them worked....yet I saw from the site he had confirmed pregnancies. Sometimes eggs and sperm just aren't compatible.

My current donor for my IVF was like the only one of 4 my current clinic stocked that I could pick from. 2 not suitable due to needing ICSI and that was like £1100 more and other 2 were of a rich cultural/ heritages background which I didn't feel was right for me to choose as I wouldn't be able to give them the full understanding of it and they would look different to my friends children... Which I have no issues with but I think it's alot for a child to take on, on top of the donor thing. Hope that is explained okay and not sounding against certain groups.

Thanks for explaining bankruptbyspunk, I mean @ttcsolomumtobe 😏yeah I defo will. Can anyone just browse? Send a link to one that is good as it’s a world that honestly fascinates me, and not in a derogatory sense.

so you can’t have sperm stored from two different donors frozen at the same time? Seems unfair. That’s so sad they didn’t work. What did they think that was down to?

by rich cultural background, do you mean ethnicity or Lifestyle? It’s fair to want your son or daughter to look like they aren’t from another world you’re not part of.