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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

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Original poster

Just found out my friend is pregnant...not happy!!!

71 replies

erilou38 · 12/01/2014 22:58

A friend of mine who is older than me, 40 this year has just texted me to announce her pregnancy, i know it sounds awful but i'm gutted. She had been trying for 7 months and i was kind of hoping it wasn't going to happen. Another older woman who has gotten pregnant while i'm in menopause at age 38!! So pissed off!!!!!!

OP posts:

roastednut · 12/01/2014 23:05

Reading some of your other posts I think you already have 2 kids? Is this your friends first?

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 12/01/2014 23:08

Not very friend like of you to be hoping she didnt get pregnant.

BrianTheMole · 12/01/2014 23:11

But, you have 3 children yourself?

OhBuggerandArse · 12/01/2014 23:12

What a horrible thing to say. And to feel.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 12/01/2014 23:12

You were hoping your friend wouldn't be able to have a baby? Nice

morethanpotatoprints · 12/01/2014 23:13

I know this is an emotive subject and can sympathise with you, it must be a hard time for you.

If your friend has been trying for 7 months she is obviously very happy and the baby is definitely very much wanted.

Please don't give up hope though, it is common for women to fall during menopause I did myself a year younger than you.

Do you think you will be pleased for her once your initial reaction has sunk in, because if you can't then you must be honest with her and lose the friendship. Although this sounds very sad.

Santabroughtmethis · 12/01/2014 23:13

I think you need to see how you'd feel if this was tables turned. Also would you rather she told you or heard it third hand?

Hoping she'd not get pregnant is mean, after all if you know how that feels why would you want someone you call a friend experiencing the same?

TheArticFunky · 12/01/2014 23:15

Very mean-spirited of you.

Floralnomad · 12/01/2014 23:15

I actually don't think you understand what the word 'friend ' means .Very nasty attitude .

LittleBearPad · 12/01/2014 23:18

Your friend being pregnant has absolutely no effect on your own fertility. You know this so don't be angry.

Original poster

erilou38 · 12/01/2014 23:40

This will be her 3rd baby. Her 1st with her new partner. Thank god she's not a close friend so i won't have to talk to her. I know i must sound a real bitch but i too have a new partner and am desperate for a baby as he has no children . This woman's new partner already has a child.

OP posts:

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 12/01/2014 23:46

Look- how many children either of them have has no bearing whatsoever on your fertility. I understand you are frustated and feel shortchanged but it isnt their dault uou are going through menopause or that your partner has no dcs of his own. Having these nasty thoughts about her is only hurting you- why do that to yourself? Lose this negativitu towards her and try to muster some joy for her or at the very least just lose the bad feelings. They dont help you in anyway so are pointless.

pipsqueak · 12/01/2014 23:47

Glad you are not my friend

Original poster

erilou38 · 12/01/2014 23:53

I just didn't need to hear that news. She knows how upset iv'e been the last couple of weeks but hasn't been of no support to me. It's like she texted me tonight to just rub it in and to gloat. None of you ladies know her. She's the kind of person who likes to be better than everyone else and i only ever hear from her when she has something to brag about, like a nice new house, new car, new baby. I don't think i'm a bad person for having these thoughts and feelings. Sorry if i have pissed people on here off.

OP posts:

McFox · 12/01/2014 23:57

If you feel like that about her anyway, why bother being her supposed friend? This is a really mean reaction to someone's good news, and if you feel like that then cut the relationship and move on, because it doesn't sound like you are friends to me.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 13/01/2014 00:00

Then why bother with her? You dont like her so cut her out of your life. I dont get why people yap and yap about people and run off a big list about why their 'friends' are not nice instead of just dropping the friendship. Its clearly not doing you any good tk keep in touch with her ao drop her.

Original poster

erilou38 · 13/01/2014 00:03

Probably won't bother with her anymore. I was agood mate to her during the break up of her first marriage. Then at her 2nd marriage i was not asked to be bridesmaid, she had some woman she had only known for a few months(they have since fallen out). This hurt me. I have barely heard from her the last few months, the occasional phone call, few texts. Then this news tonight. I think some of you must feel like me but are too afraid to admit to it.

OP posts:

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/01/2014 00:04

How many DCs do you have OP?

tracypenisbeaker · 13/01/2014 00:04

She 'likes to be better than everyone else?' I highly doubt she got pregnant to have one up on you. If you think so low of her and cant be happy for her good fortune then dont claim to be her friend. Because true friends dont wish bad things to happen to you.

Sorry that you are having trouble concieving, though.

KareKare · 13/01/2014 00:05

Feeling bitter about your friend is not going to help you; it's just going to make you feel worse.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 13/01/2014 00:05

To afraid? this is an anonymous forum where nobody knows who we are- there is nothing to fear from MN but people's opinions.

And no. I dont feel like you- i dont keep people in my life who piss me off. Life is too short and so is my temper.

Original poster

erilou38 · 13/01/2014 00:07

I have 3 children but that's beside the point. I only wanted one more with my husband as he has none. It's been hell for me this past 18 months and then amenopause diagnosis just after Xmas.

OP posts:

Original poster

erilou38 · 13/01/2014 00:08

Why are you all getting so riled up ???

OP posts:

Lairyfights · 13/01/2014 00:09

Wow sounds incredibly harsh! DH and I have been trying for 5 years, no babies - I've had friends who have had babies and are pregnant - in that time and yes, we have both been upset and felt like the world is against us - but to wish that infertility on your friend and hope it wouldn't happen for her? That reflects much more on you than it does on her. I think you need to look at the type of friend you are!

Oblomov · 13/01/2014 00:09

Feel like you, but too afraid to admit it?
Errrrr NO. I have never felt like you. You are WELL nasty.

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