can women be paedophiles?

[mummynetter]

this

Sure, there's obviously a continuum. But I do see a big difference between someone attracted to a 15-year-old and someone attracted to a 5-year-old.

So they distinguish between rapists and non? How? Based on whether they used force and violence? Or what?

sorry - by the charge and age of victim , if over 16 years old, then in the first group I didn't see rapists - were working with NSPCC and SSD so children were the focus.

But yes of course, so do I and most/all practitioners appreciate the difference in "deviance" levels twixt 5 y.o victim and 15 y.o. victim. The former has crossed so many
more boundaries in order to abuse, and has much less scope for victim-blaming.....is this what you mean????

Yes women can be paedophiles, anyone who thinks they can't is naive in my opinion.

It's like women can and do physically abuse men.. but someone society seems to focus mainly on the treatment of men towards others.

I remember once working in a nursery, years ago, where there was a male member of staff. He always had to be accompanied when changing a child, though he was Police checked! It was ludicrous that this had to happen, but as female members of staff, it was ok to change a child alone. Either you trust your staff no matter what sex they are or you should make sure they accompany each other all the time.

Who knows how many female paedophiles there are. It's seen as such a taboo subject that women could never do such a thing that I expect many are making their victims life a misery

sure they can.

Message withdrawn

I wasn't thinking in terms of victim-blaming, but that is an interesting insight. I guess it's just that in many cultures it was entirely normal for 15-year-old girls to be married to adult men. (That being said, some things I've read indicate that in some cultures it was normal for five-year-olds to be molested by adult men.)

I guess I also see a big difference because, physically, a post-pubescent person is an adult (yes, obviously, mentally and emotionally they are not). And because I've heard tell of 20-year-olds with 15-year-old girlfriends getting into trouble, legally ...

Yes women can be paedophiles but I don't think that fancying teenaged boys makes you a "paedo" in the sense that you have a depraved sexual inclination. There are plenty of attractive teenaged boys.

It is illegal though, which is why you shouldn't act on it - it is illegal to ensure that people in positions of power (such as an older woman) do not abuse that power.

I was in a romantic relationship as a young teenager with someone 20 years older than me. He wasn't a "paedo" and I wasn't abused.

'Tis a complicated area when you are dealing with teenagers - shouting PAEDO! in every situation is not very helpful.

the other judgement is whether you feel a same sex relationship of a 36 year old and 14 year old would be ok

i think not

that entirely depends on the individuals involved and what was happening

Legally it wouldn't be okay - and rightly so. But I'm sure there are circumstances where it wouldn't be damaging to the individuals involved.

Really tricky environment here....ok at 15, easily becomes ok at 14 etc...right to "well she was old for her age....." - at 7???

Current legislation decrees 16 yo , though I do remember being shocked in school at the 'marriages' of our monarchs etc, at 11 and 12......outside of 16 yo to debate "abuse or not" is full of uncertainty, we agree?

Absolutely. I'd still like to see a law that said "under 16 but over 14, if the age gap is more than 2 years, it's a problem" or words to that effect.

my son is 14 - I am 39 ...yeuch that any of my mates could fancy him - or vice versa

Yeuch yeuch yeuch that I could look like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0h I don't know. When I was 14 I had a crush the size of an ocean on one of my friends mums.....if she wished to have acted on my obvious vulnerabilities, then I would have been utterly powerless!! boy, she was lovely......>>

I can safely say that i have not had crushes on my kids mates or vice versa..i think lots of ideas are imputed to teens that in fact they don't really have..most would run a mile if a middle aged woman tried to seduce them

Oh I don't know...

I remember having a mad crush on my Shop teacher. I would have been, hmmm, 12? And he was certainly in his 30s at least.

I think it's pretty normal and acceptable for teenagers to have crushes on adults. I think it's normal for adults to be attracted to teenagers, at least if they're post-puberty. But I think it's wrong for them to act on that attraction.

I've been offered a romp in the hay by a 17 yr old once or twice and i am the same age as the woman in the article

I said no without a moments hesitation, because legal or not at that age, it just seems wrong, i can find no reason that would make it right for a 39 yr old person to have sex someone of 14 or 15.

I have a rule that i dont date/shag/whatever people if i could have given birth to them

Ooooh..you are SO principled!!

But also you COULDN'T have given birth to said keen 17 year old....(not that I am encouraging you..)

Not really, i just dont get off on shagging blokes young enough to be my son

And the odds would be pretty high that it would be shit and over in 30 seconds, which wouldn't please me

there are many many female abusers.

we dont; usually consider women who sleep with young lads of 14 or 15 as peadophiles becasue the boys are usually not seen as victims.

But yes there are quite a few cases of adult women sexually abusing very young boys, younger than 12.

lou - sorry, it was tongue in cheek.

no that's cool i wasnt offended, i was just too lazy to use icons

She got jail and is now a registered sex offender. So yeah, woman can be paedophiles.

link

Being a sex offender is not the same as being a paedophile.