Chav names make your kids thick!!

[mancmum]

Anyone seen this in the MAil today (read at work!!)

Seemingly government research has found that kids with middle class names like KAtherine and Duncan do 8 times better in school than Waynes, Dwaines etc..

Some teachers have said that PAiges are the worst girls of all and that the following names arose the following comments:

Adrienne (kiss of death - spiteful, sneaky or both), Alanna, Ashleigh, Britney, Candice, Chantelle (spawn of the devil), Chelsie, Chelseigh, Chloe (nasty, spiteful).

Cindy (always a pain in the a**e) Courtney, Cortnee, Cortnie (trouble), Danielle (a nightmare), Jade, Jodie, Jordan (pretty bad for a girl), Kayleigh (a pain), Keeley, Keira (live in fear), Kimberley, Kylie, Leanne, Leigh, Lou-Lou,

Mia, Paige, Poppy (hyperactive and not very bright), Stacey, Tyler (lesson disrupter).

And these are the boys' names that the teachers most fear: Ashley, Chayse, Conor, Connor (a nightmare), Curtis, Damon, Declan, Dillon/Dylan, Dwayne (a terror), Grant, Jordan, Josh (arrogant, nasty, selfish.

Kade, Kane, Kieron, Kyle (always spells trouble), Liam (always a bad lad), Mason (a horror), Mitchell, Myles, Painton, Rhys / Reece (a nightmare), Ryan, Scott (live in fear), Shane (a terror), Troy, Tyler (lesson disrupter), Wayne (a terror).

What do you think?

LMAO at your new name!

should I be

Harpymerryberriez ?

Very Ricky Lake

Like the book, moomin.

" 5. Choose a word that describes a person or characteristic you admire
e.g. Faith, Hope, Pride, Tuff [PMSL at the last one!!!!WTF?]

6. Choose an occupation or hobby
   e.g. Fisher, Hunter, Rider, Skipper

7. Choose the name of a product you like
   e.g. Chanel, Hershey, Nike, Starbuck

8. Combine the name of the parents
   e.g. Jamal or Jamali is a combination of James and Ali
   Mardon is a combination of Mary and Don
   Ronell is a combination of Ron and Ellen "

Now the nights are drawing in, dh and I have spent many a happy hour inventing names according to these suggestions......

Ooo, I'm a prefix and an occupation. Get me!

what a brilliant book! I will call my next child Socialworker

so Doris and Fred would have a bouncing baby Dored and a sister Fredis.

i knew of a "shawntelle" once
and even worse, a friend's sister who is a gp recently encountered a baby called "churnette" - a personalised spelling of "jeanette" I think

Do any of you watch Bromwell High?

How about Darletta-Ratcatcher?

Shelandra-Postalworker

"Wondetta or Wondelle" sounds like a porn star.

Someone was considering Britknee as a 'unique' spelling for their daughters name...

And the lower middle class twins Marks and Spencer.

the little trouble maker Topshop

Oh no laligo! Might as well call the kid Queasy and be done with it. no?

Asda and Lidl anyone???

lololol at Britknee

This thread is making me laugh a LOT. Hate the whole chav thing but moomin's book and Britknee are just hilarious

ace names.

my children should obviously be Project-Manager and Jucy (can you guess my name?).

Or perhaps Projelle and Manucy

Well I like Dylan better than Holgor

or Gordholl

Dylanetta for a girl

Barkleena

at barkleena

Oh you liar Scummy, I'm going to have to tell everyone the truth that your rl name is Scummina, your partner is Leeeam and your boys are Lonny and Donny

Posh ones

LaBanque-Merchande

Good to know that we can now detect the future behaviour of our children by their name. I can't believe I came so close to ruining my childs future. Another couple of pages on the name book and who knows.

I think there may be an article next week about children with curly hair being less clever and less good at spelling. Folowing on from that blonde hair and blue eyed children will be shown to be the best behaved and best at exams.

Its a joke
[sigh emoticon]

And anyway being called Lisa Minge didn't stop that woman becomeing a Gynaecologist.....The name is just funny that's all